Constantly Feeling Guilty - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-13-2019, 11:18 PM Thread Starter
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Constantly Feeling Guilty


Does anyone experience this?

My mum packs my lunch for me and I feel guilty. I don't ask her to. I appreciate it but feel bad.

I don't clean the house. It doesn't cross my mind. I clean the bathroom when I see that it's really dirty.

I constantly feel guilty and feel that I should off myself.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 12:35 AM
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no need to off yourself.

Just make your own lunch and tidy the house.

problem solved
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 01:50 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by zulumabala View Post
no need to off yourself.

Just make your own lunch and tidy the house.

problem solved [IMG class=inlineimg]/forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_wink.png[/IMG]
Hahaha. Touche.

I feel depressed. And constantly feel that I disappoint my mum. But I tend to feel guilty a lot. Over anything.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 02:47 AM
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Guilt and shame are deeply embedded and could be rooted in issues you haven't even thought of.

I feel guilt often because I don't deserve to feel good. I dunno exactly why I feel that way, but it's likely because society absolutely hates people like me, and my psyche internalizes this hate and turns it into guilt and shame, since I have essentially "dishonored my tribe".

Maybe this could help you.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 04:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Does anyone experience this?

My mum packs my lunch for me and I feel guilty. I don't ask her to. I appreciate it but feel bad.

I don't clean the house. It doesn't cross my mind. I clean the bathroom when I see that it's really dirty.

I constantly feel guilty and feel that I should off myself.
You shouldn't feel guilty - at least you clean the bathroom. My son never did that as far as i can remember. I used to take his dinner into his room for him and often drive him down to Uni too. I really did spoil him tbh.

Your Mum probably likes making your lunch - but you could always suggest you'll do it yourself if it worries you.

Try not to worry too much though - it's not the end of the world.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 07:11 AM
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Originally Posted by harrison View Post
You shouldn't feel guilty - at least you clean the bathroom. My son never did that as far as i can remember. I used to take his dinner into his room for him and often drive him down to Uni too. I really did spoil him tbh.

Your Mum probably likes making your lunch - but you could always suggest you'll do it yourself if it worries you.

Try not to worry too much though - it's not the end of the world.
^I agree with this reply.

I never used to clean the house much when my dad was here, he was obsessive about it & do most (or all) of it. So yeah, when someone else already has that role established, it's easy to not think about it, because it's already being taken care of. --At least you do something, which is always better than nothing.

If it's a big source of guilt, you can always set reminders on your phone to do certain tasks throughout the week. Doing things to relieve guilt is very free-ing.

(And yeah, my partner sometimes expresses guilt because I make his lunch everyday, but I do enjoy doing it for him.)

-- solace in solitude is my personal hell --
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 04:04 PM
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Guilt is usually caused by a perfectionist attitude; I should know, since in my childhood I was in the same shoes. Every time I displeased someone, including myself, I felt this nagging knot in my stomach. I still do sometimes, but I've learned to relax the tension almost immediately. I can choose not to feel guilt whenever I want easily.

Here is a few things understanding which can help a lot:

1) As tropey as it sounds, it is all in your head. There is no objective fact of you failing someone, including yourself; there is just your interpretation of what happened. Force a different interpretation, and the guilt will disappear.
2) Nobody is perfect, and nobody is supposed to be perfect. No matter how good a person you are, you will fail someone every now and then. There is no point ruminating over those instances; just shrug, take a note and move on.
3) If you really feel guilty and can't deal with it, just talk to the person who you feel you are failing and tell them how you feel. Most likely your mother doesn't even realize that you have these feelings; opening up to her will bring you a lot of relief, and you will receive a useful feedback on your behavior.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 07:44 PM
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At some point yes. I feel guilty about lots of things as well. I keep wasting everyone's time, while I'm not worth it, I'm not worth anything...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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