connecting with our inner strength - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-26-2006, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
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connecting with our inner strength


i just spent the morning talking to my partners mother
and
i was shaking like a leaf. i feel so stupid and constatnly belittle myself. my voice is like a little mouse...my lips quiver my body trembles.
i hate it!!!


i'm trying to find ways to feel stronger in scary stiuations.
how do you all manage?
i've been told to befriend my fear, it works for about a split second and then i'm beating myself up again about my inability to function like a normal human being.

*sigh*


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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-26-2006, 02:31 PM
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Your reaction of hating your patterns is probably more of the same pattern... not that that helps too much. I hate how timid and anxious I appear, but in terms of ways to be less afraid or appear less afraid...I've learned how to fool people for a while, but have to be in a certain state of mind and I can't control that. Sometimes I am less afraid, and this also seems like it's something out of my control. In the long run, however, I feel like I have control to either improve my condition or let it slip in general.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-26-2006, 05:25 PM
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Re: connecting with our inner strength


Quote:
Originally Posted by little rosalyn
Quote:
i just spent the morning talking to my partners mother
Great!!!! I could only manage to fuss at the kids alittle
You had a couple of anxiety symptoms right? How long did it take you to recover from the symptoms? Sometimes I think that's the worst thing, but guess what it's over
I did read it right you spent the morning talking to her, so it wasn't one of those yes no conversations. So mom didn't run for the hills when you talked. Do you think she is a pretty good person? Did you respect her? Did she respect you? If you just happened to see her again tomorrow would you initiate interaction even if it's brief and do you think your nerves would be just a bit calmer because you talked to her today?STOP beating yourself up and be proud that you accomplished positive things today, allI did in the way of communicating is fuss at my kids. I feel the need to apologize to them now, but I know they love me even though I fuss. You also have to love yourself even though your not perfect. I'll remind you if you'll remind me.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly." MLK Jr.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-26-2006, 07:07 PM
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ok, I think its a lot about YOUR perspective on it, if yougo into a situation like this thinking "oh great someone wants to talk to me now Im going to be akward" then what will happen? all that expectation will make you anxious, sometimes when we are randomly less aware of a situation provoking anxiety our anxiety drops.

You can provoke yourself anxiety over dumb stuff if you thought "Im going to get anxious when Im on the computer" you will notice how that anxiety feeling comes for a bit, its weird, its easier for us to recall anxiety because its what weve pretty much obsessed about, BUT you can actually do this with any other feeling you wish, brains are amazing, if you imagine that some people who are insane can actually see things that arent there and BELIEVE theyre real, its all caused by their braing, of course, we arent insane but we can "recall" feelings, this is why I think that one must get the right attitude for socail situations, if you try going into a situation with the same thinking "this is going to be awkward" the result will be the same, reason why exposure doesnt always work, goodnews are.. you can change this..

Lets get in perspective for a bit, from a "scientific" point of view, not a human one.. how easy is it to talk? its just pronuncing words, right? well having a conversation is pretty muc h the same, when someone isnt worrying about themselves when in a conversation then the information flow is just much easier, well anyways conversing is easy, much more than any SAer (including myself) would think. Realizign a lot of theese things helped me, ITS EASY, ITS NOT THAT HARD (btw Im not yelling at you that was aimed at myself and all SAers)
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