Confidence - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 04:04 AM Thread Starter
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Confidence


Despite your social anxiety are you confident?

Do you fake being confident?

I'm learning to be confident. I've been stuttering when I say my name and with certain words. I get anxious answering the phone at work. And when I stutter sometimes I end up getting upset with myself. But I'm trying to not let it affect me.
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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 04:21 PM
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I don't have any confidence in anything, but sometimes I faking that I have some, although mostly it doesn't make anything better, if not even worse...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-20-2019, 08:21 AM
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Yep


I suppose I put on an act but I don't go overboard enough to come off as a true extrovert. If anything, it's solely been done to bypass confrontations and whatnot.

I guess I could say the same about interviews and whatnot. I don't like coming off as weird... so I try my best to act "normal".

Sad thing is, I can only ever pull it off for so long since I lack proper understanding of many things.

It's funny but I have to put effort in simply "sounding" normal let alone coming off as normal/sane. Similar to what's been brought up about voice and stuttering.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-21-2019, 02:27 AM
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How does one can fake being confident? I mean, I've heard lots of stories on how to fake it till you make it but I yet to find out how can I put it in practice. Whenever I imagine myself in various social situations I can see myself as being confident, whether fake or not, but when I actually engage myself in any social situation, I become too conscious of myself and I hardly can be myself, let alone being someone I'm not, that is confident.
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-21-2019, 03:22 PM
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I know I appear confident sometimes - and sometimes I am. It's weird and I don't really understand it. It must get very confusing for people - it confuses me. One of my friends says I always seem okay. But that's because I only ever go and see him when I'm feeling up to it.

I'm actually not really very confident at all. I'm often a nervous wreck. Except for when I'm manic - then I feel like God.
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 05:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vienuma View Post
How does one can fake being confident? I mean, I've heard lots of stories on how to fake it till you make it but I yet to find out how can I put it in practice. Whenever I imagine myself in various social situations I can see myself as being confident, whether fake or not, but when I actually engage myself in any social situation, I become too conscious of myself and I hardly can be myself, let alone being someone I'm not, that is confident.
People who fake confidence... I can often tell. I can see the insecurity in their eyes.

Basically just act like you enjoy your own behavior and that people like you and that you are successful.

Try to command attention and be more "demanding" than you'd normally dare to, like asking people for favors, using nicknames when addressing people, don't apologize for small transgressions, and that kinda stuff.
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 06:11 AM
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Many "confident" people still require external validation so it's just a false sense of empowerment.
Our society thrives on this confidence which is why we are neck deep and drowning in so much bull$h!t.

I've always dreamed that one day I'd like to be humble. It's like a quiet confidence without having a need to prove yourself.
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 07:55 AM
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Many "confident" people still require external validation so it's just a false sense of empowerment.
Our society thrives on this confidence which is why we are neck deep and drowning in so much bull$h!t.

I've always dreamed that one day I'd like to be humble. It's like a quiet confidence without having a need to prove yourself.
Excellent
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 07:51 PM
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I do think there is merit to the "fake it till you make it" idea.


I used to have zero self-confidence/self-esteem, but joking around about how good I am at something, how good my outfit looks, etc. has been a good avenue in my daily interactions. For me, at least, approaching it through comedy and being lighthearted about it has definitely helped extend my confidence to more serious areas. At work, at least.
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 02:56 PM
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No. I always had a lack of confidence way before my Social Anxiety. This is my biggest problem with myself. What I am starting to learn with myself is that when I have more of a serious approach to whatever thing I am doing I seem to appear more confident. For an example when I made my first YouTube Video. I was scared. I couldn't talk. It was like stage fright. A deer looking at an oncoming car with headlights. I can't be confident but I can be serious. My seriousness helped with my videos. I don't see this as faking confident. It is more like me conducting myself as a person of importance. Like One who is a news anchor or the President.
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post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 03:19 PM
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I'm not confident and never have been. I think my lack of confidence is painfully obvious too

more issues than vogue
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post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 04:00 PM
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To me "confidence" means being comfortable in your own skin, no matter what's happening around you.

In this regard, having an SA and being confident is at odds. Personally, I'm fairly confident nowadays, although I often have to force positive self-talk in order to stay that way. The inner voice constantly tries to make us feel bad about ourselves, and it takes a lot of work to keep it at bay.
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post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 04:49 PM
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To the OP, yeah stuttering sucks. I used to suffer from it myself. Thankfully it has mostly gone now. I became good at word substitution, using an alternative word instead of one that I'd have trouble saying. It was mentally exhausting, though.

I'm not too bad these days in terms of confidence. For me a lot of it is about simply not caring so much about what other people think of me, how I look etc. Medication has helped with this.

And I agree with the person who said you can tell when people are trying to fake confidence. The eyes are windows to the soul, they give it all away.
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post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 05:18 PM
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Nope and I'm not good at acting like I have any.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
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post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 05:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fun Spirit View Post
No. I always had a lack of confidence way before my Social Anxiety. This is my biggest problem with myself. What I am starting to learn with myself is that when I have more of a serious approach to whatever thing I am doing I seem to appear more confident. For an example when I made my first YouTube Video. I was scared. I couldn't talk. It was like stage fright. A deer looking at an oncoming car with headlights. I can't be confident but I can be serious. My seriousness helped with my videos. I don't see this as faking confident. It is more like me conducting myself as a person of importance. Like One who is a news anchor or the President.
What's your youtube channel if I may ask?

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
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post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 05:38 PM
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What's your youtube channel if I may ask?
I don't have the videos any more. I deleted them. Plus they were under a private link. Not like a channel for people to subscribe. I made them in response to the Post a Video of yourself thread here on SAS. I did alright but honestly I'm not cut out for "public speaking." And I tend to off a bit hard
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post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 05:54 PM
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Every now and then, I get this passing notion that I can do something well or that I have some sort of intrinsic value as a person, then I try to go out into the world and be a functional human being. Then I remember that, "yeah, I don't have any of that."

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post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 10:59 PM
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Depends. I have a lot of confidence when it comes to solving certain kinds of problems or supporting certain positions. I have no confidence when it comes to dating or fisticuffs. This is based on the successes/failures I've had in these areas. Are there people who feel confident in every area? I don't think I've ever met anyone like that.

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post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 11:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Despite your social anxiety are you confident?

Do you fake being confident?

I'm learning to be confident. I've been stuttering when I say my name and with certain words. I get anxious answering the phone at work. And when I stutter sometimes I end up getting upset with myself. But I'm trying to not let it affect me.
nope... no confidence.. and im not faking it either, i prefer to just try and not be around lots of people

I cannot Feel ... sorrow, no matter what misery befalls the world,
no matter what you think, what you feel or how you exist...

-Xemnas-
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post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-02-2019, 01:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fun Spirit View Post
I don't have the videos any more. I deleted them. Plus they were under a private link. Not like a channel for people to subscribe. I made them in response to the Post a Video of yourself thread here on SAS. I did alright but honestly I'm not cut out for "public speaking." And I tend to off a bit hard
Ohh okay. Well I give you respect for even doing it!

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
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