Confessing - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 04:13 AM Thread Starter
A Mess of Contradictions
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This is not meant in the religious sense - Does anyone else have this overwhelming need to confess self perceived sins to others - personality faults, dark inner thoughts that make you feel worse about yourself- and do you have any advice on how to deal with this?
... I go through phases of needing to tell people things, admit things about myself - often under the guise of them "Knowing the real me" or "knowing what a bad person I really am". I will tell myself it is for full transparency. Usually, this happens with people I know feel differently about certain issues than I do - my in laws for example, or my husbands co-workers.

It is worse when I see things posted on social media - for example, my brother in law - I am pretty sure he likes me. But he will post something about how people who believe in God are stupid and delusional. I believe in God. Therefore, he is saying I am stupid and delusional. I feel now, stupid and delusional, but still believe in God, so I feel the need to confess my belief to him and let him know that he should respect me less because if A, then B, and he needs to know that I am a person he doesn't like so much after all and maybe I should come around less, because why would he want to be around someone he views in such a way.... it goes on and on. It could be about anything. Again, that was just an example.

These things keep me up at night. I know this is related to OCD, however, I do not have any of the other OCD issues and have never been diagnosed as such. This is my one OCD issue, so I am wondering if it is more related to just general self loathing and creating a self fulfilling prophecy where people don't like me in the end, and I knew it all along.

I should note, after confessing whatever it is...that I am probably a terrible mother, that I don't like the Twilight books, that I don't support this or that issue... whatever it is, I feel better. So the confession leads to some anxiety relief.....


Anyone else?

"My cat can eat a whole watermelon." Rubin, Rubin and Ed, 1991
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 04:19 AM
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i have this uncontrollable urge to try all health supplements that i can.

more than half my monthly salary goes into trying out new supplements that i see online or in amazon.

its good and its bad at the same time.

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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 04:22 AM
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It definately seems ocd related. What i do with ocd is i just ignore it, i just tell myself that i should live my life normally, and then i live my life normally and ignore my ocd's. No matter how hard your ocd's make you feel bad, you cant give in to them. Remind yourself that they arent real.

I wrote this once about how to overcomr ocd on your own, its a bit long but some of it will help you.

It really depends on what your OCD is about. If its about a fear of germs, then you can try forcing yourself to not comply with your ocd to see how it goes, and most likely your mind will be wrong about your fears because they are just in your head when it comes to germ phobias. Germs are everywhere and we come in contact with them all the time but our bodies can defend against germs, its not the end of the world if we dont wash our hands 10 times in a row lol. If its some kind of mental ritual where you have to repeat something to prevent something bad from happening, then you can simply identify your fear, because your fear is the fear of what "would happen" if you didnt comply with your ocd. And obviously that fear is non-existent, so just ignore that fear. Ignore the thoughts that say "bla bla bla could happen if you dont do this or if you do this", then just ignore them, to hell with those thoughts, they arent real. Those thoughts are in your head, ocd makes you feel like those thoughts are "real", but remember, ocd is just a mental disorder, just like anorexia. Anorexics feel like they are overweight when they obviously arent. People who suffer from ocd feel like its the end of the world, they feel like some kind of horrible thing has a hold of them and they feel like that thing might make bad things happen if they dont comply with the ocd's. But its all in the head, the feeling that "something dangerous could happen if i think/dont think say this thing is just a feeling, its in your head, your brain produces chemicals which make you anxious and scared, but its all in your head remember. Ocd is like a bully that will try to threaten you with things if you dont comply, but it cant do anything except threaten you. So just ignore it, its not real. You can try identifying what is making you feel that way and telling yourself that the fear is in your head, or you can just face ocd head on and kick it right out of your life. Or both.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 05:31 AM Thread Starter
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Found this on another message board - and this sums it up.... the need for full transparency....

"I keep feeling like I don't deserve love from anybody unless they know every bad thing I've done, and know about my history with sexual and harm OCD themes. These things are extremely difficult and scary to talk about but I feel like my friendships aren't genuine unless people know. While interacting with people I keep thinking they would hate me if they knew. Part of me almost wants to shout everything from the rooftops but I know it would be a bad idea. This is making me really miserable as I feel like a monster and like all my friendships are fake.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? And for people who have actually confessed things like this to loved ones, how did it go?"

"My cat can eat a whole watermelon." Rubin, Rubin and Ed, 1991
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 05:38 AM Thread Starter
A Mess of Contradictions
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About the above. I don't have the sexual and harm OCD things...I meant the part about confessing all the things or my friendships are fake....sorry... I also appologize here we are.

"My cat can eat a whole watermelon." Rubin, Rubin and Ed, 1991
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 06:10 AM
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I'm the same way. Unluckily for me, most of the things I could confess would seem unbearable to any sane person. So unless I'm speaking in confidentiality or anonymity, I have had to practice bottling things up. A lot of things.

So far it's only gotten to be too much on one occasion recently.

Originally Posted by Ominous Indeed View Post
Isn't it a bit early to worry about that at 7 years old?
Originally Posted by Chevy396 View Post
I don't believe you at all about the taste. You are vegan anyway, so how would you know what meat tastes like. I get sick of vegans saying it tastes the same and then you bite into it and it's horrible.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 07:38 AM
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I actually feel similarly, in that i don't think a friendship is truly meaningful until one knows my personal faults. Which might explain why i am overly open about them, especially with friends.

When i was younger it was much closer to what you're doing now. It might have been related to ocd, i'm not sure, but it involved telling people things about myself which i cringe at now. "I never go anywhere," "people don't like me." i think it's pretty clear why i didn't do well with socializing

Now i feel like it owe it to myself to be more private about certain things. I'm not talking deep dark secrets, but things similar to what you have mentioned. No point hanging myself out to dry. there are things other people don't know about me, there are things i don't know about them, either.

you've realized you're doing it... you probably have the ability to change it. best of luck

Some people will always need help. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth helping
– Meera Reed

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars; you have a right to be here.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 07:43 AM
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I mean I'm pretty open and try not to hide anything.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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