This is not meant in the religious sense - Does anyone else have this overwhelming need to confess self perceived sins to others - personality faults, dark inner thoughts that make you feel worse about yourself- and do you have any advice on how to deal with this?
... I go through phases of needing to tell people things, admit things about myself - often under the guise of them "Knowing the real me" or "knowing what a bad person I really am". I will tell myself it is for full transparency. Usually, this happens with people I know feel differently about certain issues than I do - my in laws for example, or my husbands co-workers.
It is worse when I see things posted on social media - for example, my brother in law - I am pretty sure he likes me. But he will post something about how people who believe in God are stupid and delusional. I believe in God. Therefore, he is saying I am stupid and delusional. I feel now, stupid and delusional, but still believe in God, so I feel the need to confess my belief to him and let him know that he should respect me less because if A, then B, and he needs to know that I am a person he doesn't like so much after all and maybe I should come around less, because why would he want to be around someone he views in such a way.... it goes on and on. It could be about anything. Again, that was just an example.
These things keep me up at night. I know this is related to OCD, however, I do not have any of the other OCD issues and have never been diagnosed as such. This is my one OCD issue, so I am wondering if it is more related to just general self loathing and creating a self fulfilling prophecy where people don't like me in the end, and I knew it all along.
I should note, after confessing whatever it is...that I am probably a terrible mother, that I don't like the Twilight books, that I don't support this or that issue... whatever it is, I feel better. So the confession leads to some anxiety relief.....
"My cat can eat a whole watermelon." Rubin, Rubin and Ed, 1991