How do you react when someone gives you a compliment? I actually feel embarrassed
when someone says something nice about me, to the point where I will do anything in my power to avoid seeing that person again simply because I can't stand the idea that I will fail to live up to whatever expectations I imagine he or she has of me.
For example, if someone tells me that I look pretty, I thank him or her and then, if at all possible, I make sure that either we never see each other again or that our encounters are always very brief. If I absolutely must see this person again, I spend extra time preparing for the occasion -- putting on even more makeup than I usually wear, brushing my hair, picking out clothes, etc. -- because now that I know for sure that s/he is paying attention to my appearance, I feel that I can't afford to look less than perfect
. This, however, never works because no matter how much time I spend preparing, I still feel unbearably self-conscious and inadequate when we meet again, and I make up a thousand excuses to avoid talking to him/her: I could say something stupid, I might have bad breath, I shouldn't have worn this top, What if I have something stuck between my teeth?
I worry so much about disappointing people that I don't allow myself to get to know anyone!!!