Awkward group moments - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-14-2009, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
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Awkward group moments


Ok, this doesn't really have much to do with SA, but I didn't know where else to post it

Anyway, I'm confused about what I should do when I'm with a group of people and they're talking about something I know nothing about. For example, I don't really watch tv, and many times people talk about stuff they've seen on tv. So usually I end up standing there, feeling pretty dumb for not saying anything. And if it's a long conversation... well, you get the picture.

Another problem I have is when everybody starts laughing, besides me (which, strangely enough, usually happens in situations I've described above). I have no idea who to look at or what to do Does anyone else go through these things, and if so, what do you usually do?
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-14-2009, 02:59 PM
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If you're not following along with what people in the group are talking about, then find others who you have things in common with. It's very simple, don't hang out with people cause you feel like you need to..

Also don't pretend to laugh at something, basically I'm just saying be honest with yourself.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-14-2009, 03:12 PM
 
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yap happens to me all the time usually on sports and tv topics. because yeah i dont watch much tv and i dont know much about sports and damn it hard to laugh on things you just dont get.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-14-2009, 11:36 PM
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There is a way where you won't be left out. What you can do is to ask questions about what they are talking about. That will usually get them describing it, and then that will usually bring up even more discussion about it or it will lead off into something else. For your situation they probably would've told you that you need to start watching it because it's a good show. You still won't feel like you're in the inner circle of the discussion, but you'll feel more involved and the group will notice that.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-15-2009, 05:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6 View Post
There is a way where you won't be left out. What you can do is to ask questions about what they are talking about. That will usually get them describing it, and then that will usually bring up even more discussion about it or it will lead off into something else. For your situation they probably would've told you that you need to start watching it because it's a good show. You still won't feel like you're in the inner circle of the discussion, but you'll feel more involved and the group will notice that.
I've tried this once or twice with the guys at work but they mostly just dismiss me as an idiot for not knowing anything, *meh*.

No one will talk to me, they tend to go. Their faces say there's something I should know
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-15-2009, 09:48 AM
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It worked well for me. I guess it depends on the people you're talking with in the group.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-15-2009, 11:49 AM
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happen to me all the times.i don't know wat they laugh,talk or jokes.i feel so bored and uncomfortable being with peoples.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-15-2009, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jblazer View Post
If you're not following along with what people in the group are talking about, then find others who you have things in common with. It's very simple, don't hang out with people cause you feel like you need to..

Also don't pretend to laugh at something, basically I'm just saying be honest with yourself.
Yeah, true, but I was thinking more of situations in which you don't have a choice in who to hang out with (like at work, etc.). And yeah, I don't pretend to laugh at things I don't find funny... I couldn't even if I wanted to

Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6 View Post
There is a way where you won't be left out. What you can do is to ask questions about what they are talking about. That will usually get them describing it, and then that will usually bring up even more discussion about it or it will lead off into something else. For your situation they probably would've told you that you need to start watching it because it's a good show. You still won't feel like you're in the inner circle of the discussion, but you'll feel more involved and the group will notice that.
I do this sometimes. Sometimes it works and other times people are so caught up in their conversation that they won't bother to pause and respond to my question, lol.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-15-2009, 12:12 PM
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What I usually end up doing is getting defensive. I act bored when people are talking about what I am not familiar with, like exaggeratedly bored - so that perhaps they'll switch subjects. And when the group laughs, I look at them like they are crazy, like, whatever it is, just isn't funny and they are the stupid ones for laughing. I don't recommend this however. Just my personal crappy defense mechanism.

"Change your thoughts and you change your world." -Norman Vincent Peale
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-15-2009, 12:41 PM
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I never knew, and still don't know how to deal with these situations. I'd normally just go quiet or try and keep the conversation away from me until the subject changes.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-15-2009, 01:27 PM
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Ask questions. That's what I do. (i.e. What channel is that show on? ,etc). Sometimes I don't know what people are talking about either, but asking questions is how you find out about what they are interested in.

"Live right now- just be yourself.
Doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else." - Jimmy Eat World
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