I didn't always feel this way.
It's only been in my time online, maybe the past 15 years, that it's finally occurred to me that the only common denominator in all my failed friendships and negative social interactions, online and off, has been me. I still clearly recall how enthusiastic and optimistic I felt when embarking on new friendships, and how hurt and confused I felt when the other party decided, either after years of what I'd thought was a good relationship or mere days, that they weren't interested in my friendship after all, and often they were quite spiteful about it.
"You can't always be the sun in everyone else's sky!" one new friend snapped at me after I expressed discouragement when SHE forwarded the same e-mail saying that she no longer had time to e-mail and wanted to switch to snail mail...to over a dozen people. (Interestingly, I soon after came across her again posting on a penpal site soliciting more
"I've had to drop a lot of friends from my life!" snapped another person I'd actually been casual friends with for several years, after we reestablished contact and she'd cheerfully promised to soon respond to a long e-mail I sent her. (After I'd waited for weeks, then found her, too, asking in her journal for people to mail her because she was bored/lonely, and reminded her of my e-mail, first her girlfriend, then she herself went off on me for thinking I was so important to deserve a reply, even though she'd said she planned to send one...I wasn't even important enough to be informed I was one of those "friends she'd had to drop," I guess. Yet she was looking for more friends anyway.)
There was a penpal girl I didn't even get the chance to become friends with...I replied to her ad, she replied enthusiastically, I wrote again, but didn't hear back...shortly after, I saw somebody with a different e-mail address post the same penpal ad, still seeking friends
...I contacted her again, "Hi, not sure if you remember me but I mailed you before at a different address and I thought we hit it off, maybe you lost my e-mail, are you still interested in penpalling?"...but again, never heard back...I guess I just wasn't the friend any of these people were looking for. I don't know why they first responded as if I was, though.
Then there was the guy I was good online friends with for years, then he just stopped writing and ignored me when he was online, never even got an explanation...and the guy who told me he couldn't be friends with me anymore because I wasn't spontaneous enough, but then stalked and harassed me online under numerous alt accounts ("You're the one who needs to get laid, you indefatigable crybaby, then you'll REALLY have something worth writing about!") for a year before moving on...and the girl whose e-mails fizzled out after a few years, she said her "social anxiety" prevented her from replying to me, yet I saw her chumming around on Facebook all the time with her other online friends and new IRL friends and the fiance she'd never even told me about...etc....
No different IRL, two people who expressed interest in getting in touch or meeting up with me in person then promptly backed out or outright stood me up, because they were "too busy" or "didn't feel comfortable meeting one on one" (then why did they agree to do so?)...even the best friend I'd ever had did the same, after years out of touch she contacted me on Facebook (I was so thrilled to hear from her again), told me how great her life was now, brushed off my hints that mine wasn't going so well and I'd like us to be friends again, then said she was sorry but she had no time to keep in touch due to job, family...I saw her online every day afterward, busy playing Facebook games with her other friends...etc.
Almost all of my school friends (I had no other type of friend) promptly moved on and moved away after graduation, leaving no way to stay in touch, and not seeming to care. Only one friend expressed interest in getting back in touch long after school ended...and her letters petered out with no explanation, too. The last two or three times we've run into each other in public she insisted (albeit rather awkwardly/uncomfortably) that she wanted us to get back in touch but she never replied to my last letter or two e-mails, so...I give up, don't know what else I could do.
This is just a small sample. Something about me just rubs the vast majority of people the wrong way. Doesn't matter how much we have in common or who contacts whom first. Oddly, I usually contacted likeminded people first, things would start out well, then I wouldn't hear from them anymore; whereas the people who reached out to me first usually had nothing in common with me but said they found me "interesting" (I would warn them I'm actually not), yet they soon realized how boring I am to write to, and communication would fizzle out (often after they expressed some disappointment that I wasn't as interesting and chatty as they'd assumed I was)...with just one exception (I've managed to make and keep ONE online friend, though I don't know what she sees in me), the result was always the same.
For ages I agonized over what I was doing wrong. Obviously I was doing something wrong? I begged to know what. My former therapist, and others, gave advice on how to properly make friends. Thing was, I'd already followed all the steps they suggested. I'd been doing everything right, at least to the best of my ability. They were puzzled when I outlined what I'd done, and had no more advice for me. So I wasn't even necessarily doing it wrong, it was just...something about ME, personally, that must turn everyone off.
I'm not imagining it. It's not just with friendships, either, just people I interact with in general. There have been LOTS of people I really liked and admired, only to learn later on that they've despised me all along. I've even had a couple of people tell me, in all sincerity and without malice (and seeming perplexed by it, themselves), that they hate me without knowing why.