Are you still afraid of the opposite sex? - Page 5 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #81 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-06-2019, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Moses Chol View Post
I'm just curious has anyone overcame their SA of the opposite (OR same) sex?
I'm a male and have bad SA around girls. It's hard for me to just have a regular convo with females. With guys i virtually feel zero anxiety and say whatever i want. I have never had a real female friend, only guy friends.
Have you overcame or improved fear of opposite (OR same) sex? This goes for men and women with this problem
Hey Moses. one thing a lot of shy people aren't aware of is that the typical person that is pretty good at socializing gets rejected a lot. Especially those people that you think can always get a girl or boyfriend. What you don't know is that they don't care much about rejection, so they're able to talk to many different potential partners until they find someone that works with them. And that is the key, finding someone that fits with you. If you only talk to one girl for example, get rejected and never try again, think of all the girls that you would have talked to. You only need one out of all of them to say yes.

But shy people have a hard time with that right, because rejection hurts too much. So the main thing I have noticed is that there are some girls/people that I can connect with, and some I can't. So you need to be on the look out for someone that you fit with. Again thats going to be very hard if you don't go out and meet people. You don't have a sister or female cousin that you talk to? Its no different, you just talk to any girl the same way. And if you fit on a romantic level, that part will all just come naturally. And don't try to plan out anything, just go with the flow.

Also don't try to impress anyone, or try to get them interested in you. Just approach anyone like you just want them as a friend, and if you fit with them romantically, the connection will begin. If you get friend zoned, then thats a new friend you have. She will also have friends that might be into you. Just don't get caught up on one girl, and find the one that fits with you.

Key word is fit. If someone doesn't want to be with you, that doesn't mean something is wrong with you. That just means you and that person are not a fit. Hope that helps
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post #82 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 12:14 AM
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I experience anxiety around all sexes. Lol.

But I'm more anxious around guys. I can talk to them if they initiate with me but even then I'm guarded and feel awkward.

My work have technicians and most of the guys are Caucasian "Aussie" types and me being an unattractive Asian girl would feel anxious around them.

I do want to say hi etc but feel shy. And some of them are nice but I feel awkward.
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