Are you still afraid of the opposite sex? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 06:04 PM
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post #42 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 06:12 PM
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I feel the pretty much same around anyone. I don't bother myself to be something for someone, especially women, I don't try to be attractive, I don't want them, I don't need them and I don't even expect to catch their interest... Can't say if that can help, but at this point I just don't care and feel less pressure...

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post #43 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 10:24 PM Thread Starter
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I'm more comfortable with the opposite sex than my own. With females its easier to talk about deeper subjects and its being able to connect on a deeper level that feels good. It's much harder to do that with another guy unless they want the same thing.
Damn you are a fking lucky guy i wish i was you. Being easy around girls make getting relationships so easy (right?)...Being a male myself - i don't feel anxiety around guys (just a little) and i don't care about being friends with them. Do girls friendzone you alot? in otherwords do you have trouble escalating things with them romantically or sexually...
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post #44 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 10:26 PM Thread Starter
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So it seems no one here has overcame their fear of a gender.
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post #45 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2018, 01:23 AM
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I do, but sometimes it just depends on the situation.
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post #46 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2018, 11:11 AM
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Not at all. I find women to be much easier to talk to than men. This was not always so. Now, I'm not referring to dating or socializing...those things are still very difficult for me, but just passing the time talking about nothing is easier with women. Much of this is because I'm not working and don't enjoy most of the usual male sportsball stuff, which seems to occupy about 92% of maie-male conversation. Since I can't explain to man what I 'do' and can't speak of what the ball club is up to, its essentially useless to try to interact.

My wife works, so I've essentially taken the role of a stay-at-home mom, so why wouldn't I be better to relate to women in a similar capacity?
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post #47 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2018, 05:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Moses Chol View Post
So it seems no one here has overcame their fear of a gender.
To clarify, I am okay with talking to women as friends, but any more intimate and I get scared away easily, depending on the situation. Any enlightening tips to share?

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post #48 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2018, 09:21 PM Thread Starter
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To clarify, I am okay with talking to women as friends, but any more intimate and I get scared away easily, depending on the situation. Any enlightening tips to share?
I meant people who are scared to talk to opposite gender in a normal conversaion (not intimate(. I want to know someone who got over this fear so it can inspire me. I really want this fear of talking to women to leave cos it makes it hard to date them. I don't have a problem talking to women intimately, i can approach any girl and not have much anxiety but when the conversation starts to become normal (non-intimate) i start to get alot of anxiety. It doesn't matter if the girl is unattractive, i still i get anxiety.
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post #49 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2018, 10:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Moses Chol View Post
I meant people who are scared to talk to opposite gender in a normal conversaion (not intimate(. I want to know someone who got over this fear so it can inspire me. I really want this fear of talking to women to leave cos it makes it hard to date them. I don't have a problem talking to women intimately, i can approach any girl and not have much anxiety but when the conversation starts to become normal (non-intimate) i start to get alot of anxiety. It doesn't matter if the girl is unattractive, i still i get anxiety.
Ah, I see! Try finding women with similar interests to yourself and try to open up about them. The conversation usually goes better when you and the woman have something in common that you both enjoy doing.

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post #50 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2018, 10:39 PM
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Afraid? No. Indifferent? Perhaps.

To answer the question specifically. I'm not seeking companionship at the moment so women are not really occupying the forefront of my thoughts. I can talk with women casually but I would prefer not to talk to anyone if I could; man or woman.

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post #51 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-03-2018, 05:43 PM
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Are you still afraid of the opposite sex?


The way I am around attractive women has been the same since my teens without question, it’s rather sad
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post #52 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-04-2018, 07:18 AM
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Every day of my life lol and I was raised by, grew up with them, I even managed to have a 3 year romantic/sexual relationship with a woman (shocking for a guy with SA, she had SA too) and I managed after that to develop emotionally intimate connections with a few women that didn't go where I hoped it would, but I still get petrified of the idea of randomly approaching them, and even at my age my grandmother still terrifies me.

She has always been a huge dominate controlling figure in my life and she still has a way of making me feel like that little boy from my past. I have one platonic best female friend, (who is sort of my wing woman, best girl-Friend)and sometimes even talking to her scares me cause I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing and she'll end the friendship.

I'm always afraid of how they are going to react to me, I still worry about what they are thinking of me, what if I say this wrong or do that wrong, no matter if its a female relative, a platonic friend, a woman I'm attracted to, a woman I'm not so attracted to, connecting with females still makes me but I love em and can't stay away from em.

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post #53 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 12:36 PM
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It's pretty much equal for me (which makes sense, I guess.) I can get intimidated by certain personalities and become shyer due to that but I wouldn't say it's due to the sex of a person just how they carry themselves and speak. I get nervous during majority of conversations though.

If I'm attracted to someone I get nervous, but I wouldn't say I'm afraid necessarily? just my anxiety can go into over-drive where I overthink what I'm doing, how I'm doing it, & how they view me. Which is kind of really dumb.

Working on building that self-esteem.

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I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
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post #54 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 01:18 PM
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More anxious around men tbh. Women are nicer to me these days. But everyone is basically scared of me, so its never easy to talk to people now.

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post #55 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Moses Chol View Post
I'm just curious has anyone overcame their SA of the opposite (OR same) sex?
I'm a male and have bad SA around girls. It's hard for me to just have a regular convo with females. With guys i virtually feel zero anxiety and say whatever i want. I have never had a real female friend, only guy friends.
Have you overcame or improved fear of opposite (OR same) sex? This goes for men and women with this problem
Hi Moses Chol, I don't have fear of talking to any sex, but I can have insecurities about myself- that's not anxiety. You just have to think of it like they're just the opposite sex w/ a personality just like you and in terms of appearance like what others have talked about it's just a cover. Hope that helps.
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post #56 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 01:56 PM
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Only those I think might like me & be having thoughts of a romantic nature ....I'm bad at that, though I might not be I've never tried.






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post #57 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 01:58 PM
 
 
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Kind of. Friendly encounters... I am less comfortable with guys than girls but I can still interact with them and be comfortable-ish. Depending on how masculine and aggressive the guy is, I can become threatened and automatically go on the defense. So I don't get along well with domineering types.

Romantic encounters make me extremely uncomfortable. My anxiety is excruciating even. Due to my issues I don't think I will ever be able to date a guy romantically. I'm too paranoid about certain stuff. I don't think I am afraid of them in that I'm afraid that they will do something to me, but I'm afraid of myself being in that relationship if that makes sense.
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post #58 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 02:14 PM
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If they don't show sexual interest I can talk "normal". Whenever I start to smell some sexual interest I turn my head away and start to scratch air like a fighting cat and kick his *** off verbally.

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post #59 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 02:20 PM
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As friends, sure. I find myself quite comfortable around men. When it comes to flirting though I cringe and avoid the subject. Not always been the case. I'm just a little more shy than I'd like to be.

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post #60 of 83 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 02:28 PM
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I think it depends on the kind of person. But few woman I came across were more understanding and easy to talk to. So normal conversation wouldn't be a problem with a woman. It's an entirely different thing when it comes to someone I am attracted to. I wouldn't initiate conversation with them. But I barely interact with people, so it wouldn't matter anyway.

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