Are you still afraid of the opposite sex? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-27-2018, 10:02 AM
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I dislike their presence. People in general make me uncomfortable but young males especially so, I don't want to be anywhere near them or talk to them at all. Seeing them in packs is a nightmare, hearing their laughs and annoying speak triggers my gag reflex
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post #22 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-27-2018, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by tehuti88 View Post
...And there it is. "Why are you women anxious about anything?--you don't have to do any of the hard work of socializing, people will just come to you!" I guess we don't really suffer from SA, either...

This is why I usually refrain from answering the threads of male users I'm unfamiliar with, especially when they discuss gender. (Re: the judgement from guys I mentioned earlier, guess my post was missed. It's standard for unfamiliar guys to ignore me when I mention such things.) I was dumb, thought this thread wouldn't be like that. My bad. Again.

Bolded: That really isn't true for many unattractive, socially anxious women, you know. Guys don't bother very much to approach us. (IRL, no guys have EVER approached me with sincere interest once in my life. And in almost 20 years online, maybe two or three guys have expressed interest in me...and each one of them was merely joking at my expense. They ridiculed me for taking them seriously.) And if we bother approaching them, they either ignore us, or express pity ("You're not my type, but I'm sure somebody will like you") or outright disgust. (I've lost count of how many SA/FA guys have ridiculed and trolled me. But I have hundreds of screen captures.)


Feel free to ignore or disbelieve me, I'm used to that by now.
I 100% believe you. I've been enlightened to the millionth degree with a person I met. I know exactly what you're talking about because the person I'm friends with now has expressed what you're saying so much. And my empathy for them has raised my level of awareness to spidey level senses. I just wished this friend was more capable of accepting me fully, but it's been a mixed bag as complex life can be with this persons SA.
I want to believe you'll find someone. The world can't be full of 100% completely worthless people to those of us with certain social difficulties.

"There's a fine line between the peacefulness of solitude and the loneliness of isolation."
- Dr. Hill, Until Dawn
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post #23 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-27-2018, 05:08 PM Thread Starter
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it's not that crazy if you only ever had a few friends. am i a guy? that's a good question.
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post #24 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-27-2018, 07:21 PM
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Not really - although my wife can be scary if she hasn't had enough sleep.
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post #25 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-27-2018, 09:43 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the response guys. I'm not nerdy guy, i like to dress good and look stylish. Most people think i have no problem with girls.
I get nervous around unattractive and attractive girls in normal convos, doesn't matter how they look.
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post #26 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-27-2018, 11:16 PM
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what's awkward? are you Indian?

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post #27 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-28-2018, 03:38 AM
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The opposite sex is afraid of me.

In science, ideology tends to corrupt; absolute ideology [corrupts] absolutely" - Robert Nisbet
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post #28 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-28-2018, 05:00 AM
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I still feel anxiety towards both. But surprisingly I'm more nervous around other guys than women. I'm not really sure why either.
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post #29 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-28-2018, 05:13 AM
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Always, it's why I carry condoms.
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post #30 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-28-2018, 07:38 AM
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I think girls can be easier to get along with if they're not psycho.

Other guys on the other hand always try to puff their chest out around me for some reason as if everything is a competition. I'm not trying to gloat, but I'm a pretty tall and strong guy and whenever that's evident to other men, they try to compete and show off with me over everything. I think it's disingenuous and annoying, so I dont really like hanging out with other guys because of it.
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post #31 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-28-2018, 08:50 AM
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I think girls can be easier to get along with if they're not psycho.

Other guys on the other hand always try to puff their chest out around me for some reason as if everything is a competition. I'm not trying to gloat, but I'm a pretty tall and strong guy and whenever that's evident to other men, they try to compete and show off with me over everything. I think it's disingenuous and annoying, so I dont really like hanging out with other guys because of it.
Maybe that's why it bothers me. I've had more bad experiences with other dudes than women. Especially if there's alcohol involved. I've had guys try to make a complete fool out of me when I had not said nor done anything to them.
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post #32 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-28-2018, 10:15 AM Thread Starter
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what's awkward? are you Indian?
I've never seen an Indian with a christian name. I'm african (raised in US)
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post #33 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-28-2018, 10:27 AM
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People in general make me uncomfortable or anxious some more than others. I guess this is slightly more true with women in general though. I care less what guys think and even though many guys are annoying, most of my worst experiences with people have been with women.
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post #34 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 06:48 AM
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I'm scared/anxious around men but it doesn't really have that much to do with social anxiety. its more about traumatic experiences I've had
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post #35 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 07:16 AM
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I'm more comfortable with the opposite sex than my own. With females its easier to talk about deeper subjects and its being able to connect on a deeper level that feels good. It's much harder to do that with another guy unless they want the same thing.
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post #36 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 07:19 AM
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I would say fear of rejection rather than the opposite sex.If we are rejected we maybe emotional crashed for months.Sa people are very vulnerable to rejection and criticism.Then there are practical problems like how we are going to interact and flirt with her when most of us lack basic social skills and how we are going to act socially on a date when we rarely leave the house and how are going to perform sexually when we have limited sexual partners.It is not the opposite sex that we fear,it is our own social handicaps.

There is no cure for social anxiety only remission and relapse.
It seems the only way for some sa members to feel good about themselves is to insult other sa members.It gives them a sense of superiority and satisfaction that could never have in their real lives.
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post #37 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 07:33 AM
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post #38 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 12:44 PM
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I usually cut them into pieces quite a fast. That might be fight or escape-tactic. I have a lot of bad experiences and I think I am self-protective.

No, I don't speak English and that is a secret of my happiness!
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post #39 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 01:37 PM
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I have a strong fear of women, especially when I am attracted to them. Around other guys it's more a fear of being ridiculed or shamed, but with women it's a paralyzing fear that stems from feeling inferior and uninteresting.

I don't think I'll ever get over it. At no point in my life have I ever been comfortable around girls, and I probably never will be. To illustrate, I even struggle with saying "hi" to women. It's pretty ridiculous.

Everybody wants to go to heaven
But nobody wants to die
I can't fear death, no longer
I've died a thousand times
Why explore the universe
When we don't know ourselves?
There's an emptiness inside our heads
That no one dares to dwell
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post #40 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-29-2018, 06:02 PM
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Uh, yeah, especially the crazy ones. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

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