Are you good with kids? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 06:39 AM Thread Starter
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Are you good with kids?


Hi, I couldn`t find a thread about this, so here we go.

I recently moved to the same city as my sister and that means we will be seeing more to one another, that is great. However she has kids, and im just so awkward around them that I really dread going over there. As a grown up, and especially as they`r aunt, i`m kinda expected to be engaging with them, but it doesnt come naturally to me at all, I dont even want kids myself.

So yes I can ask them stuff and put up a smile but its not spontaneous and also the parents watching me interact with them is just so awkward. I know i am overthinking it very much, but I havent really accepted the situation and giving into it, so I keep resist. Anyways, any one that can relate to this and does anyone have any tips? Im really not the "get on the floor" and play person, and unfortunately that makes me seem a little cold and not interested, I dont want to be, but its just the way it is
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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 06:59 AM
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Despite having worked with kids/young people, I'm not particularly 'good' with them. I don't do baby talk, I don't have a good sense of what is age-appropriate and I refuse to position myself as a figure of authority. In the end it just confuses the hell out of a child and makes everyone feel awkward. Some of the time. On the other hand, kids appreciate my honesty and I love to play games, so we can hang out. But when we play, I kind of do it for myself and don't respond to their needs necessarily - so we could get into an argument because I want the doll to sit in a different car or something stupid like that, they insist, I dig my heels in and it's just going nowhere -_-

But you don't have to be good with kids, you're not applying for a job as a nanny. Some people get a bit offended if you don't think their offspring are amazing and coo over them but most are not necessarily looking at you for that. They're looking at their kid - to see how they meet you and how they interact. Chances are, your sister just sees different parts of her world meeting and is hoping that you and the kid get along ok.

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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 07:04 AM
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Very good. Idk that I want to work with them again though.

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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 07:47 AM
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No. I'm very easily annoyed. Especially by excessive noise or activity.
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 08:50 AM
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From experience, nope. I've avoided and escaped younger cousins as long as I remember. Kids are crazy, man. Maybe it's better if they're teenagers since that's when they start having more complex thoughts and are more likely to understand my jokes. Or not, 'cause most teenagers are just the worst people that ever lived. So uh, I'm sticking with no for most of them.

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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 09:42 AM
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Some people naturally have a Maternal/Parental instinct or naturally like kids and some people don't. Not everyone is great with kids, I don't have any scientific data about why some people are better with kids than others just seems to be the way it is. Take notice of their environment, what do you they like to play with, what tv show are they watching, books are they reading and say something like that looks fun or wow awesome picture (idk) find a connection.

Am I good with kids? Uhm it varies, sometimes yeah sometimes no. It depends on the kid. Some kids take to me some kids don't. I can handle quiet, cute kids but put me in a room with noisy obnoxious little cretins and I'll go out of my head

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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 10:37 AM
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I'm too terrified of kids to know if I'm any good with them or not.

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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 10:43 AM
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I don't have the fun bubbly personality that most people develop around kids. I have the patience for kids, and externally I can be pretty decent with them. But internally, I don't want the full 24hr responsiblity. It's exhausting.

As far as jobs, I worked in pediatrics for a bit and I just felt like I had to pretend to be more energetic. It's like I had to constantly be acting. No thanks lol
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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 11:15 AM
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Yes I am, especially my sister's kid(s). Otherwise, I'd be like you with strangers kids, but sometimes even with strangers kids I let my inner child loose. Find your inner child inside you and use it to interact with your sister's kids. I guess that's what I do, oh and also I am a Wendy and I love to mother people. Maybe you can be a Wendy too, just for mothering your own inner child and you sister's kids.

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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 12:41 PM
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Not really, I could be, I just haven't the interest or energy for it, kids seem to like me ok, I'm just not a fan of racket or noise or something wanting my attention 24/7, my brothers child when it's here is usually either wailing it's head off or pooping itself, no thanks.

My family tries to get me to interact with it though, my mother & sisters go way overboard with the attention, I'm like can we just put it in a box or cage like a rabbit or something






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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
Not really, I could be, I just haven't the interest or energy for it, kids seem to like me ok, I'm just not a fan of racket or noise or something wanting my attention 24/7, my brothers child when it's here is usually either wailing it's head off or pooping itself, no thanks.

My family tries to get me to interact with it though, my mother & sisters go way overboard with the attention, I'm like can we just put it in a box or cage like a rabbit or something <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>
You calling the kid "it" lol
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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by aqwsderf View Post
You calling the kid "it" lol
True, I guess I don't actually see it as a person, more as some sort of goblin, "him" it's a him &#x1f642;






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 01:44 PM
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I haven't had to deal with kids for ages but I'd probably be okay. They can be very sweet - especially when they're little - there's an innocence that I really love and no self-consciousness or bull****.

There's a reason we have them while we're still young though - you need a fair bit of energy, so I'd probably get exhausted nowadays if I had to do much for long.

Also, obviously - it's very different when they're you're kids. That changes everything and you find the energy or whatever else you need.
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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 03:21 PM
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Same flat affect and constrained demeanor as with every other age group.
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 03:29 PM
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Depends on the mood I'm in. If I've gotten a good night sleep, I'm feeling OK (not depressed or anxious) and if the kid isn't a brat I can be pretty good with them.

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post #16 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 03:42 PM
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Oddly enough yes, which is funny since I'm 100% sure I never want kids. One of my friends whose youngest son loves hanging around me says it's because I don't treat him like a kid. Makes sense since I don't really know how to act around them so I just treat them like adults.
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post #17 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 04:07 PM
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I avoid interacting with children because I don't want people to think I'm a predator. As older, gender-nonconforming males are often assumed to be. If I'd ever had the chance to have kids, I probably would have, though. I think I'd make a good parent. I'm still a kid at heart.

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post #18 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 05:36 PM
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Very good. I don't know why, but kids trust me right away and they gravitate to me easily.

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post #19 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 06:04 PM
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Not at all. I hate having to deal with kids; I'd rather just ignore them outright. Which is a part of why I'd never want any even if I did manage to find a partner. I especially hate babies and toddlers -- where everyone else coos over them, I think they're almost always noisy, stinky and ugly. We've got two toddlers living in the house behind us who scream and yell all day sometimes and it drives me nuts. I especially hate when I take our dog out and one of the kids tries to get my attention; I usually just ignore it so I don't have to deal with it.

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post #20 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-31-2020, 08:57 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SwtSurrender View Post
Yes I am, especially my sister's kid(s). Otherwise, I'd be like you with strangers kids, but sometimes even with strangers kids I let my inner child loose. Find your inner child inside you and use it to interact with your sister's kids. I guess that's what I do, oh and also I am a Wendy and I love to mother people. Maybe you can be a Wendy too, just for mothering your own inner child and you sister's kids.
Thats the thing, I dont have an inner child so it wont work, however my heart opens when im with a dog, then its happens instantly, so I guess im a more of a dog person
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