Are You Getting Better or Worse? - Page 4 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #61 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-07-2019, 02:47 AM
Elle Knight
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post
Let's see:

-I hide myself when someone visits our house
-I find excuses whenever I need to go out the house
-I've convinced my dad not to do some changes in the house because I said it's too expensive, the real reason I don't want changes is because a stranger needs to come in and do them :-s, I can't stand the embarrassment when that random guy notices a 36 year old still lives with his parents and has no job
-A niece just had a baby, I didn't congratulate her and I will surely find an excuse not to attend her baby shower.
-Random thoughts during the day about friends' weddings or family funerals that will surely come one day make me feel terribly anxious for a couple of days because I actually need to attend them, no excuses possible...
-Random stuff I suddenly remember, for example people, thinking about how much of a loser I am compared to them. They must be light years ahead of me in "life". I still live like a student except now I don't even meet people anymore. I eat, I sleep, I watch tv or watch internet stuff, I take a walk and that's it ,every single day for the last 15 years.

I'm so so much worse now than in my twenties. Life gets worse every decade for me. It started fantastic but once I hit 30 it's KO. I want my life to end yet I feel to weak to actually do it
Oh my gosh noooo. I'm sorry. Have you ever tried therapy? Do you think therapy might help you? It's time to take a step away from this cruel monster. You dont have to fly just yet, you can crawl first and then you learn to walk. You cant just sit around and watch it get worse...you can try and talk to someone you TRUST okay? I wish you all the best 🙂
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post #62 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-07-2019, 03:05 AM
Ad astra per aspera.
 
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Much better.

Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #63 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-07-2019, 08:19 AM
Elle Knight
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle Knight View Post
Oh my gosh noooo.
This sentence hit very hard. It acknowledges how much of an oddity and idiot I am. I just wanted you to know that. I guess when I get reactions like this on a SA forum I fully realize how unique (in a very very bad way) I am. It just turns me into a self pitying mess. No hard feelings though, it's not your fault (only mine) that I am who I am.
I'm sorry. The reason I reacted such odd way is because of how you think. I dont want you to think like that. I feel bad and it gives me anxiety because you have anxiety. You are not alone. I used to be really scared to go outside in the yard and I used to just stay in my room all day. I was horrible to look at. So when you say this, it brings me back painful memories and I kinda understand how you're feeling.

Please, dont say that. You are human and that's okay. Everyone starts life at different stages and it's never too late. Look at the President of the US...he became president in his 70's while Obama was in 40's, 50's?? You can try something? Or talk to someone? It doesnt have to be a therapist. Or you can prolly brainstorm about stuff that you think spark a little curiosity?
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post #64 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-07-2019, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post
Let's see:

-I hide myself when someone visits our house
-I find excuses whenever I need to go out the house
-I've convinced my dad not to do some changes in the house because I said it's too expensive, the real reason I don't want changes is because a stranger needs to come in and do them :-s, I can't stand the embarrassment when that random guy notices a 36 year old still lives with his parents and has no job
-A niece just had a baby, I didn't congratulate her and I will surely find an excuse not to attend her baby shower.
-Random thoughts during the day about friends' weddings or family funerals that will surely come one day make me feel terribly anxious for a couple of days because I actually need to attend them, no excuses possible...
-Random stuff I suddenly remember, for example people, thinking about how much of a loser I am compared to them. They must be light years ahead of me in "life". I still live like a student except now I don't even meet people anymore. I eat, I sleep, I watch tv or watch internet stuff, I take a walk and that's it ,every single day for the last 15 years.

I'm so so much worse now than in my twenties. Life gets worse every decade for me. It started fantastic but once I hit 30 it's KO. I want my life to end yet I feel to weak to actually do it
I can relate to what you are saying.

We have many common points. My life is also getting worse every year. I still had a few friends in my early twenties. After I ended university, it was over. I started to work and stopped going out.

For the last 5 years, my life can be broken down like this : wake up, go to work, come back home, eat, go to bed.

And, unlike for you, there is no way out. Absolutely none. Suicide is out of question. As a Cartholic, there is no way for me to do something like that.

So I am stuck and simply keep "surviving" hoping for a last tomorrow

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #65 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-07-2019, 03:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EndTimes View Post
I can relate to what you are saying.

We have many common points. My life is also getting worse every year. I still had a few friends in my early twenties. After I ended university, it was over. I started to work and stopped going out.

For the last 5 years, my life can be broken down like this : wake up, go to work, come back home, eat, go to bed.

And, unlike for you, there is no way out. Absolutely none. Suicide is out of question. As a Cartholic, there is no way for me to do something like that.

So I am stuck and simply keep "surviving" hoping for a last tomorrow
Have you ever looked into a meetup group for people with anxiety and/or other mental health issues?

You might still feel anxious going at first but I can guarantee there would be people in situations there that might not be a lot different to yours - in fact you would probably be seen as successful because you have a great job and career. A lot of people in them can't or don't work.
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