Are You Getting Better or Worse? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 09:26 PM
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Not sure if getting worse or nowhere at all... But definitely not better...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #42 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 09:55 PM
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It varies from day to day. The past week I have gotten worse. Today I’ve gotten significantly worse.

"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it." - Benjamin Mee
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post #43 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 02:29 AM
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this email composed for 2 worthy recipients on whom i depend

major disappointment, depressed beyond description

food considered Sun but closed tight time window 10-4 evaluating whole day full 4-wheel mobility to enjoy. stayed at home. = jail + hospital scenario virtual
retry this morning successfully but aware of severely no knowledge of what food. 4 bare items sussed. nothing i want, ever. all wasting time. 5.03

important laughing at restrictions. no vendor has anything i want. sick of same old menu. time spent at supermarkets using 4 or 2 wheeled transit, all bent to what's offered.. SOLD OUT... peasants have no concept how almighty powers govern the population. must use comedy about lack of availability: food. job. anything. nothing. controlled, whipped away from survivors.

always sensible to cut, draft this mail. embarrassing if sent. much more above this text. based on junk email financial services advertising campaign using crafty meerkat images. fwd'd

society sickens me. capitalism a major component. any other reasons, tactics go ignored

our life window betwixt birth + death. 1970s or earlier life was better? in future? all lost. luck reigns. luck should be global religion.
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post #44 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 05:11 AM
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Better. I have such a great group of supportive friends that I've been debating leaving this place since I can just talk to them. I also don't think I have social anxiety anymore and my issues are more trauma-related or job-related, but I know I'll be fine in time.

"Quiet, yet wild.
Rough, and yet
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post #45 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 08:37 AM
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I guess both.

There are some days where I feel really confident and it reflects on my performance during that day. Then there are other days where that isn't the case....

If something bad happens during the week, that usually puts me down for the whole week and I don't really bounce up right away.

In some regards, I am improving but in others, I am the same if not worse. For example, I'm speaking out more with coworkers but I'm still not really "friends" with any of them.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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post #46 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 08:45 AM
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Originally Posted by That Random Guy View Post

If something bad happens during the week, that usually puts me down for the whole week and I don't really bounce up right away.

I'm like:something bad happens, feel crappy for 1-2 weeks, during which something else bad happens and I feel crappy for 1-2 weeks, ad infinitum. So "bad things" accumulate. Meh whatever
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post #47 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 01:52 PM
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post #48 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 01:55 PM
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My social anxiety or my life in general? Two different stories.
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post #49 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 03:10 PM
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I've been trying to better myself academically alot, but haven't been bothering socially-wise. I'm worried that at this point my social skills are so permanently stunted to the point I've become incredibly socially awkward. I was asking someone for information at school, and they said have a nice day, so I had just turned out when I had already walked away and just said "Mhm". There's been some other instances like that where I had some really weird spontaneous responses/reactions, like telling a waiter "You too" after they told me to enjoy my food, or saying "Yeah" when I'm the first one saying something.

"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."

"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."

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post #50 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by komorikun View Post
My social anxiety or my life in general? Two different stories.
We appear to have plenty of time to read them both.

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post #51 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-03-2019, 04:46 PM
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I'm worse. I have anxiety and depression all the time. I crave social interaction but don't know how to get out there and do it. I once had an anxiety attack giving directions to an elderly couple. I wrote an apology letter that can never be delivered. That makes my insides numb. I thought I was getting better for a short while. Then a slow spiral I didn't notice right away. I was having bad days mixed in with reasonably good ones and didn't notice when the bad took over. Then the plummet. I feel like crying most days, but most often can't. I don't know why.
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post #52 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-03-2019, 05:19 PM
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Worse on all fronts of the war effort.

And it shames me that I'm pretty much back to where I was ten years ago in life.

I've gained tons of life experience and met the most amazing person. Had been working and forcing hard to make it to this one particular point where I needed to be to finally start being okay.
Then I lost everything yet again. Now I struggle to function.

SA-wise, I went from very socially anxious to getting better to severe social anxiety to forcing everything anyway with enormous effort to barely able to function, and now pretty much in total isolation and agoraphobic. Stepping one foot outside makes my skin crawl, my entire body shake uncontrollably, and the thought of it is mortifying. Yet, it's by far not the biggest thing on my plate, so at times, I do force. Simply because something else is way worse, so whatever now.

I am not my rosy self
Left my roses on my shelf
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post #53 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 07:01 AM
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I feel like I am about to die. My anxiety is spewing out really badly. I feel physically sick. I have school and I feel like I am dying.
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post #54 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 11:46 AM
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much worse
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post #55 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:19 PM
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I'd say in many ways I'm considerably worse. Plus there are added complications now.
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post #56 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:49 PM
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I dont know im getting better or worse. Sometimes it feels im getting better then again anxiety is back.cant take any medications either.
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post #57 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:50 PM
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About the same as always. I seemed to be getting better 4 years ago but that didn't last long.
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post #58 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 02:03 PM
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Im tired, cant think of anything and want only to lay my face in your lap, feel your hand on my head and remain like that through all eternity.
― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena
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post #59 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-06-2019, 05:45 PM
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Looking back I guess its generally been getting better, by trying to push my self to do things, but there is always gonna be a bad day too.
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post #60 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-06-2019, 06:18 PM
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I'm much worse in the sense I don't tend to feel the pain I once felt. That might be considered a good thing under ordinary circumstances but not so in mine. Pain has been replaced by something much worse--an inability to feel and a separation from myself. I don't seem to have the energy anymore. Even fantasizing is too taxing. For someone who has depended so heavily on the ability to conjure dreams, this is kind of devastating. And scary. Even though I'm cut off from the fear I am still aware that it's there. This is a new place for me--one I don't recognize and don't know how to escape. I feel like I'm further along the depressive continuum than I've ever been. Insomnia's worse now too. gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

~bad baby

"Daisy, may I ask why you're holding Miss Sybil's biscuit jar?"
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