Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 09:04 AM Thread Starter
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Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


about your anxiety?

I'm not =(

It's not a big deal though. I mean, I'd rather discuss it with someone who has an idea what I'm talking about.

A lot of the time I wish they'd be more understanding, though. My dad acts almost as if my anxiety doesn't exist when he finds out I skipped class. Next time I think I'll tell my mom to make sure she fills him in

My sister doesn't even know about it. it's not something I'm going to tell her during a 10-minute rushed phone conversation that my parents are listening in on (she's not in the same province right now). But I think out of everyone else, she'd be the one to understand, as least a hell of a lot better than anyone I've told so far. She's had anxiety issues too - nothing social, but still. And she's very familiar with chemical imbalances, meds, therapy, etc. etc. so yeah.
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 10:34 AM
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


I talk to my sister about it sometimes, but I don't outright call it "social anxiety." I don't think she really understands the extent of my SA, either.

I haven't talked about it at all to anyone else in my family.
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 12:00 PM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


I'm likle njodis ^. My brother and I talk, but not about the specifics. I mean, I think he even has a bit of SA too, because we both talk about how red our faces get in school, or how nervous we get, but I think mine is to a worser extent. But other than that, I don't go into specifics with anybody. I think my family would be understanding, but I guess I'm just too scared/ashamed/embarassed to admit how I feel.
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 12:57 PM
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


I talk to them (parents and younger sister) about it sometimes, I think they understand. I don't like talking about it to my older sister because I really don't think she understands.
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 01:07 PM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


nope...I don't talk to my parents about anything, really.
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 01:35 PM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


It took a while but my mom finally understands my anxiety. Maybe not 100% but enough that she respects the decisions that I make regarding people. I don't have to explain in full detail anymore as to why I act a certain way in front of strangers.
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 03:29 PM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


Until my depression and anxiety first became very bad for me (i.e. I became suicidal) back in my last year of secondary school, they (and I)were completely ignorant of the phenomenon. Since that dark time, my family has, thankfully, always been empathetic to my difficulties. I regularly to talk to my parents about my emotional condition, actually, because I trust them a lot. I talk to my sister about it too, and she completely understands. In truth, my father is quite well versed in psychology (though he is not a psychologist) and has helped me deconstruct my negative emotions on many occasions.

Some, however, have told me that because I have always had a good relationship with my parents, I did not rebel during my teenage years, and as such, have detachment anxiety because I do not have a solid foundation for taking care of myself on my own, or many practical and worldly social skills. During that time, I subconsciously learnt that my parents were the best resource that I had, as I hated my school and trusted virtually no one there.
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 10:56 AM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


No, my family is pretty ignorant about my social anxiety problem, and it's probably for the best. All my family lives thousands of miles away from me, so they wouldn't really be any sort of support at all, other than over the phone, and I don't think that would help much at all.

Now that I think about it, very few people really know about my anxiety, as I hide it pretty well at work, etc.
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 12:13 PM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


Most of my family has personal experience with anxiety in one way or another, but they'd support me just as much if they had none. My dad is a real "people person" (likely because he's so ignorant to his own "flaws"), but has had two recent hospital stays due to anxiety. My uncle has basically every major physical and mental health condition, including drug addictions. My older sister has anxiety/depression and takes meds, and although she's voiced concerns that she's not very social and often doesn't enjoy being around people, she has no apparent SA. I'm unsure about my oldest sister, but she tends to spend most of her time at home with her two young kids and doesn't get out much. I'm sure a typical psychiatrist could find something wrong with her.

We alternate between who has the most problems at any given time period. There's nothing we can really say to each other that the other can't empathize with, so I'm lucky in that respect I guess. However, we've all managed to be pretty successful in spite of all our deficiencies.
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 12:19 PM
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


lately, I am opening up a little bit. It helps to share your problems but I don't want my problems ot be a burden on the rest of my family. So I am going to work through this on my own.
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 01:45 PM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


With my immediate family yes. My mom is pretty much the only one who truly understands me though. I find it harder to talk to secondary family members.
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 04:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


My mom seems to be coming around. When she found out I missed another class she called the school for me and excused the absence
(we were supposed to act that class! ahh!)

Quote:
My dad is a real "people person"
Mine is, I guess when he's at a family get-together or something. but one-on-one I don't really talk to him =/
He's quiet/shy (and so am I) so I don't bother trying to bring up painful subjects.
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 09:13 PM
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


Quote:
Originally Posted by njodis
I talk to my sister about it sometimes, but I don't outright call it "social anxiety." I don't think she really understands the extent of my SA, either.

I haven't talked about it at all to anyone else in my family.
I could have written that. That's my exact situation. I feel like if I tell my mother she won't believe there's anything really wrong with me, and then I'll just feel stupid.

Don't miss your chance to swim in mystery.
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 10:45 PM
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


I'm able to talk to my mom about my anxiety to a certain extent. Its not something I can hide. I remember back when I started to have problems being in crowds. I would go to event like a fair or the mall with my parents and become confused and disoriented with everything going on around me. My mom would have to calm me down. Its also easy to talk to her because she suffers from anxiety, although its not social, she still takes medication for it. I don't however tell her how much it really bothers me from day to day, or how I'm so afraid of what others may think of me. She just knows I don't really like speaking in public or being in crowded areas, but doesn't quite understand the thought process behind it.
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-07-2007, 12:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


Quote:
Originally Posted by 99x
I'm able to talk to my mom about my anxiety to a certain extent. Its not something I can hide. I remember back when I started to have problems being in crowds. I would go to event like a fair or the mall with my parents and become confused and disoriented with everything going on around me. My mom would have to calm me down. Its also easy to talk to her because she suffers from anxiety, although its not social, she still takes medication for it. I don't however tell her how much it really bothers me from day to day, or how I'm so afraid of what others may think of me. She just knows I don't really like speaking in public or being in crowded areas, but doesn't quite understand the thought process behind it.
Basically the same for me. My mom takes ativan sometimes when her throat muscle acts up (makes her feel like she's choking a bit). And even if she isn't willing to talk about it, she has mild social anxiety as well. I see it in her all the time. I know what it looks and feels like too well not to notice. And it's definitely not something I can hide either, unfortunately.
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-07-2007, 01:22 PM
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


I attempt to explain it to my family sometimes, but it always ends with them saying "it'll be alright" (it's never been alright, why would it suddenly start being alright now?), or my older brother will often say "I used to be like that", but I watch him around people and he's really outgoing and funny, I can never remember him being like me. We do have our similarities personality-wise, but he has always had lots of friends and I haven't. Big difference in our social lives...

I am going to completely work on making myself happy.

“Fear can make you do more wrong than hate or jealousy. If you're afraid you don’t commit yourself to life completely; fear makes you always, always hold something back.”
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-07-2007, 02:03 PM
 
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


My mom has known that something was wrong with me socially all of my life. She is the one that brought it up to the doctor when I was a kid. He said I had social anxiety but I was just a kid. She knows I have social anxiety but I don't think she completely understands it. I've said some things about it to her but not really much. My cousin/best friend who passed away is who knew the most about it though. I talked to her about it all the time and she completely understood. As for my brothers and dad, no way. My dad doesn't know what the hell is wrong with me. And i'm sure my brothers know i'm shy but have no clue even what social anxiety is.
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-07-2007, 05:43 PM
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Re: Are you able to talk to you parents/other family members


I can talk to my mom, because she's been through counselling for self esteem issues. Plus she's taken a ton of psychology type classes, and works with mentally ill/physically disabled individuals. She knows everything about my social phobia, pretty much. I have to be careful though because sometimes I think she feels guilty, or as if it's her fault. She always asks me if she traumatized me. :// lol Not true at all.

As for other family members, I don't see them, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't tell any of them. Even though I think my dad may have had SA (he's an alcoholic, hates crowds, is quiet, doesn't have close friends, and used to hide in his room when my uncle brought over his girlfriend ).
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