are self help books helpful? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 01:31 PM Thread Starter
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are self help books helpful?


I am currently reading the ''shyness and social anxiety workbook'' by martin anthony and richard swinson..is it worth?
any experience?
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 11:29 PM
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I haven't read that book however I have read other books such as how to win friends and influence people and how to talk to anyone.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 11:41 PM
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I'm sure some of them are very good - especially if you work through the exercises etc and do gradual exposure. I'm really bad at that sort of thing though - I'm not very good at concentrating for some reason.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2020, 12:23 AM
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They can give you good advice and help you understand the situation better. But I have learned with SA understanding about it is only half battle. You have to have the motivation or courage to expose yourself to things that make you uncomfortable in order to improve and get better. So if your afraid of talking to the opposite sex you have actually do it to reduce your anxiety and see it is not that bad. Not easily done and I regret not being able to do it much more myself.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2020, 12:35 AM
 
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Yeah self help books are really helpful. I lended some books to my brother and he insulted me that he doesn't like self help books. I didn't think much about the genre of books before that, but now my brother's opinion of the majority of my books is eye-opening! Probably people who don't like to own self help books are not looking to improve themselves and are not interested in how they behave and how others behave? I don't know! But all I have are self help books, because deep down I am my own best therapist!
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 02:32 AM
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No doubt some of them are very helpful.
But be aware of those pop-culture occult like "self-help" coaches who can ultimately bring you more harm than good. In others words, someone down to earth and somewhat low-key but recommended by others (amazon reviews, YT comments etc) is your best bet.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 02:44 AM
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if you take some kind of action on what the book suggests then it could help. I have never read it tho.

**** your feelings !!


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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 04:43 PM
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I like the ones that stress the importance of self compassion. Other than that the self help genre can be repetitive and at some point action becomes more important than words







John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 04:58 PM
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Sometimes they are, sometimes not... I read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a *****" and the author had good advice I agreed with. But it was hard to actually apply to my own life so I haven't made any changes.

Like, one of the lessons is to focus on giving a ***** about what matters... but what if nothing matters to me? Then what do I do, care about nothing?

And how building long-term roots and endeavors is more meaningful and rewarding that fleeting experiences, e.g. focusing on a career over constantly traveling and jumping from one high to another... I know that the stable, meaningful way to go about things is how I should be living. But how do I deal with the constant calls of the void to dump life out of the window and fly off again?
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 05:02 PM
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 05:45 PM
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Social Courage, by Dr Eric Goodman is pretty decent, ACT and CFT for social anxiety. Though not "fixing" anxiety might be a tough sell for many.

Compassion focused therapy audio, guided meditations:

https://balancedminds.com/audio/
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-04-2020, 11:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
Social Courage, by Dr Eric Goodman is pretty decent, ACT and CFT for social anxiety. Though not "fixing" anxiety might be a tough sell for many.
Arguably, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with most people. As the word 'courage' implies, I think a lot of us just lack confidence and self-esteem. I've read Carnegie's book before, and a lot of his advice seems like common sense, like "smile", "take a genuine interest in other people", etc. It's all good advice, but honestly, if you're this depressed, anxious mess and you think that no one likes you and that you have almost nothing of value to offer, then simply being told to smile more doesn't exactly help.
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