anxiety techniques - Page 4 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #61 of 402 (permalink) Old 05-21-2011, 04:51 PM
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How come I never noticed this thread before!? And it's relatively new!

"Family! Our families determine who we are, determine what we’re not, all of our relationships with everybody we ever meet for the rest of our lives is based on the way we relate to the members of our family, no wonder the world’s so ****ed up!

People move the way that they move cuz they’re still working out some **** with their fathers! They’re still pissed at their mothers for not potty training them properly, **** like that, People want to get back @ their parents for making them be born."
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post #62 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-18-2011, 06:55 AM
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Surrender. All negativity is caused by resistance or fighting. It's your bodies natural 'fight' resist or 'flight' surrender to what is. Which do you choose? Say fully present in the moment, for all of your anxiety goes away. Practice staying present my meditation. That's the whole point of meditation.
Try this:

Close your eyes.

Say to yourself, "I wonder what thought I'm going to receive next.

Focus on that as hard as you can.

Ok you got a thought. As soon as you got s thought is when you drifted away from the present moment. But look back. Did you have anxiety while you were waiting for your thought? Answer should be no.

"A blind man will not change for that he knows not what he does.* It is when he sees is when the magic begins."
-Mitchell Kraus
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post #63 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-19-2011, 02:12 PM
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^^Exactly.

Like in the story of Temple Grandin, the autistic woman who's had a hugely successful life working with livestock. She used a form of that technique to overcome her fears of social situations. She learned to see every new or scary experience as a door opening, and she faced each door with a clear mind, no expectations, no fears, just an attitude of "Let's see what's behind that door!" There's a great movie out about her life that illustrates that technique and its results beautifully, one of the most inspiring movies I've seen in a long time.

"To study the Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things. To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between one's self and others."

-Dogen
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post #64 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-21-2011, 03:27 PM
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Here's a few more techniques:

1) Pick a word or phrase to use when you get a sudden, overwhelming feeling of depression or anxiety. As soon as you start to feel yourself becoming depressed or anxious, think about this word or phrase and just keep repeating it quietly to yourself. It can be anything you want, but it helps if it is a neutral or positive thought. It doesn't even have to make sense, it is just something you can focus on to keep your mind off your anxiety. If you like dogs, for instance, perhaps your word could be "puppy" and when you get anxious, just repeat the word "puppy" in your head.

2) Say "yes". In this technique, you find a positive question that you can answer "yes" to and then keep repeating "yes" in your head for about 1 minute.

3) Do you procrastinate a lot? If you have a task that you are avoiding, say "I'll just do it for a minute". Often, once we get started on a task, we'll keep doing it. It's just the dread of thinking about the entire task that keeps us from getting started. If you put off cleaning your home or apartment, break it down into small tasks and do it throughout the week instead of trying to get it all done on one day. For instance, one morning while you are getting ready for work, take 5 minutes and clean the sink. The next day, clean the toilet. A couple days later, clean the bathtub/shower. By the end of the week, the entire bathroom will have been cleaned. Do the same with each room.

4) Related to #3, do the next task. There is always some little task that we can do that takes virtually no effort. Pick up the book you left on the table and put it back on the shelf. Put your shoes away. If you've got a bunch of clothes lying around, pick up one shirt. Again, once you've done one task, it is a little easier to do the next.

5) If you have trouble remembering to use your anxiety strategies when you actually get anxious, try using some kind of talisman to remind you. Perhaps a necklace, a pen, a watch, a background on your phone, whatever. Just something to keep with you all of the time to remind you that you have the ability to use strategies to stop from feeling anxious or depressed. Whenever you practice your strategies, think about the object you use for your talisman, so when you see it, you'll associate the talisman with the strategy.

6) Whenever you are feeling anxious or depressed, ask yourself "what is wrong right now, this very second?". Most of the time, you will find you are worrying about something that is either in the past or in the future, but there is nothing wrong with you right at that exact moment.

7) Remember that your brain is listening. Don't beat yourself up. When you tell yourself that you are stupid, ugly, fat, etc., you are just making yourself feel worse and more self-conscious. For instance, if you are overweight, don't talk about your weight ever. If someone comments on your weight, whether good or bad, just say "I'm sorry, but I have a rule that I never discuss weight".

8 )If you have trouble getting up in the morning, picture someone else in a far away place getting up and starting their day. Then, picture them offering you a hand get up and get out of bed.

9) When you are in a bad mood, take some deep breaths. With every breath you exhale, picture your bad mood as being a dark, toxic cloud being exhaled and with every inhale, picture clean, fresh air filling your lungs.

10) Be a casual observer. Instead of getting caught up in your feelings, disassociate from them and act like a casual observer. Say to yourself "anxiety is happening", as if you were witnessing it in another person.
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post #65 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-22-2011, 09:34 AM
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these are so well thought out, thankyou for taking all that time to explain them instead of just posting some recommendation for a book that i can't buy! i didn't read through all of them yet but i'm gonna try these

"it's like she dun woke up mad like her husband had bought her the wrong cereal..."
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbKaw...eature=related

i'm going to punch you in the baby maker.
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post #66 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-23-2011, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
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@jimity These are great CBT techniques. What book/site did you these from?

Most of them are from David Burns, plus I made a few of my own up.
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post #67 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-23-2011, 12:10 AM
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i just wing it! verbal diarrhea .. random face expression .. hold my breath.. pretend im not tense with awkward posture ... act like its all okay and the world is the problem not me...

then i over analyze it while i toss and turn feeling like crap that night
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post #68 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-24-2011, 02:28 AM Thread Starter
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i just wing it! verbal diarrhea .. random face expression .. hold my breath.. pretend im not tense with awkward posture ... act like its all okay and the world is the problem not me...

then i over analyze it while i toss and turn feeling like crap that night

Pefect!
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post #69 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-25-2011, 12:23 PM
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Huh. I had someone yell at me from a few rows behind me, Ashley you are so quiet! I thought that was rude. I would never randomly yell at someone, Gosh you are so loud! I get that there is some truth to it as you have said but I don't know why someone would say that. I guess I frustrate her. I have only talked to her like once and we have 150 people in our classroom. I don't understand people. Or I'm paranoid and she was randomly yelling at another Ashley.
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post #70 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-26-2011, 01:38 PM
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Run through scenarios of what will happen what could happen, plan it out, for me at least a lot of the anxiety comes from not knowing vs. knowing. The worst thing for anxiety is not to plan out what you do, don't overplan though that way leads to higher anxiety as well, I've done that as well, so plan in the moment not six years down the line for example.
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post #71 of 402 (permalink) Old 06-30-2011, 03:50 PM
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I thought I was the only "weirdo" who thought gruesome thoughts like your tip #15. Within 2 minutes of being on this site, I realized I wasn't the only one. I'm a very non-violent person but for some reason, the idea that everyone will be dead one day is what gets me through difficult situations. When I say difficult, I mean normal everyday things that those with social anxiety find difficult. My latest technique is to picture dirt being dug out, like that of a grave. If I'm worried about what others are going to think I remind myself that one day, they'll be dead and it will not matter if they thought I was stupid or weird. It really does work!
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post #72 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-01-2011, 10:17 AM
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FLOODING does not work, it makes the problem worse! Do not use flooding!
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post #73 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-10-2011, 02:01 PM
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Now it is on my SA recovery plan to have sex with a prostitute!!!
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post #74 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-10-2011, 06:02 PM
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Now it is on my SA recovery plan to have sex with a prostitute!!!
LOL.

Aside from the examples stigmatising gays. . . this list is exhaustive and well worth a shot with many of the techniques. o:
*steals the list and puts it into a word document*

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post #75 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-15-2011, 03:10 AM Thread Starter
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This reminds me, I'm going to write up a meta-cognitive post.
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post #76 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-15-2011, 03:28 AM
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awesome

"People are tantalizingly close physically, and yet spiritually, mentally, morally- they manage to remain infinitely remote from each other" Zygmunt Bauman

- "You know the only thing that has made the whole thing worthwhile has been those few times that I was able to truly connect with another person."
- "I had a hunch you might be a real romantic."
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post #77 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-15-2011, 05:02 PM Thread Starter
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I don't get it : / could you explain this a little more please, I might try this as well.

The idea behind this was some people with anxiety over emotional expression in the mind don't express their emotions to themselves simply because they feel overwhelmed by them, like they are too extreme and painful to experience. Yet crying can help overcome this fear and cause a remission of symptoms of social anxiety because the social anxiety was caused by lack of feeling emotions through unconcious surpression during social interaction. Socio-emotional information is blocked out for fear of it being overwhleming. So once emotions can be felt, there is a huge shift in perception and a new depth of feeling with a significant increase in genuine empathy, allowing social interaction to become natural and fluid as you become tuned into the mood of others and the interaction and in yourself and respond to subtle social cues in a way you never had before. The increase in empathy and emotional feelings allows you to see and understand just how social interaction actually works and how to fit in and connect with others. You will be able to respond and engage with others in a way that was impossible before. Then you will see just what exactly your issue was. You were stuck inside a personality mode that was dissociated from a healthier personality mode that is able to express feelings, be intimate, socially interact without any nervousness or awkwardness etc. There is another whole new personality inside people with social anxiety. The personlity they experience when socially anxious is the one they experience all the time. They lost touch with their own feelings as a young child because their feelings had become dissociated and exist inside another whole different personality. It is like their feelings are wrapped up in cotton wool and unable to be felt with an intensity. They believe the peronality they experience now is the only one they have, yet this is false. Most social anxiety cases already were set when they were very young, somewhere between the ages of 0 - 5, not during the teenage years, though of course bullying and peer rejection doesn't help. Once the peronality surfaces, parts the brain will have increased blood flow and exprience an increase in neurotransmitter activity as a result, causing a new perception of things.
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post #78 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-16-2011, 12:18 AM
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When you're talking to someone, try imagining that you're tuning onto the same frequency as them, that you're connecting to their social machine, that you are connecting to them. I tried some of that today and was succesful.
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post #79 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-16-2011, 11:40 PM
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Thank you for typing these out I'm planning on trying some out whilst out in public.
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post #80 of 402 (permalink) Old 07-18-2011, 08:37 PM
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thanks alot for the techniques ;}
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