Anxiety Going Out With Friends - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 02:55 AM Thread Starter
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Anxiety Going Out With Friends


I have one friend. Lately I've been feeling anxiety out hanging out with her.

We don't have a lot to talk about anymore. She always talk about herself. And she doesn't care about what is going on with me.

We don't talk about stimulating topics.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 03:11 AM
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I am actually much more anxious with more long time and closer friends, than with new friends or people I just met. Mostly due to running out of things to talk about. Every thing new about me, they already know so I would just end up repeating myself in conversations. And it doesn't help that I don't really have much interesting and new goings with my life. This is probably a major and obvious reason why I have trouble keeping friends around for too long. My boredom and lackluster life just drive others away.


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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 04:39 AM
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Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
I have one friend. Lately I've been feeling anxiety out hanging out with her.

We don't have a lot to talk about anymore. She always talk about herself. And she doesn't care about what is going on with me.

We don't talk about stimulating topics.
Have you ever thought about trying the social anxiety meetup in Sydney? Don't know if it's any good, but I was looking at it a few years ago when I was staying up there with my sister. You might be able to make a few more friends.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 04:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Blue Dino View Post
I am actually much more anxious with more long time and closer friends, than with new friends or people I just met. Mostly due to running out of things to talk about. Every thing new about me, they already know so I would just end up repeating myself in conversations. And it doesn't help that I don't really have much interesting and new goings with my life. This is probably a major and obvious reason why I have trouble keeping friends around for too long. My boredom and lackluster life just drive others away.
No, I don't think that's right - you don't have to have an exciting life just to please these ****wits. They're supposed to care about you. Maybe they're just pricks. (no offence - sorry if you like them obviously)
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 07:06 AM Thread Starter
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Have you ever thought about trying the social anxiety meetup in Sydney? Don't know if it's any good, but I was looking at it a few years ago when I was staying up there with my sister. You might be able to make a few more friends.[/QUOTE]

I've been to a few meetup outings. It wasn't so bad. It's a bit awkward because most people in the group already know each other.

I'm more anxious now so have trouble motivating myself to attend any. I join meetup groups but just lurk at the events.

I just feel sad and disappointed with the situation with my friend. We met in high school but how we interact most times seems like we just met.

We're both awkward in different ways so that's why. I'm just hurt because she doesn't care about me. It's always about her. When she was so close to her brother and we would hang out, she would always choose him. Always go off with him. And I felt like the third wheel.

And now after we go out she always says bye in such an awkward way!! It makes me so uncomfortable. I don't understand why she can't say bye normally, like normal friends do.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Have you ever thought about trying the social anxiety meetup in Sydney? Don't know if it's any good, but I was looking at it a few years ago when I was staying up there with my sister. You might be able to make a few more friends.
I've been to a few meetup outings. It wasn't so bad. It's a bit awkward because most people in the group already know each other.

I'm more anxious now so have trouble motivating myself to attend any. I join meetup groups but just lurk at the events.

I just feel sad and disappointed with the situation with my friend. We met in high school but how we interact most times seems like we just met.

We're both awkward in different ways so that's why. I'm just hurt because she doesn't care about me. It's always about her. When she was so close to her brother and we would hang out, she would always choose him. Always go off with him. And I felt like the third wheel.

And now after we go out she always says bye in such an awkward way!! It makes me so uncomfortable. I don't understand why she can't say bye normally, like normal friends do.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I remember you mentioning that a while ago and that it upset you. Maybe it's more to do with her though - maybe it's her own anxiety?

Did you ever talk about serious things when you were younger - things that were upsetting you etc? That's how you get to really know someone. Maybe if you didn't that's why you guys talk like you've just met. (sorry if that's not the case though)
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 04:48 AM Thread Starter
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@harrison

You're right. We didn't talk about serious or intimate topics.

She never wanted to talk on the phone. Everytime I shared something personal she wouldn't continue to discuss it.

I think she's more awkward than me in terms of intimacy. She is more social as in she made close friends from work and can go out with them. I struggle with that.

It makes me sad that our relationship is like this since we met in high school.
But I've learnt that time doesn't mean anything about your relationship with another. I can meet someone now and we can connect more than what I have with my friend.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
@harrison

You're right. We didn't talk about serious or intimate topics.

She never wanted to talk on the phone. Everytime I shared something personal she wouldn't continue to discuss it.

I think she's more awkward than me in terms of intimacy. She is more social as in she made close friends from work and can go out with them. I struggle with that.

It makes me sad that our relationship is like this since we met in high school.
But I've learnt that time doesn't mean anything about your relationship with another. I can meet someone now and we can connect more than what I have with my friend.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I think it depends on the person. Sometimes we meet someone and maybe we just feel more comfortable talking to them or feel more relaxed ourselves in some way - and we open up to them more.

I'm at a strange time in my life tbh - where I find it almost tiring talking to people I know. In some ways I think it's just that I've been dealing with such a big change in my life that I just do it on my own. To talk about it all with someone else would just be even more exhausting.
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