Am I normal? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 11:58 AM Thread Starter
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Am I normal?


Every single day I live a ghost. I have no friends, I'm not close to anyone in my family, I live on my own so everyday just only me facing to 4 walls alone and have no one to talk to. I started loosing my language ability when I can't speak fluently even with simple things in life.

I'm also insecure about my body, I never take any pictures of myself, even portrait for my funeral. If I die by car hitting or be killed or some accident, nobody cares and there's nothing about me to post on internet.

I've never travelled to anywhere, never go to any big restaurants, splendid places, or musical festival or anybody's wedding, birthday... I lack a lot of social life experience, I have no real and stable job. I have no love. I have nothing...

And I'm 28. How would my life gonna be? Where's my future? What am I gonna be? What am I suppose to do? I'm freaking out. I don't know how to continue this life... I'm just trying to exist because of responsibility for my old and sick parents. Without them, I could end this easier...
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 01:03 PM
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"Normal" is really a concept, from my experience, nobody really fits that criteria. I am very sorry you are feeling so lonely. Please feel free to message me if you want a friend. The talk about funerals is honestly concerning, that thought would not ideally come up that easily but I have been there too. Have you ever tried any therapy for these feelings? I'm almost 31 and I got seriously so depressed last year on my birthday, I have a card from work colleagues that I can't bring myself to open still. It must be hard looking after your sick parents, that must take a toll on you. But they will ultimately appreciate you doing that. I am not going to diagnose you but you sound really depressed. Again, I'm here to talk if you want a friend. My therapist has a few times described anxiety and depression like one is the tree and the other is the moss growing on the tree, they go hand in hand and that kind of sucks cos you get a double hit. Please take care, you're worth that.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 01:48 PM
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I wasn't so different at 28. Only had online friends, and went months without speaking out loud. In my 30s I started doing meetups and making a few friends and a couple girlfiends and a lot of memories. You have to pick something you want to do (not everything at once) and start doing it, and then try again after you fail.

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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 04:58 PM
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You are normal because you are human. Humans makes mistakes and are imperfect beings.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 06:31 PM Thread Starter
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Sorry for my English. It's not my mother tongue and I'm still learning. Maybe ordinary / average / common instead of 'normal'? I don't know. Tell me.
Even with my mother tongue, I still struggle to organize words in my head and write - erase over and over again until it's completed understandably.
If I don't have internet, well, maybe I'm not human anymore. Or I can say I'm a Hikikomiri. Almost like that. Thanks for understanding me.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 10:20 PM
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Most of us aren't normal in most ways probably...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 10:38 PM
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if you was normal you would not be on this forum

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 10:52 PM
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aybe the best way to cope is realize that you're not normal or abnormal. Its just a label.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 06:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doraemun View Post
Every single day I live a ghost. I have no friends, I'm not close to anyone in my family, I live on my own so everyday just only me facing to 4 walls alone and have no one to talk to. I started loosing my language ability when I can't speak fluently even with simple things in life.

I'm also insecure about my body, I never take any pictures of myself, even portrait for my funeral. If I die by car hitting or be killed or some accident, nobody cares and there's nothing about me to post on internet.

I've never travelled to anywhere, never go to any big restaurants, splendid places, or musical festival or anybody's wedding, birthday... I lack a lot of social life experience, I have no real and stable job. I have no love. I have nothing...

And I'm 28. How would my life gonna be? Where's my future? What am I gonna be? What am I suppose to do? I'm freaking out. I don't know how to continue this life... I'm just trying to exist because of responsibility for my old and sick parents. Without them, I could end this easier...
Well, your questioning whether or not you're normal is normal. The fact that you're aware there are problems and you want to figure out what they are and try to fix them is a good thing. Your future is now. Don't wait for it to happen or you will regret it.

/WYSD
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