Al These Under 25 People - Page 4 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #61 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 09:56 AM
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I don't think it's just a "phase" i'm going through, I've been battling this for over 7 years. I think this will be with me for the rest of my life. There are people that go through things and are still finding themselves and are going through " young phases", but there are people in there 30s and 40s that are still learning about themselves believe it or not.
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post #62 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 05:45 PM
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If "all these under 25 people" take anything away from this thread please know this. It doesn't get any better if you just keep hoping it will change. Thinking you'll magically grow out of it once you meet some goal or get a little bit older or whatever criteria you've sat for yourself will mean nothing if you don't put concrete effort into changing. I don't mean this accusingly either, because I sure as hell didn't do it properly.

The only thing that is better about being younger with SA is you have more time to change and so the less harm it will do to your life overall if you can address it.
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post #63 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 08:01 PM
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Well that's one way to make me feel unwelcome. I guess my issues won't be legitimate for another four years...
Ditto. I've had symptoms of SA from a very young age, even among my family. Simply put, I think it's no one's business to judge whether someone is entitled to post here. You don't know what people have been through or the depth of the lows they've experienced. You don't know how impossible it may be (for reasons they don't understand) for them to "change while there's still time".

"In the desert I saw a creature, naked, bestial, Who, squatting upon the ground, Held his heart in his hands, And ate of it. I said: 'Is it good, friend?' 'It is bitter - bitter,' he answered; 'But I like it Because it is bitter, And because it is my heart.'" - Stephen Crane, In the Desert
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post #64 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by offbyone View Post
If "all these under 25 people" take anything away from this thread please know this. It doesn't get any better if you just keep hoping it will change. Thinking you'll magically grow out of it once you meet some goal or get a little bit older or whatever criteria you've sat for yourself will mean nothing if you don't put concrete effort into changing. I don't mean this accusingly either, because I sure as hell didn't do it properly.

The only thing that is better about being younger with SA is you have more time to change and so the less harm it will do to your life overall if you can address it.

This is the best advice anyone can give to someone who is suffering.
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post #65 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 11:34 PM
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The OP's message was quite a vast generalization. Just because this was the OP's experience does not mean this is the same for everyone. In fact it is down right ridiculous. If one has true SA they are not going to just grow out of it. I'm 28 years old. While some things have become easier (i.e., walking into a classroom, talking with a small group of students, going through a line at the cashier, married) other things have become more difficult, such as making friends. This has become increasingly difficult as I have aged since people my age either have an established friend group and don't really care to have anyone new join, especially someone that requires a long warm up. Or- people my age are so busy with their families that they don't have the same amount of time they once had to hang out. Which is somewhat the case with my husband and I as well.

But the longer I go without making friends, or maintaining the few I do have (if you could even call them friends anymore) becomes more and more difficult as I have continued to lose my confidence and social skills, which only feeds the SA further.
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post #66 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 06:45 AM
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Hey OP: Not everyone is you.

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post #67 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 06:56 AM
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This isn't essentially true. I've had problems with acute shyness and a lack of social skills since a young child. I still have acute SA and i'm a woman in her late twenties. Just because an individual may be under the age of 25, it doesn't mean that they don't really have SA and it doesn't mean they will find it easier to overcome it.
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post #68 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 08:45 AM
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I have yet to post, but I thought I would as part of me was slightly enraged while reading this. This has already been pointed out but bears repeating: not everyone is you.
Yes, SA, just like every other mental illness/disorder is just that, but it also a very personal experience. Meaning, while we may have similar symptoms, their severity and manifestation may vary greatly. Although, some seem to be forgetting that it is also a disorder as well. SA and along with depression isn't "growing pains" or "trendy". Trendy? I found this particularly hurtful. There's a world of difference between posting sad poems on tumblr and reading Salinger and Plath and coping with a mental illness. Melancholy might be romanticized, but the latter can't and shouldn't be.
As other people here have, I dealt with anxiety since childhood and depression throughout my teens. I haven't had any close relationships, sense of accomplishment, and missed out on a lot of experiences. Many of these missed experiences have given my peers a foundation for growth that I feel I'm lacking. Stories and pictures to look back on I'm also lacking. Now, again this isn't true for everyone, but no matter how your SA appears at this age, it difficult to watch others form lasting social bonds(as this is an age where that happens for many) while you either aren't or can't fully enjoy them. So while it's nice that you feel things are improving, please don't draw conclusion on our disorders from your experiences.
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post #69 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 08:53 AM
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I understand the feeling of loneliness and social isolation/rejection might sting a bit more if you are in your 30s and have been suffering with such problems for longer than someone in their teens or 20s, and it holds a slightly stronger stigma to have such a lifestyle due to the fact many people have a social circle, a SO, family, etc by that age, by that doesn't make those in their 20s problems/concerns any less valid. It sucks regardless of your age in actuality. Especially if you're someone who tries to put yourself out there socially only to find the same routine of social rejection and isolation continue regardless, and are then forced to watch "the best years of your life"/youth waste away with little to no fond memories of social experiences others who have can relish in having as they continue to age and move forward with their lives.

You can rant and rave all you want but a negative attitude gets you nowhere.
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post #70 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 03:13 PM
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I have yet to post, but I thought I would as part of me was slightly enraged while reading this. This has already been pointed out but bears repeating: not everyone is you.
Yes, SA, just like every other mental illness/disorder is just that, but it also a very personal experience. Meaning, while we may have similar symptoms, their severity and manifestation may vary greatly. Although, some seem to be forgetting that it is also a disorder as well. SA and along with depression isn't "growing pains" or "trendy". Trendy? I found this particularly hurtful. There's a world of difference between posting sad poems on tumblr and reading Salinger and Plath and coping with a mental illness. Melancholy might be romanticized, but the latter can't and shouldn't be.
As other people here have, I dealt with anxiety since childhood and depression throughout my teens. I haven't had any close relationships, sense of accomplishment, and missed out on a lot of experiences. Many of these missed experiences have given my peers a foundation for growth that I feel I'm lacking. Stories and pictures to look back on I'm also lacking. Now, again this isn't true for everyone, but no matter how your SA appears at this age, it difficult to watch others form lasting social bonds(as this is an age where that happens for many) while you either aren't or can't fully enjoy them. So while it's nice that you feel things are improving, please don't draw conclusion on our disorders from your experiences.
I love this post.

I love this post forever and ever. <3

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post #71 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 03:16 PM
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The OP has an excellent point. Pretty much everyone our age is at least a little depressed and lonely. Not only is it extremely common, its almost become kind of trendy.


However, while a lot of these people are just "going through a phase", I think its safe to say that a lot of us are experiencing some problems that extend far beyond "growing pains". For example, I rarely talk to anyone and sometimes struggle to look people in the eye. This doesn't seem like normal behavior for anyone. Also, I'd say the vast majority of people our age, whether they have SA or not, have a facebook page. The idea of having a facebook page terrifies me. I could go on and on, but there's people here who have it even worse than me. I'd like to think that we'll all be doing better by the time we're thirty, but that's not going to happen if we don't acknowledge that we have a problem now.
^^^^^

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post #72 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 03:20 PM
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Cynical and bunny are both saying the truth!!! I find this thread truly distasteful and ignorant. I have had problems ever since I was a child. Just because somebody is young and has SA doesn't mean it is a "phase". My father has SA but he tries to fight it.

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post #73 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 03:22 PM
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"This is so common how all these under 25 people on these site always have the same story: no friends, no BF/GF, depressed, etc... In fact a lot of university students are depressed...you guys aren't the only one."

It's common, so it's okay? Feeling lonely and depressed is a problem regardless of age.
It's not like people will suddenly feel just dandy once they're 26 or out of college.
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post #74 of 76 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by bunnyonthemoon View Post
I have yet to post, but I thought I would as part of me was slightly enraged while reading this. This has already been pointed out but bears repeating: not everyone is you.
Yes, SA, just like every other mental illness/disorder is just that, but it also a very personal experience. Meaning, while we may have similar symptoms, their severity and manifestation may vary greatly. Although, some seem to be forgetting that it is also a disorder as well. SA and along with depression isn't "growing pains" or "trendy". Trendy? I found this particularly hurtful. There's a world of difference between posting sad poems on tumblr and reading Salinger and Plath and coping with a mental illness. Melancholy might be romanticized, but the latter can't and shouldn't be.
As other people here have, I dealt with anxiety since childhood and depression throughout my teens. I haven't had any close relationships, sense of accomplishment, and missed out on a lot of experiences. Many of these missed experiences have given my peers a foundation for growth that I feel I'm lacking. Stories and pictures to look back on I'm also lacking. Now, again this isn't true for everyone, but no matter how your SA appears at this age, it difficult to watch others form lasting social bonds(as this is an age where that happens for many) while you either aren't or can't fully enjoy them. So while it's nice that you feel things are improving, please don't draw conclusion on our disorders from your experiences.
Thank you for this post. You put in words what I'd never know how to say.
I never really thought about lacking pictures and stories before. I feel sad again thinking about that.

"In the desert I saw a creature, naked, bestial, Who, squatting upon the ground, Held his heart in his hands, And ate of it. I said: 'Is it good, friend?' 'It is bitter - bitter,' he answered; 'But I like it Because it is bitter, And because it is my heart.'" - Stephen Crane, In the Desert
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post #75 of 76 (permalink) Old 11-08-2011, 07:24 AM
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I'm 21 and I may not beable to finish my degree because I can't bring myself to walk into a class room. But hey I guess I don't have a problem. I guess I'll just grow out of it. When? When I've been kicked out of my course and living on welfare payments for the rest of my life because I'm also to anxious to work because of social interaction. Everyday I think about the rest of my life. I don't want to get to 30 and be thinking of what could have been.
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post #76 of 76 (permalink) Old 11-08-2011, 08:54 AM
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I agree with others. That's a really vague/general assumption. Maybe it was just a phase for you but that doesn't mean it's a phase for everyone.


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