Akward pauses,bad phone call w. friend leaves me crushed. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
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Akward pauses,bad phone call w. friend leaves me crushed.

So I just called up an old friend I was hanging around a couple of weeks ago. We got along great then, and just now there were akward silences between us on the phone.
I was telling her a bit about what I've been up to (not much) and trying to ask her about herself. Maybe I'm horrible at small talk. I tried though. I tried really hard.

I wanted to whack my head on the wall when I got off the phone. She sounded like she was either a)absolutely bored by me b)thinking I'm an idiot with no control over my life c)some other hateful thing.

I feel like crying. Are any of you so sensitive that one person can break you with one word (or lack of words)? When I feel like this I just don't want anyone around. I just want to disappear or want people to disappear so I can stop being hurt.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 12:11 PM
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That used to happen to me to a friend I used to talk to. It was just painful to talk to her on the phone sometimes since there would be silences and i'd just be screaming in my head to just think of something interesting to say. She actually fell asleep on me once, she said that she had been tired all day but it still made me feel like crap. =/

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 12:13 PM
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Thats exactly why I dont call anyone. I'm afraid of awkward pauses and not knowing what to say and then they won't think I'm interesting anymore. It just sucks when you try so hard to talk and make conversastion and it just doesn't work. My boyfriend will call me on his hour lunch break and he will get really frustrated because I can't think of anything to talk about or think of something to say about what he's talking about.

Whenever I have a phone conversation like that after it has ended I think about for the next few days and wonder why I didn't try harder or why I didn't say this or that and I beat myself up about it.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 12:13 PM
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Yep. This happens to me ALL the time. Sometimes, I want to curl up and just cry about it. Sometimes I realize that, it's just how it goes when folks are talking to me. It's a fact of life, so I usually try not to call folks for a looooong time, so when we do finally talk there's lots to talk about....that last minute before hanging up when the convo is dying down is still awkward tho.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 12:36 PM
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I frequently text with a friend who I happen to have feelings for, and one day she actually wanted to talk over the phone. I got really nervous and tried to plan ahead what I was going to say. We were on the phone for a few hours, but there was so much silence in between short bursts of conversation. After we finished I thought I blew it and screwed things up. I felt terrible. A week later she called again, and we've been talking on the phone pretty often now.

There are a lot of awkward pauses still, but it made me realize that I was just being too hard on myself. So it may not have been as bad as you thought it was.

But yeah, I am sensitive to silence. I hate when people don't respond, I instantly think I said the wrong thing or am too boring. :[

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