Advice on dealing with doctors, anyone?
For years I've been dealing with chronic pain, my back feels like there are blunt claws gouging into it. It makes it so I can't sleep a lot of nights. It affects me every single day, and reduces my quality of life. I don't know what's wrong, but each time I've been to a doctor it's been really hard. Because I have trouble talking and making eye contact, I figure that they get the assumption of "this woman is a liar."
They quickly will start cutting me off mid sentence, and saying things like "maybe you should just go buy a new bed rather than complaining here," or "I've had people in TWICE as much pain, who complain HALF as much as you!" or "I think you're just making this up for attention." Sometimes they raise their voices, and I get this terrible feeling of my stomach twisting into knots and my hands going cold, and I shut down and go silent.
I've gotten blood tests that came back normal, and after that, they started accusing me of having mental problems that make me think that I'm in pain- and I started to believe them, until I got a tooth abscess. It was HORRIBLY painful, like there had been a vice crushing my tooth- but I expected to be called a liar, so I didn't try to get any help for it until the infection set in (close to a year) and I got seriously ill.
When I went to the dentist, I was expecting them to accuse me of lying, but instead they were shocked and asked me, "how did you deal with that amount of pain for so long?!"
I don't understand how tooth pain is real, but the almost equivalent amount of pain I get in my back is fake?
After doing some research, the pain in my back, as well as many other symptoms (numbness, pins and needles, painful spasms, burning feeling in skin, ect.) I get sound like MS. I want to get an MRI to find out, because if I can get a diagnosis it could be life changing! I could get help, there would be ways to relieve the pain, I could sleep again, I could go to a doctor and they would believe me. I wouldn't have to feel like I'm on trial. I could do all sorts of things I've wanted to do, I could go out and try to get over my anxiety, too.
But the problem is, in order to get an MRI I need a doctor's recommendation. In order to do that, I have to talk on the phone with a doctor.
It terrifies me, the feeling of cold sweats and knots twisting in my stomach come back from just thinking about it.
I'm afraid that they'll start questioning me like I'm a criminal, asking me about my personal life and things not related to my symptoms and start judging me, telling me things like "you should go get a life" like other doctors have.
What is the best way to deal with this? How can I talk to people like this? They usually don't want to spend more than five to ten minutes talking to me.
I remember, even my Mom, who had been dying from stage IV metastatic breast cancer, was repeatedly accused of lying. Even after she was diagnosed, she was accused of lying about being in pain. To be honest, I hate these people, they took thousands of dollars from my family and offered no help in return. They treated my Mom like a liar, and they're doing the same thing to me.
I really don't want to talk on the phone with one of them, but I need to. I can't deal with this level of pain every day, I can only do one thing each day, and can't spend more than a couple of hours doing it because it feels like there's an invisible force trying to drag me to the ground.
It makes everything really hard, and I can't pursue my goals and favorite activities.