Acceptance is the way to go. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 06:23 AM Thread Starter
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Acceptance is the way to go.


Stop with the "I have anxiety." Yes, you do. Stop giving it power.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 07:47 AM
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Make changes where you can, accept what you cannot.




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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 08:46 AM Thread Starter
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Can we change our anxiety?
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 08:49 AM
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 09:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Ryukil View Post
Stop with the "I have anxiety." Yes, you do. Stop giving it power.
Yep. I don't know if this what you mean but we have stop resisting life. If you have anxiety you have to first accept it in order to overcome it. It's one of the paradoxes of life.

When you resist something, when you wish you didn't feel anxious, when you hate how it feels to be anxious, you give the anxiety more power.

But if you can accept the anxiety and embrace how it feels it will lose power.

So, you have to let yourself really feel the anxiety, every nuance of that feeling and accept it. Even seek it out so you can become better acquainted with it. Eventually, it will lose its power over you.

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”

― Kurt Vonnegut
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 09:45 AM Thread Starter
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Yep. I don't know if this what you mean but we have stop resisting life. If you have anxiety you have to first accept it in order to overcome it. It's one of the paradoxes of life.

When you resist something, when you wish you didn't feel anxious, when you hate how it feels to be anxious, you give the anxiety more power.

But if you can accept the anxiety and embrace how it feels it will lose power.

So, you have to let yourself really feel the anxiety, every nuance of that feeling and accept it. Even seek it out so you can become better acquainted with it. Eventually, it will lose its power over you.
Have you done this? If so, do you still suffer from anxiety?
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 10:29 AM
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Have you done this? If so, do you still suffer from anxiety?
I have done this. This is the mindful approach.

I do suffer from anxiety but recently I would say I am almost SA free. Mindfulness and joining groups has helped me with the last mile.

The idea is that when you resist your anxiety, you're just adding an extra layer of anxiety. You're anxious about being anxious.

Anxiety is a little like those Chinese finger traps where the more you pull the harder it gets. You have to move in the opposite direction of your intuition. You have to move deeper into the anxiety and embrace it in order to escape.

Overall, what makes anxiety difficult to overcome is that it's a compound problem. There are many factors causing anxiety simultaneously. You may try one technique and give up because it doesn't seem to work. People give up as they feel like they've tried everything. But the key is to attack it from multiple angles, attacking all the facets of anxiety together.

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”

― Kurt Vonnegut
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelClare View Post
Yep. I don't know if this what you mean but we have stop resisting life. If you have anxiety you have to first accept it in order to overcome it. It's one of the paradoxes of life.

When you resist something, when you wish you didn't feel anxious, when you hate how it feels to be anxious, you give the anxiety more power.

But if you can accept the anxiety and embrace how it feels it will lose power.

So, you have to let yourself really feel the anxiety, every nuance of that feeling and accept it. Even seek it out so you can become better acquainted with it. Eventually, it will lose its power over you.
Very true. Anxiety isn't inherently bad. It's only that way because we label it bad.

Instead when we're feeling anxiety we just let it be. We allow it to happen with out resistance. We see that it actually has no power over us.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 11:50 AM
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I have done this. This is the mindful approach.

I do suffer from anxiety but recently I would say I am almost SA free. Mindfulness and joining groups has helped me with the last mile.

The idea is that when you resist your anxiety, you're just adding an extra layer of anxiety. You're anxious about being anxious.

Anxiety is a little like those Chinese finger traps where the more you pull the harder it gets. You have to move in the opposite direction of your intuition. You have to move deeper into the anxiety and embrace it in order to escape.

Overall, what makes anxiety difficult to overcome is that it's a compound problem. There are many factors causing anxiety simultaneously. You may try one technique and give up because it doesn't seem to work. People give up as they feel like they've tried everything. But the key is to attack it from multiple angles, attacking all the facets of anxiety together.
I started with mindfulness too. My anxiety has gone from a 9 to about a 4-5 in about a year. I try to be mindful as often as I can.
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 12:36 PM
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I started with mindfulness too. My anxiety has gone from a 9 to about a 4-5 in about a year. I try to be mindful as often as I can.
Join toastmasters. That may bring your SA down to 1 or 2. Public speaking is the the most common type of social anxiety. If you can defeat that through toastmasters your SA as whole will improve dramatically.

After my first speech it was like some kind barrier was broken.

You can apply mindfulness techniques to the toastmasters process.

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”

― Kurt Vonnegut
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