$1000000 or a lifelong mate - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 09:36 PM Thread Starter
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$1000000 or a lifelong mate


I was asked this question about ten years ago during a drunken night out, what would i instantly take, a million bucks but no chance of companionship ever, not even a kiss, or instant love and happy marriage forever while retaining my income. Back then at 25 years old i answered in a heartbeat "gimme that fortune" and it was an honest answer at that age. Now I'm 35 and i will be perfectly honest, if a genie appeared and asked me this now, it wouldn't be such an esy answer. The fact that i would even have to think about it just shows the enormous pain of eternal loneliness. So i was just wondering guys, what would u honestly take right now, a million bucks and eternal loneliness, or an eternal match & no change in income or lifestyle? I know its a bit of an absurd and elementary question, but i have always been fascinated by the gravity of loneliness
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post #2 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 09:42 PM
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Love won't feed me, or my partner for that matter. Fearing loneliness has never been as bad as fearing going hungry, sleeping in the streets, having to do degrading things for money, winding up dependent on others for care (especially in old age), having to show up at a job I hate forever, being gravely ill without the money to help myself, never having the money to help the people I love, having little to no control over where I can afford to live, etc.

I've watched the misery and skyrocketing health problems of people who have to work at jobs where their boss harangues them constantly or even screams at them. Heart and health issues run in my family on both sides, and my mother spent the start of this week in the hospital with blood in her lungs - made worse by workplace stress.

If I smartly invested all that money, I'd probably never have to fear those things. So, yeah, call me shallow but I'd rather be safe and lonely than in danger and with one single companion.
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post #3 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 09:49 PM
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$1000000 or a lifelong mate


If it adjusts for inflation, I'd take the latter. If not, I'd take the former. I happen to be crazy lucky on both fronts, though.
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post #4 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 09:52 PM
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I'd choose a spouse.

Money can buy you things that make you happy, but it can't make you happy.
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post #5 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 09:57 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by stanthevan View Post
I'd choose a spouse.

Money can buy you things that make you happy, but it can't make you happy.
That is an incredible wording, not sure I've ever heard that exact quote before
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post #6 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by tombradydreamlife View Post
That is an incredible wording, not sure I've ever heard that exact quote before
It's literally the same thing, though. Like saying love won't make you happy, having someone to love will make you happy. It's the kind of thing people who've never faced real financial threats say.
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post #7 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 10:00 PM
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Love won't feed me, or my partner for that matter. Fearing loneliness has never been as bad as fearing going hungry, sleeping in the streets, having to do degrading things for money, winding up dependent on others for care (especially in old age), having to show up at a job I hate forever, being gravely ill without the money to help myself, never having the money to help the people I love, having little to no control over where I can afford to live, etc.

I've watched the misery and skyrocketing health problems of people who have to work at jobs where their boss harangues them constantly or even screams at them. Heart and health issues run in my family on both sides, and my mother spent the start of this week in the hospital with blood in her lungs - made worse by workplace stress.

If I smartly invested all that money, I'd probably never have to fear those things. So, yeah, call me shallow but I'd rather be safe and lonely than in danger and with one single companion.
I concur.
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post #8 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 10:01 PM
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People can easily make enough money to live a fine life, but finding someone who would love your forever is a bit more of a trick. Besides, if you had a life long wife, that would be two incomes. That is fine enough to live comfortably.

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post #9 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 10:03 PM Thread Starter
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It's literally the same thing, though. Like saying love won't make you happy, having someone to love will make you happy. It's the kind of thing people who've never faced real financial threats say.
U are right, that's a good point as well. I think tho, the advantage with having a mate would be that, no matter the storm, u would have a partner
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post #10 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 10:09 PM
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U are right, that's a good point as well. I think tho, the advantage with having a mate would be that, no matter the storm, u would have a partner
I've seen plenty of married people who are miserable, and it's not always enough money just because you have two (theoretical) incomes.

Rich people like celebrities might suffer for it, but not a lot can touch you if you stay off the radar. My dad inherited a pretty fat sum of money from his parents. My mother inherited nothing. My father faced cancer comfortably and his wife was able to complete additional medical training while they lived in a nice home. My mother constantly fears for her own health issues, those of her mother, and worries about her husband's cancer and various other health issues that cost a fortune, and has next to no wiggle room when it comes to employment right now.

I don't care if I turn out to be my dad, I just don't want to be my mom and I don't want to repeat a childhood that at one point included legitimately not knowing when there would be more groceries. I don't want to be people I've seen with dying pets they can't afford vet bills for. The (false) assumption is always that people would only want the money to buy a big mansion and gold-plated cake or something, underestimating just how happy being cushioned against unhappiness can make someone.
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post #11 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 10:10 PM
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I'd take the money and order a subservient wife from a poor country.
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post #12 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 10:14 PM
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post #13 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 10:16 PM Thread Starter
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I've seen plenty of married people who are miserable, and it's not always enough money just because you have two (theoretical) incomes.

Rich people like celebrities might suffer for it, but not a lot can touch you if you stay off the radar. My dad inherited a pretty fat sum of money from his parents. My mother inherited nothing. My father faced cancer comfortably and his wife was able to complete additional medical training while they lived in a nice home, choosing to move to a smaller one explicitly for the purpose of putting less drain on the savings. My mother constantly fears for her own health issues, those of her mother, and worries about her husband's cancer and various other health issues that cost a fortune, and has next to no wiggle room when it comes to employment right now.
Wow those r definitely deep and painful issues & i have yet to experience anything like that. Thank you tho for sharing that it is very interesting & u are totally correct. Sometimes tho, the pain and longing of loneliness is just overpowering as well
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post #14 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 11:38 PM
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Assumptions:
- A lifelong mate is someone I would choice to live my life with ordinarily.

Factors:
- I can live off my income reasonably.
- I don't expect my income to be wildly better in the future.
- $1M would noticeably improve my quality of life (could get a house and enjoy the benefits of that, could invest more for retirement, peace of mind)
- I can manage myself alone reasonably.
- I'm hopeful about finding a lifelong mate at some point but am not exactly holding my breath.
- A lifelong mate would likely improve my quality of life (love, activity companion, social benefits in friendship, better ideas between two people/mental stimulation)

Decision:
Lifelong mate.



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Originally Posted by Kind Of View Post
I don't care if I turn out to be my dad, I just don't want to be my mom and I don't want to repeat a childhood that at one point included legitimately not knowing when there would be more groceries. I don't want to be people I've seen with dying pets they can't afford vet bills for. The (false) assumption is always that people would only want the money to buy a big mansion and gold-plated cake or something, underestimating just how happy being cushioned against unhappiness can make someone.
These are good points.

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post #15 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-28-2014, 12:21 AM
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The money for the reasons that Kind Of gave. However, if the dilemma added that the other person would also never find a companion, and suffer because of it, I might just go for it.
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post #16 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-28-2014, 12:26 AM
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post #17 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-28-2014, 12:47 AM
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Money of course .

You do realize that romantic Love is merely an executable script which commands your brain to seek ways in which to Reproduce ?
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post #18 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-28-2014, 12:51 AM
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Interesting that some Americans in here are choosing money over love so they can buy the kind of healthcare that is 'free' (small monthly contribution) in all other developed countries. It is a pretty sad indictment of the state of play over there for you guys.

Personally I would choose a lifelong partner. To meet someone that you can happily live with for the rest of your life is worth so much more than money.

$1000000 isn't a big sum either.
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post #19 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-28-2014, 01:50 AM
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We will never get enough of money. We are likely to get bored of our mate.

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post #20 of 68 (permalink) Old 11-28-2014, 01:57 AM
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Money. Anyone who says otherwise is delusional.

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