No "real" friends, only "internet friends". - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 09:25 AM Thread Starter
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No "real" friends, only "internet friends".


There's nothing wrong with internet friends. They're great and can take your mind off of loneliness and what not. Sometimes, though, I get depressed thinking how instead of hanging out with real people, I spend sooooooo much time staring at a screen. Btw my social anxiety's so bad that face-to-face chatting even over skype gives me anxiety I plan to skype with one of my internet friends soon and I really hope it goes well. This sucks :/ How can I cope?
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-24-2019, 07:52 PM
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yeah I have online friends and that thought is depressing that theyre only thru a screen. However, I do have real friends I made from work but I realized as an adult... people are busy with work and their own lives that sometimes you'll feel kind of alone which is why I think its best to just get used to doing things alone and striking up a convo with others along the way and walla new friends lol.

Be well and stay positive.

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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-24-2019, 09:39 PM
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I don't even have internet friends.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-01-2019, 07:44 AM

 
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Friends are friends regardless.
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sylrae55 View Post
There's nothing wrong with internet friends. They're great and can take your mind off of loneliness and what not. Sometimes, though, I get depressed thinking how instead of hanging out with real people, I spend sooooooo much time staring at a screen. Btw my social anxiety's so bad that face-to-face chatting even over skype gives me anxiety I plan to skype with one of my internet friends soon and I really hope it goes well. This sucks :/ How can I cope?
I can relate. Online friends are great if they'll always be your online friend, but then you'll wish to hang out with them in real life if you really like that online friend and if you live far away from each other, it's not a nice thing. I hope it goes well for you on Skype too, sylrae55.-that's very courageous of you!
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 02:58 PM
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I don't even have internet friends.
Same here.
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 04:13 PM
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I don't think I'll ever be able to do voice or videochat with online friends. I can't even send them photos.

For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 05:10 PM
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Just remember that if someone judges you for being awkward or whatever, they aren't probably going to be the best of friends anyway so you shouldn't waste your time on trying to please them.

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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 06:40 PM
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All friendship I've attempted to make online have failed because I'm not good at keeping a conversation going. It would be nice to make friends online that live near me, so we could eventually meet and hangout in person.
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 02:57 AM
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I have one friend from the past that I communicate with online, otherwise I don't have any friends online or off. People don't tend to like me when they get to know me because I'm an *******. Ime the more someone gets to know me the less they like me lol. Sort of the opposite problem of most on this site.

90% of the people online who seem to like me are guys who misguidedly develop some form of attraction to me. They're just thirsty even if they don't realise it until they get an irl partner, so I'm never interested in befriending them.
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 03:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
90% of the people online who seem to like me are guys who misguidedly develop some form of attraction to me. They're just thirsty even if they don't realise it until they get an irl partner, so I'm never interested in befriending them.
....Those poor misguided souls, like a moth to a flame 😞 ...I have to say I'm somewhat intrigued by the power struggle between darkness & light/good vs evil that seems to be going on within you, like you were sad when you helped kill a tree yet you have constant thoughts of death & destruction.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 04:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
I have one friend from the past that I communicate with online, otherwise I don't have any friends online or off. People don't tend to like me when they get to know me because I'm an *******. Ime the more someone gets to know me the less they like me lol. Sort of the opposite problem of most on this site.

90% of the people online who seem to like me are guys who misguidedly develop some form of attraction to me. They're just thirsty even if they don't realise it until they get an irl partner, so I'm never interested in befriending them.
I have the same problem too about people growing in their dislike for me. I usually make a good first impression (due to adrenaline etc...) and people think I am fun to be around. And then it all goes wrong when we meet again.

I find social interactions exhausting and I cannot keep up the pretense in the long run.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 04:23 AM
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Real friends were all temp!


nothing lasts

hated by all humans

their fault - no conception of what i can do for them, especially employers
all oblivious, blind
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 07:12 AM
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Yeah, I'm in a similar boat, it's hard for a (almost)27 year old that can barely muster the courage to write a forum post to go out there in the Big Wide World and navigate adult friendships, but I'm trying.

I have S.A.D and agoraphobia so I barely ever had friends IRL, it's mostly been internet friends.
My teen years were during 2005-2011, so it was even less accepted back then but at least it seemed a tad easier due to my age range. Now it seems ridiculously hard.

The only advice I have for you is to work your way up, I call it laddering.
Try elevating your contact with people, overtime, slowly easing yourself into newer social situations.
Exposure might help you build a small level of tolerance.
(EX: texting > voice chatting > video call > ect.)

It's the only thing that's ever helped me in my time tackling anxiety. Sorry I can't be of more help.


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Touch every county, let yourself be land.
Open all the inches to help you understand.
Never try to justify a listless sense of longing
With any sort of weakness,

Just play this song and go to Tixis.
"
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 08:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
....Those poor misguided souls, like a moth to a flame 😞 ...I have to say I'm somewhat intrigued by the power struggle between darkness & light/good vs evil that seems to be going on within you, like you were sad when you helped kill a tree yet you have constant thoughts of death & destruction.
Guess that's why I have that poem on my profile page:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself;
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I think everyone has that though, that's the whole thing behind Star Wars etc. I'm just a bit too in touch with my shadow.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unforgiven17 View Post
I have the same problem too about people growing in their dislike for me. I usually make a good first impression (due to adrenaline etc...) and people think I am fun to be around. And then it all goes wrong when we meet again.

I find social interactions exhausting and I cannot keep up the pretense in the long run.
Yeah one guy I met actually introduced himself to me once by saying 'hey you look like the most normal person here' (to be fair this was in an environment where there were many people mainstream society does not see as normal.) He did not continue to have this opinion for long lol.

Most people have probably been put off out by my style or anxiety/mannerisms as well though but there are definitely a lot of people who got put off further along like weeks/months or even later.
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 09:35 AM
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I'm another one who doesn't even have internet friends. Everyone on my facebook are really old 'friends' I never speak to anymore and old co-workers from work places that I quit. Don't really know what to say or do anymore, I've only recently come back here after quitting forums and just playing video games for the past three years... *le sigh*
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2019, 09:20 AM Thread Starter
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Just remember that if someone judges you for being awkward or whatever, they aren't probably going to be the best of friends anyway so you shouldn't waste your time on trying to please them.
Wow that's so true
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-30-2019, 05:32 PM
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Can you go to counselling to help with your social anxiety? Maybe if you got to stage were it was a little more manageable you could start putting yourself out there, maybe join some local groups or volunteer to meet new people?
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