My friend was using me - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2019, 01:32 PM Thread Starter
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My friend was using me


Mary and I have been friend for a few years. She, a single mother, moved to my town after getting separated, having suffered an abusive marriage. Since meeting for the first time and after listening to her story I have been very supportive, especially since she was new in town. Over the years we developed a close relationship but I sometimes felt used and I have seen her using other people in different ways especially by asking different favours, sometimes futile ones. But I was always justifying her behaviour to the fact that she was a single mother, settling in a new town, feeling a little lonely. If we meet for a coffee she would talk a lot about herself, showing very little interest in me. About two years ago she got a dog and I have become - I still don't know how- her dog sitter. At first I didn't mind helping out - same reason as explained above - but then she started asking more frequently and for longer breaks and I finally said no. ( yeah me!) After my refusal she stopped talking to me for about 2 weeks( it was a relief to be honest) It's Christmas, she sends a msg saying if we can meet for coffee. She hands me a very expensive gift voucher, while I give the usual affordable gifts, which we would normally exchange.I ask her to take the voucher back, since it's way too much but she insist! ( I still haven't used it ...) I feel guilty. Few days later I discovered that she had written a very nasty post about friendship on her personal blog.(Friends taking advantage??!!!) A bit hurt I confront her but she denies and tells me a story which sounds totally fictional. Again she stops talking. ( this is someone who would text every day)

Three month later - for my birthday she "stalks' me with a greeting msg by email, by text msg and even a card delivered to my workplace. I reply with a thank you to the email, but never mention the card. The following day I receive a very long msg in which she asking why I am so distant ... that makes me feel guilty but than I realise she is the one who had stopped talking,since I refused to watch her dog, and she is the one who had written that nasty blog post. Sorry for the long story!Anyway I reply that I am taking some time off from friendships... to sort out my own private life and work on my low energy.She replies thinking that I am sick and wishing me to get well soon, with some smily faces...but I tell her that I am not sick, but Im simply opening my eyes ... She gets really crossed and says ' that's it than, enough!' ... ? Soo was my gut feeling right all along? Am I dealing with a self centered manipulative person?
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2019, 03:03 PM
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This needs to be moved out of General Discussion ASAP. I just read the the title and almost left for another 6 months.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2019, 03:07 PM
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Ok, my bad first post. Honest mistake, maybe. Please tell me the whole site isn't still just basically the frustration section.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2019, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by jealousisjelly View Post
Please tell me the whole site isn't still just basically the frustration section.
... and yet, here you are. Didn't you make a thread a while back that this place sucks? Lol.

"Drifting and autocross is for the weak. We only do maximum velocity."
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2019, 03:31 PM
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So was my gut feeling right all along? Am I dealing with a self centered manipulative person?
If you feel like you are being used by someone, you most likely are.

"Drifting and autocross is for the weak. We only do maximum velocity."
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2019, 04:29 PM
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... and yet, here you are. Didn't you make a thread a while back that this place sucks? Lol.

Yuuup and yet here I am...... months later to see if it's gotten any better like it was when I first joined...was there supposed to be some point to your post? lol.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-04-2019, 07:36 AM
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Manipulative opportunist;stay away
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