I'm tired of putting so much effort in - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 07:29 AM Thread Starter
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I'm tired of putting so much effort in


Whenever I put myself out there and try and talk to other kids I'm always carrying the conversation. That doesn't always happen but majority of times it does and it feels like I'm wasting my time. I open myself as much as I can but that's all I can do it's not up to me if the other person I am speaking to wants to be my friend.

I know I'm not the most open or extroverted person but I do try and when I try I would like for the other person to make an effort too in a conversation. I always have to go up to people and even after that they never really go up to me about anything. I give people my number but they never text me. It all feels like a waste of my time and I've very tired of trying to please others by being friendly when they're never interested in me. I get so happy when people come up to me but other people don't feel the same I guess.

This issue used to make me cry back in high school(I'm in college now) but now I just feel like I care a lot less about it. I'm not gonna stop trying to talk to people but what's the point if the other person makes me feel frustrated from it?
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 08:29 AM
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Apparently, you have to nag your way into a friendship.

I was told this by 2 extroverts (it's how they became friends with each other according to them) .

Basically: introduce yourself, then text/message them a few times and ask to hang out. If they don't reciprocate after a few messages and make themselves available, they don't want you in their life.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 07:36 PM
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Most people are empty vessels that only like talking about themselves. If they are good looking enough, they will have no problem finding someone to hang out with, though. Vapid plus good looking is a slam dunk.

Nardil 75 mg/day (22.5 mg in the morning, 22.5 mg in the afternoon, 30 mg at night)
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 06:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by versikk View Post
Apparently, you have to nag your way into a friendship.

I was told this by 2 extroverts (it's how they became friends with each other according to them) .

Basically: introduce yourself, then text/message them a few times and ask to hang out. If they don't reciprocate after a few messages and make themselves available, they don't want you in their life.
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I agree-- I hate it's like that but it is what it is.

We are in a reverie/ And everything you thought you knew isn't what it seems/ Only truth will set you free/ And I would never lie to you
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 09:52 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Captainmycaptain View Post
Most people are empty vessels that only like talking about themselves. If they are good looking enough, they will have no problem finding someone to hang out with, though. Vapid plus good looking is a slam dunk.
I feel like that's how it is tbh. I'm gonna try and open myself more but that's the best I can do. People always give me a hard time for being quiet but the conversations I have with people go nowhere. I have to pretty much force myself to be interested in them it's like they barely communicate back. I text first and they never text me first to talk about anything. Never ask to hang out, nothing.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong??? But this hold thing is just stressing me out and I hate it man.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-16-2019, 09:51 AM
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You just have to keep putting yourseld out there as well as hold standards as to who you look for in friends. If you try to be friends with someone ans dont meet your standards then you move on. Dont force yourself to connect with people just so you can say you have friends.

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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-16-2019, 10:10 AM
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The thing about it is you can't really dwell on it. You have to focus on building your life whether anyone else wants to be in it or not. You have to build an existence for yourself that you're not going to hate living in in the future. It's entirely possible that nothing will change as far as social status but you're gonna hate the future a lot more if you are not prepared for it financially and psychologically. And people will never avoid you more zealously than they will if you're obviously desperate in any way shape or form.

/WYSD
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-24-2019, 09:51 PM Thread Starter
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The thing about it is you can't really dwell on it. You have to focus on building your life whether anyone else wants to be in it or not. You have to build an existence for yourself that you're not going to hate living in in the future. It's entirely possible that nothing will change as far as social status but you're gonna hate the future a lot more if you are not prepared for it financially and psychologically. And people will never avoid you more zealously than they will if you're obviously desperate in any way shape or form.
I'm beginning to accept this and I see now that that's a better way to handle this further. I've always seen people be like "be more open" or "conquer your anxiety by trying to make friends" but that stuff is really hard. It's even harder when majority of the people you meet don't want to be friends further.

People seem to be pretty selective when making friends and honestly, I'm not dealing with that. I can't blame people on how they act. If I don't have that many friends in the future then I can't control that. I literally don't need the interactions. People keep wanting me to change when I was born this way and can't fix it.

Social interactions give me painful anxiety and I often avoid them so forcing myself to interact with others is something I hate. I'm gonna have to deal with that anxiety for the rest of my life as well. Pretty much no one understands that so I'm treated differently because people don't like anyone who even acts anyway different from them.

She was very beautiful. Kind, but sad.
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