How do you make friends and connect? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-30-2019, 09:58 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
andrew141's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: LA
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Posts: 357
My Mood: Confused

How do you make friends and connect?


I've always had this, but I have a very hard time making friends with people. I meet a lot of people, but I don't really have any friends. Most of the time they're only my friend in that situation, for example, work friends at work, friends in jiujitsu while training, but outside of that I cant really connect. There's always like an invisible wall that keeps us from getting closer, and most of the time the person just becomes a really good acquaintance. I only really have one friend, my cousin. Most of the people who I thought were my friends haven't checked up on me in the past months I've been isolated due to depression. I dont know what to do, or where I can meet people I'm more compatible with.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

Bepop
andrew141 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 10:23 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 671
Hmm, I'm just now thinking about this. I usually tell people to join some activity to meet people. You're doing that. But I think it's also good to have another interest to share with someone. So in your case, you're in Jiu Jitsu. If you only do Jiu Jitsu stuff with your Jiu Jitsu friends, that's not enough of an opportunity for an acquaintance to grow into a friendship. Now if you happened do Jiu Jitsu *and* liked certain bands (or liked watching basketball, or liked video games, or liked talking politics, or like learning arcane secrets of Jiu Jitsu, or whatever), then you can fish around for people with that other common interest. Then you can invite them to hangout to do the other thing and get to know them better.


So you may have to open up a little more about yourself so other people know more about your interests and hopefully they'll share their interests as well.
dre3 is offline  
post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 04:36 PM
We don't belong here.
 
iminnocentenough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Pennsylvania
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 991
My Mood: Innocent
Normally friendships form between people who are in close contact with one another mostly through work, school, or some sort of social activity. That being said, you can also form friendships online but they aren't as solid or meaningful as an in person friendship.

Need a friend or support? Send me a PM and I'll answer as soon as I can.

iminnocentenough is offline  
 
post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 04:51 PM
monk
 
andy1984's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: chch
Language: english, silence
Gender: Non-binary
Age: 34
Posts: 6,194
My Mood: Amazed
I hate meeting people and I cant connect with many. idk how it's meant to be an enjoyable thing.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
andy1984 is online now  
post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 08:38 AM
Desu!~
 
Nekomata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: England
Gender: Female
Age: 29
Posts: 5,167
My Mood: Brooding
I see people casually engaging in conversions in person and in groups and I just wonder 'how?!' How can people who don't know each other find things to talk about and become so close... its a mystery really xD
Nekomata is offline  
post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 02:11 AM
SAS Member
 
findyourself's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: phoenix
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,964
My Mood: Scared
I never had close friends. In my experience, friends have been nothing but torment. Every friend that I had in the past turned on me and started bullying me. Now, I suppose Iím jaded and disgusted at large groups of friends because I cannot relate in the slightest. I donít enjoy feeling obligated to do things and go places so I wonít be a good friend in the first place. Iím simply not interested in making friends. Iím sure it can be a wonderful thing for others but with my unique personality, it wonít work. I think friends are overrated.



I've been seeking happiness for years.
I've lived in hiding from the darkness.
I've spent so many hours in question.
I've prayed that God finds me soon.
Only to realize I must find myself.
findyourself is offline  
post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-18-2019, 04:57 PM
#SaveTheOA
 
SwtSurrender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Age: 29
Posts: 5,408
My Mood: Inspired
Join a meetup.com group.
SwtSurrender is offline  
post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-18-2019, 05:00 PM
#SaveTheOA
 
SwtSurrender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Age: 29
Posts: 5,408
My Mood: Inspired
@findyourself o hey, thank you for the friend request on facebook. We can hang
I mean, we can hang out at one of the meetup groups. I know a very sweet one, they give out lollipops.
SwtSurrender is offline  
post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2019, 02:21 AM
SAS Member
 
findyourself's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: phoenix
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,964
My Mood: Scared
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwtSurrender View Post
@findyourself o hey, thank you for the friend request on facebook. We can hang
I mean, we can hang out at one of the meetup groups. I know a very sweet one, they give out lollipops.
Or we can do something else..



I've been seeking happiness for years.
I've lived in hiding from the darkness.
I've spent so many hours in question.
I've prayed that God finds me soon.
Only to realize I must find myself.
findyourself is offline  
post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2019, 02:30 PM
#SaveTheOA
 
SwtSurrender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Age: 29
Posts: 5,408
My Mood: Inspired
Quote:
Originally Posted by findyourself View Post
Or we can do something else..
I disagree to agree, but I do like you.
SwtSurrender is offline  
post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-21-2019, 06:49 PM
#SaveTheOA
 
SwtSurrender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Age: 29
Posts: 5,408
My Mood: Inspired
Oh well in my situation I noticed I can really have friends when I feel good and don't give a **** about myself, I sort of forget myself and put my focus on other people. Well I noticed in my situation this friendship vibe without the wall works when I take antidepressants, which isn't really that drastic of a perspective but actually for me, it's a huge one. I guess you have to come to a point where you feel like this, like you want something and you will do whatever no matter who rejects you, you keep going. Invincible is one word for it.

And you say the people you've met and got to know haven't checked up on you, well that's bad, what you have to do is be in charge and take the initiative and check out on them. You have to do it when you feel good, or when you feel bad, but it's easier when you feel good. You have to check up on them, and it doesn't have to be 24/7 texting or hanging out, that's crazy, and would drive anyone away. I keep doing that with boyfriends and it's just madness. You just gotta show interest and join in hanging out outings here and there and make small talk and ask if you can hang out with each other. Stuff like that bro, it's pretty similar to how you hang out and behave with your family or your siblings or you cousin for instance. It's very hard when you feel like **** and like you don't deserve to do something, but once you do like moi, then you're pretty much normal.
SwtSurrender is offline  
post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-21-2019, 06:56 PM
SAS Member
 
I_Exist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 40
Posts: 3,475
I just have some acquaintances from work. I decided that I don't have slightest clue how people make and keep friends. I remember my school days, there was only a couple of people who I called friends. But now that I look back and examine those relationships, I now see them for what they were. Nothing.
I_Exist is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome