End Friendships on Purpose - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 08:27 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Sep 2019
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End Friendships on Purpose

I'm new here. I have been struggling with SAD/GAD/MDD since my teen years but formally diagnosed since 2015. I did some CBT and meds, which helped me.

I can never really keep friends. I don't really know how to keep them. I feel like at any moment someone might get close, they will see the fraud that I am and hate me and leave. So I tend to stop taking with people before they see me. I have been to therapy and it helped me a lot, but when it comes to making friends, having healthy boundaries, and building that platonic closeness, I still have a ways to go.

I've told a handful of people that I have SAD but they're often surprised because I'm good at seeming like I'm doing well. But it's taken work. I've gone though a period where I didn't want people to look at me or even touch my arm as a kind gesture, to being pretty good in work environments. It's not perfect and I sometimes regress. But the building meaningful relationships is non-existent. How have you managed this?
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 08:38 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Age: 35
Posts: 189
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Welcome! I hope the forum can help you.

I know what you mean about keeping SA to yourself. I think only my husband really knows the true depth of my anxiety. I keep it pretty well hidden. Sometimes I’ll be out with coworkers for an event and laugh and joke and all and then go home and be gripped with anxiety, shaking and scared. And then go back to work the next day like nothing happened- but feeling like I’ve got the worst hangover from anxiety.

I’m a bit more likely to tell my friends but m, I dunno, telling people makes me feel like I’m asking for pity or something. What would I get from telling my friends? I’m really asking.

It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls, for the times they are a changing.
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