End Friendships on Purpose
I'm new here. I have been struggling with SAD/GAD/MDD since my teen years but formally diagnosed since 2015. I did some CBT and meds, which helped me.
I can never really keep friends. I don't really know how to keep them. I feel like at any moment someone might get close, they will see the fraud that I am and hate me and leave. So I tend to stop taking with people before they see me. I have been to therapy and it helped me a lot, but when it comes to making friends, having healthy boundaries, and building that platonic closeness, I still have a ways to go.
I've told a handful of people that I have SAD but they're often surprised because I'm good at seeming like I'm doing well. But it's taken work. I've gone though a period where I didn't want people to look at me or even touch my arm as a kind gesture, to being pretty good in work environments. It's not perfect and I sometimes regress. But the building meaningful relationships is non-existent. How have you managed this?