Clinginess - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-30-2020, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Clinginess


Recently one of my friends has insisted she will plan her life around mine and try to spend it with me because she feels somewhat reliant on me with us being best friends. I plan on leaving this country for a few months for a job and she is considering trying to get the same job so we can be together. I try to tell her she does not need to do that and I want her to have her own life, but she keeps insisting this is what she wants, to do what I want. She has a fear of being alone to the extreme. How do I tell her nicely to please let me have my space, she is a very sensitive person and extremely nice, but I cannot stand the thought of being joined at the hip. Keep in mind this is not just wanting to move in together which would be fine, she plans to do this seemingly for the rest of her forseeable future
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-01-2020, 09:49 AM
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gee your friend sounds nice i wish i had friends like that
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-02-2020, 12:30 AM
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Honestly just setting boundaries would be good. She seems like she would be really lonely without you and don't know how she's gonna cope. She needs to learn how to love herself and be her OWN best friend.

Also, I second that you are lucky for having a best friend. Not to say that what you're experiencing isn't an issue. I just wish someone wanted to be around me and hang out with me to that extent, although I could imagine it can be tiring.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-09-2020, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irishkarl View Post
gee your friend sounds nice i wish i had friends like that
She is for sure and I am lucky to have her, but she is neglecting her own life at this point
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-09-2020, 05:50 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by brianlee99 View Post
Honestly just setting boundaries would be good. She seems like she would be really lonely without you and don't know how she's gonna cope. She needs to learn how to love herself and be her OWN best friend.

Also, I second that you are lucky for having a best friend. Not to say that what you're experiencing isn't an issue. I just wish someone wanted to be around me and hang out with me to that extent, although I could imagine it can be tiring.
Yes I'm very grateful for her and she's one of the only people I can fully be myself around. However I just wonder if either of us get partners and settle down, what that would mean. She has expressed interest in being my partner, and if I marry someone or she married someone, this arrangement would cause an issue and that's the main thing. We are both in our early 20s
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