My therapist said this would be a good idea, so here goes...
Hello, my name is Zack. I'm 31 years old. I've been struggling with depression and social anxiety for almost my entire life. Up until a year ago, I'd just been dealing with it the best I could. I finally had to seek treatment in the form of medication and therapy since it has worsened a great deal in the past few years.
I've lived quite an isolated life. In sixth grade, I begged and pleaded with my mom to homeschool me. What a mistake that was. I was homeschooled all the way through high school, so I've missed out on a lot of social experiences.
As I've mentioned, I'm 31. I've never had a girlfriend or even any female friends. Loneliness is my only companion.
I've been paralyzed by social anxiety on an almost daily basis, which has fed into my depression, which has made for a vicious cycle. I've thought about suicide a lot, at least once every day since I was about 15.
At 18, I got my first job at a grocery store. I was also going to community college at the time for something I didn't really care for. People ask me all the time, "Well what are you interested in?" in regards to schooling. I still don't have an answer. I don't have any interests, strange as it seems. But I went along with college for a while. Eventually got tired of it and stopped going.
I'm still at the grocery store this many years later. I've changed positions a few times, but I've been too scared to try to look for something else. After all, I have no skills or schooling. My parents have graciously allowed me to live at home all this time, for which I am grateful. Having supportive parents has been my only saving grace and the only reason I'm still alive.
I just feel like my life is at a dead end. I don't know what to do. I've been going to therapy and taking medication which has improved me a little, but I think I'm just fundamentally flawed in too many ways to live a normal life. I feel like there is no right answer for me.