I've overcome social anxiety!!! - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 09:59 AM Thread Starter
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I've overcome social anxiety!!!


From as early as I can remember I was "shy." As a little boy I felt uncomfortable around almost anyone, even close family (not my parents and siblings but everyone else). I had this feeling of trying to breath while someone was sitting on my chest. I couldn't think of anything to say yet alone hold a conversation. Then as I grew older and started taking interest in girls... well, that pretty much sucked. I lost my virginity at 21 and didn't get a real serious girlfriend until after college. Needless to say I was frustrated.

I'm 37 now and can honestly say I've overcome social anxiety. Really, I don't have much anxiety of any kind anymore. It's taken awhile (15 - 20 years) but I did it without drugs (stay away from these) and without going to a psychiatrist (I believe psychiatrists can help). It started when I figured out that I wasn't messed up but that I did have social anxiety (sometime between 17 and 20 I accepted this). Ultimately, it was a combination of 4 things. Meditation, reading books about anxiety and self-improvement, being healthy (eating right and exercising), and lastly having fun and being myself.

I want to help people overcome their anxiety and live an awesome life. Ultimately I want to teach people to have so much confidence that they don't have to put others down to make themselves feel good. Other people should fell that they are better for knowing you. I'm going to start a blog at some point but until then hit me up if you want to talk about getting better!!

"Hell on Earth would be to meet the man (or woman) you could have been." -- Unknown
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 10:09 AM
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I'm really happy to hear that you have overcome it! It gives hope to the rest of us that are still struggling, that it is possible to get better or at least to a manageable state. Thank you for sharing your experiance x
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Itsabouttime14 View Post

"Hell on Earth would be to meet the man (or woman) you could have been." -- Unknown
Jeese I just read that quote after I replied to the rest. It just made me have a gut wrench at the thought. Now I'm thinking lots about how I want to be the better version of myself not the worst one. It's a powerful quote ha.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 10:14 AM
aka john wick
 
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So what books have you read?
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 10:20 AM
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 01:21 PM
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Welcome, ItsAboutTime14!

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-13-2016, 01:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Itsabouttime14 View Post
I did it without drugs (stay away from these)... Ultimately I want to teach people to have so much confidence that they don't have to put others down to make themselves feel good.
Hi, welcome to SAS Kudos for overcoming social anxiety, it's a really difficult thing to do.

Please don't take this as a criticism but the quoted parts struck me as odd. I'm trying to make the most of my life and one of the ways I'm trying is by using anti-depressants. Telling people point blank to stay away from them is surely akin to putting other people down to make yourself feel good (eg 'I'm better than you because I didn't have to do this')? Unless of course you mean recreational drugs, in which case ignore me and I'm sorry for being over sensitive.

I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-14-2016, 07:11 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for writing lulu!! I appreciate the comments. That is my favorite quote by the way. Makes me think about my life every time I read it or post it. That said, the quote isn't meant to make anyone feel bad about their life as it is so I hope that's not the effect it had on you. I hope to inspire and help others think positively about themselves. Feel free to write to me anytime!
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-14-2016, 07:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by humblelulu View Post
Jeese I just read that quote after I replied to the rest. It just made me have a gut wrench at the thought. Now I'm thinking lots about how I want to be the better version of myself not the worst one. It's a powerful quote ha.
I had the exact reaction. Hard for me to challenge the idea that it's too late now. Consistency has never been one of my strong points. It'd be cool if you could join SA leagues (like sports leagues) with teams of players getting together for a game or two. I don't operate well at all going solo.

Great to hear you found a way through, OP. It must have taken some doing?

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-14-2016, 07:40 PM Thread Starter
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So I'm just learning how to use this forum. I was hoping my posts replies would end up under each of your posts. Is that possible? Any help would be great!

To answer your question Wicked. I've read a lot of books. Some have led me to others or have led me to seminars. Most of the books actually aren't on Social Anxiety. I used the internet to read about Social Anxiety and once I figured out that I had it I started reading self-improvement books. Here are some of my favorites:
"Drive" by Daniel H Pink
"I Believe" by Eldon Taylor
"The New Wellness Revolution" by Pilzer
"Now Discover Your Strengths" by Buckingham and Clifton
"Influence" by Robert Cialdini
"The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida
"Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill (Top 5 for me)
"Bold" by Diamonds and Kotler
"Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" by T Harv Ecker
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-14-2016, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
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Reply to The Welsh One


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Originally Posted by TheWelshOne View Post
Hi, welcome to SAS Kudos for overcoming social anxiety, it's a really difficult thing to do.

Please don't take this as a criticism but the quoted parts struck me as odd. I'm trying to make the most of my life and one of the ways I'm trying is by using anti-depressants. Telling people point blank to stay away from them is surely akin to putting other people down to make yourself feel good (eg 'I'm better than you because I didn't have to do this')? Unless of course you mean recreational drugs, in which case ignore me and I'm sorry for being over sensitive.
Great post TheWelshOne. I didn't take it as criticism at all. I appreciate the feedback. I don't want to sound like I'm better than anyone and I can see how you felt that way.
So first of all let me say that I'm not a doctor and have never taken any medical classes. So you should feel skeptical. And I certainly don't want you to stop taking anything because of my post. So let me just give you the reasons I stay away from any kind of drugs. I squirm every time I see a drug commercial and they list the side effects. Why is something that is supposed to help you causing so many other problems? Also, I don't think the drug manufacturers have our best interests in mind. Are the anti-depressants curing your problem or just keeping it at bay so you can stay on the drug for life? And they pressure our doctors to prescribe their medicines. Anyway, I could go on and on.
Another one of my favorite quotes (sorry for more quotes) is "nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it." Whatever meaning you give to the anti-depressants you take Welsh is the meaning it has. And you should never feel bad for that or let anyone make you feel bad for taking them. I hope you get a little bit out of my reply and just use it as more information into making yourself better! It's awesome that you are making the most of your life! I know you will. If you ever want to chat just hit me up! Good Luck!
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-14-2016, 08:06 PM Thread Starter
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Reply to Kesker


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Originally Posted by kesker View Post
I had the exact reaction. Hard for me to challenge the idea that it's too late now. Consistency has never been one of my strong points. It'd be cool if you could join SA leagues (like sports leagues) with teams of players getting together for a game or two. I don't operate well at all going solo.

Great to hear you found a way through, OP. It must have taken some doing?
It took a lot of doing Kesker, and it took awhile. But that shouldn't discourage you. My user name is actually a play on words. So 1. It's about time to change your life and 2. It does take a long "time" but only a few minutes a day to get better. I hope to help people realize the little ways they can get started and continue to get better. If you start small then things become second nature and they build on each other.
The first thing I would tell anyone is that making our minds stronger is the most important. That's were meditation comes in. I never wanted to meditate. I thought it was pointless and a waste of time. But I decided to try it on my own. I read some meditation books and experimented on my own. If you're interested in meditation I would tell you to start by trying to meditate for 3 seconds at a time. Do it once a day to start or more if you want. But do it once a day at least. Just try to think of nothing. Do this for as long as you want. One month, two months, 6 months. It will grow on it's own. Then try telling yourself positive things. Even if you don't believe them at first.
The one thing I can't do for you or anyone else is make you believe that you can get better. That's on you. And once you do, no matter what path you take you will get better. Hit me up anytime!!!
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