Wanted to introduce myself and also share some experiences because I'm just not feeling good right now. I feel like I need to let it all out; and even though I might not feel able to say it all, I'll say what I can.
Whenever I get anxious I get super self-centered. Kind of like a self preservation mode. Regardless, here's an experience I had today:
What are normal experiences for a lot of people are a huge ordeal to me. Going to the supermarket, for example, is the most nerve-racking thing ever. Since I went in I was already breathing fast, walking fast... At the same time I was trying to look as normal as I possible look and not like a super anxious crazy person.
The entire time there was a battle against my impulses. I saw 2 cute girls which I had to ignore, because it makes me even more anxious when I'm near them. I had this older lady ask me for help loading some boxes of water bottles onto her cart because I'm tall, but I was struggling to carry their weight. My arms trembled because of the weight, but also because of me not wanting to be judged for being too weak.
The experience overall wasn't too bad on paper but I felt so horrible the whole way through.
In all honesty though, I met an employee there that was pretty cool to me. I'll always appreciate that. Patted me on the back like I was his bro.
Anyway if you read thus far thanx. I thus award you a gluten free cookie