i don't know if i should be here, coz i haven't actually been diagnosed with sad, but i know that there's something wrong with me and i've been suffering with symptoms for years. i've read some of your blogs and the symptoms of the disease and it was really disturbing how your stories and the features of the disorder coincide with what i've been feeling for years. I'm really overweight, so i feel like that has a lot to do with it. it's gotten worse since i've been at college. i go to a college where people who are overweight/obese are in a very small majority--its ridiculous. it's gotten to the point where i become so anxious whenever i have to walk across campus and there are a lot of people outside. i've stopped going to the cafeteria for lunch because i can't be in such a large crowd of people in the caf who all look like they're staring at me with disgust (even though i know many of them probably are not). Sometimes if i'm a few minutes late to a class i decide to skip it coz i can't face the embarassment of walking in and having everyone look at me and then having to fit past everyone to get to my seat. i know that as long as i suffer from social anxiety and as long as i remain overweight, no one will ever love me and i will probably never get married and have kids--even though for years i dreamed of being a mother. just doesnt seem like its ever going to happen. i feel like i might have sad, but i know that i suffer from debilitating depressions as well--so it's like, which one is to blame? It could be both of them, but of course i don't know because i've never sought out help. I know i should, but something is holding me back--it scares me to think of going out and asking for help. i think maybe it might also be because i'm a psych major in college and maybe it will look bad for me if people knew how emotionally devasted i am and have been for years. i know that sounds stupid--anyone, even psychologists can suffer from mental illness. i know this, but yet i still hesitate. idk, i feel like i'm just rambling with no semblance of organization. oh well, it's more than i've ever been able to do face-to-face.