Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2007, 03:05 PM Thread Starter
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Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


Hi All,

I just found this site today. I've been reading through some posts and am blown away that so many people are out there with the same terrible anxiety that I experience. I always felt so alone with this.

For years I functioned like a mostly normal person while feeling like a fraud because I didn't FEEL normal. I always thought I was weird, different, awkward and sabotaged myself with anorexia, excessive exercise, cutting etc. Only if I was hurting myself did I feel good enough to socialize with others, if that makes any sense.

I finally worked my way through the anorexia, but started experiencing terrible anxiety and derealization/depersonalization in my early 20's - I thought I was going crazy and would never feel "grounded" and normal again.

Over the years I got better; I always felt a little awkward and had some problems with stress but self-medicated, and was accepted socially and profesionally. Recently though the anxiety has come back, a result of stopping benzodiazepenes which I had become dependent on. For 6 months my life has spiraled; I really thought I would lose my job and I've lost contact with most friends.

A few weeks ago I started taking Paxil and looking into other treatments for anxiety and panic (cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation). The Paxil seems to be helping as my near-daily panic attacks and constant general anxiety have subsided. Social situations are now bearable...my hands are cold but not dead-white and shaking after any sort of social interaction.

Anyway I am so glad to have found this friendly and supportive group and look forward to healing from SA and panic, and helping others do the same.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2007, 03:10 PM
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2007, 04:13 PM
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place



"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -Hunter S. Thompson
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2007, 08:38 PM
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


The thread starter's picture looks hot. Hope you look like that.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-15-2007, 10:39 PM Thread Starter
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


Sure that's a pic of me, at my friend's wedding. Looks are so weird. Even if people say I look good, I don't believe it. Thank you anyway though.

I have to look at a pic and squint and try to think I look OK. Mostly I think people must be staring, I look fat-fat-fat, gross, I don't care if other people are overweight but if I am I'll just die. I think it's partly because guys like to comment on weight so much but that's probably just my perception.

I KNOW looks don't really matter, it's about WHO you are. I completely totally believe that. So why did I put my pic up then? Because I wanted to be completely honestly showing who I am. I'm scared (so far) to go to a real-life therapy group, but putting my pic online and talking about this is harder than staying anonymous.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-16-2007, 12:48 AM
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-16-2007, 01:57 AM
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


Welcome to the board! I, too, always felt alone until I found this.

Well, it seems that you're taking every possible step to fight SA which is very good for you. Knowing yourself and about the things you're suffering from is very important.

What does "lunareclipse" mean?

Good luck!

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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-16-2007, 11:11 AM
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


You are definitely gorgeous
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-16-2007, 05:16 PM
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-17-2007, 03:47 AM
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You're pretty, LunarEclipse!
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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-17-2007, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


Thanks for the welcome & support everybody!
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-18-2007, 01:59 AM
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Re: re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


Quote:
Originally Posted by lunareclipse
Sure that's a pic of me, at my friend's wedding. Looks are so weird. Even if people say I look good, I don't believe it. Thank you anyway though.

I have to look at a pic and squint and try to think I look OK. Mostly I think people must be staring, I look fat-fat-fat, gross, I don't care if other people are overweight but if I am I'll just die. I think it's partly because guys like to comment on weight so much but that's probably just my perception.

I KNOW looks don't really matter, it's about WHO you are. I completely totally believe that. So why did I put my pic up then? Because I wanted to be completely honestly showing who I am. I'm scared (so far) to go to a real-life therapy group, but putting my pic online and talking about this is harder than staying anonymous.
YOU LOOK GOOD! honestly, guys dont like a girl who's real skinny either, and judging from that picture, even if you gained a bit weight, you could still be in the relm of 'pretty hot'
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-19-2007, 03:23 PM
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


Again welome.

It sounds like things are improving for you. From your comments it sounds as though this site will be a help to you but your own drive to overcome any fears you have is what really makes the difference. Your honesty and desire to overcome what has been weighing you down is very impressive and you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to face your problems.

Good luck.
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-22-2007, 04:35 AM
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 07:44 AM
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Hey there like u, I have been suffering quietly for years trying to cope as best as i could and it caught up wit me eventually becoming unbearable and overwhelming so I dropped out of my part time job and University i was studying at.
It's unfortunate that u had to cut ureself to cope wit it, alot of us have different coping mechanisms mine was alcohol which i drank ecessively so I cud socialize easier. And lik u i am also happy to of found this webpage Gud luk...

God is love..
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 12:19 PM
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re: Hello, I'm so glad to have found this place


Welcome to the group. I can relate to a lot of what you typed as well. Finding others that are feeling the same way is half the battle. (In my too humble opinion)
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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 04-02-2007, 04:56 PM
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"The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country".

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