Hello all. Long time lurker, first time poster. Not really sure where I'm meant to start? I've had social anxiety my whole life. When I was a kid I had what I'm told was selective mutism, mostly in school. I grew out of that particular issue by the time I was a teenager but my anxiety remained present as ever. I just feel completely useless in life. I don't really have anyone to talk to and I just don't really know what to do at this point. I just don't feel like a functional human... I can't take care of myself, I can't work, I can't even make a doctors appointment for myself. I just hate myself so much. I try to force myself to do things, to go out more, go to interviews, I've been trying to talk myself into therapy for months now and I'm almost convinced. But then I second guess it because I don't feel like I have anything to talk about... I mean I know I have anxiety, clearly that's the problem at hand, I just don't have words. I feel like my brain is just empty most the time. I can never think of anything to say to anyone. Yes, no, thank you... that's about it. I don't even know what I'm doing here right now. If I'm looking for advice or just need to vent... I just can't take being trapped inside my head much longer.