I just found this site and need the interaction with others who understand what I'm dealing with. There really isn't a therapist that deals with Social Anxiety in our area. I've dealt with SAD since probably age 4, diagnosed at around age 33 or so. Finally started meds at age 40. I'm now 46, have a husband with a completely opposite personality that I do, so he really does not understand (although he does try sometimes). I have 3 beautiful kids--we are homeschooling and I am sure that my youngest (boy) has SAD.
I opened a teacher store nearly 4 years ago. It grew too fast and was financially struggling, but this year our website crashed and I just closed the store at the end of Sept. and now dealing with bankruptcy issues. Besides the stress of the final accounting and gathering info, I'm OK with the bankruptcy. What I'm really struggling with is my husband is happy the store is gone. I just have so many different emotions and I feel like my purpose in life is gone--my other goals and dreams are dead--I'm already bored at home--the depression is back and the dosage of Effexor is obviously not enough to help me keep up in dealing with all of this. Needless to say, my main triggers are also acting up--I can't answer the phone or make phone calls and I'm getting more and more that I don't want to leave the house--my sleep is disrupted because I keep forgetting to take the Effexor until later than my usual routine--and recently I've started making suicide plans again.
I'm really sorry for the bummer of an introduction. When I am the real me, I am the ultimate optimist and everything is possible. But I'm at the bottom again and nothing seems worth the effort--except my kids. Sometimes I just want to give up anyway, but I don't want to screw them up. I love them with all my heart!
Anyway, tomorrow has got to be better I hope. Thanks for listening. It helps just to be able to express what's going on so I can see in print what is real and what is a lie from my mind.