Guess I just want to vent - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-05-2019, 01:39 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2019
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Guess I just want to vent

Hi everyone, I've run out of people to talk to so I figured I'd try an old school forum. I'm turning 25 soon and the older I get the lonelier I become and it's just so draining. I'm pretty sure I have some sort of undiagnosed depression or anxiety, but I can't even bring myself to go to a therapist to sort it all out.

I'm close with my parents and a few of my younger cousins, but don't really have anyone my own age. Once I stopped going to school I drifted apart from all the people I grew up with. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but I can't help but feel jealous when I go online and see them all reaching life milestones like getting married or starting good careers. Or even small things like going out for drinks or to the movies. I live in a very small town and there aren't many ways to meet new people. I get most of my social interaction at my retail job where most of our customers are seniors.

I have a few online friends, but it's not quite the same when you can't hang out with them in person. One of them I'd consider my best friend, but lately I can't help but feel like a nuisance and that our friendship is turning one sided. They have a job that keeps them busy, which I understand can be stressful, but they seem to be able to make time for their "real life" friends. It hurts me and makes me feel like I don't matter as much, but I don't know how to bring it up without sounding needy or clingy. I suggested we meet up this summer, something we've done regularly over the years, and the conversation ends up in the air with no real confirmation or rejection on their end.

I don't know what to do anymore. Life has just become so monotonous. I wish I could move to a big city and start over, but just the thought of everything that needs to happen to get there fills me with anxiety. Even writing this I can feel the knot in my throat building.
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-05-2019, 02:58 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A Fruitloop Daydream
Gender: Male
Posts: 175,483
Hey daftcrafter, welcome to SAS.

Even if our scars donít match thereís no wrong you canít make better if you can figure out a way to change your mind.

And sure thereís things I regret not doing or doing. Those thoughts climb my spine like spiders, and then Iím really the stranger in my own bed,

and that ball of nervous gets pushed into every crack. Thatís whatís holding the bricks together.

- Listener
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