21 year old desperately lonely - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-11-2017, 03:23 PM Thread Starter
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21 year old desperately lonely


Iím a 21 year old guy who has no friends and has no clue how to socialize with other people. I am so lonely and havenít had a friend for over 8 years now. Iím in my last year at university and have started to talk to a therapist about how Iím feeling and how to approach things, she recommended posting on some forums so thatís why Iím here.

Iíve always been shy as a kid but when I went into secondary school (around 13) I was bullied really badly everyday. No one would talk to me, sit next to me or even acknowledge me unless they were calling me names or harassing me some other way. I thought that after I left school and went onto university I would get over my sadness and anxiety and become a new me but despite all my efforts I just couldnít.

I feel so trapped by my anxiety, no matter where I go I always feel like someone is looking at me and judging me negatively and no matter what I say I feel like Iíve always said the wrong thing. I really want to be able to do simple everyday things like going out for a walk or going to the gym without feeling like everyone is judging me but I canít help it and it really stops me from doing so much in life.

From talking with my therapist she believes Iíve developed ptsd from all the bullying I went through for so long. It makes me feel so ashamed that Iíve let it control and affect my life so much to the point where I donít even have one, I feel like a stranger to myself when Iím out in public and even sometimes when Iím by myself it feels like Iím nothing.

All I want is to be able to live my life, do things normal people do without worry, have friends to talk to when Iím happy or sad, have relationships and learn about who I am as a person.

Sorry for the long post I donít even know if this is the right place to post this please redirect me if itís not, if anyone has any advice for me or wants to talk about anything feel free, maybe someone is going through something similar an we could help each other out. Thanks for reading.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-11-2017, 03:47 PM
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Welcome to the community! You posted in the right spot don't worry, I'm glad you took the first step. Definitely look around and try to hop in on some topics to help get settled in and feel free to take your time getting accustomed here. The people here are very understanding and I hope you can keep improving upon your situation. =)

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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-14-2017, 04:45 PM
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Hello, and welcome to the community. Seeing as we have similar problems, I'll send you a friend request. Feel free to talk to me whenever... I don't have any friends.

"Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere."
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-14-2017, 05:12 PM
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I found posting here pretty helpful in getting used to socialising and learning how to chat to people. I had to take little steps that didn't make me too anxious and once I got comfortable with posting here I was more comfortable with posting in other places online and chatting to people in real life as well.

It's important to avoid getting sucked in to the negative parts of the forum though (like posts where people are mean or post depressing things over and over without wanting to fix them).

I'm also desperately lonely and it hurts my chest.

hello I am anna I like patting bumbleebess and playing detective and I want tummypats pleas
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-14-2017, 06:13 PM
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i was in kinda similiar situation as you, joining a gym/boxing gym helped me alot in gaining confedence.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-14-2017, 06:53 PM
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Hi, welcome Sorry you've gone through all that and that you're so lonely. I can relate.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-14-2017, 09:22 PM
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Hi all, I'm new here too. I'm 38, good job but no friends. I feel that isolation. I have no one to talk to either. No friends, nothing. I did join a gym. One older lady - walker and all- says hi. I don't see her much, but even a smile from her helps. I can relate to your pain too. I don't know why this happens to so many of us
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-15-2017, 06:21 PM
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Hi John,
First of all, I'm really sorry to hear that you went through those tough experiences, especially with bullying. It makes me really upset when I hear about it because nobody, not a single person, has a right to make someone feel bad about themselves, there's no excuse for that. And I'm going through exactly what you're talking about, isolation. I've been going through that my whole life. I wake up in the morning, same old routine, I have nobody to talk to except my parents. So, I get it when you say you feel like nothing, it's like you try so hard to be accepted but nobody seems to care or appreciate you. At least that's what's happening to me, it feels like nobody appreciates me and you wonder what's the point then? You said you're 21..well I'm 19 so we're not that far apart in age. John, I'm offering my friendship to you; if you want someone to talk to as a friend, I'll listen to you. Like I said, I don't have anybody either so it would be a pleasure for me to be able to open up to you as well. Please don't hesitate to write me if you want someone to talk to. I'll be your friend.
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