I'm going to come off as indecisive but I always thought that if I was able to meet someone and that partner wanted children, then perhaps I'd be OK with it—if and only if I manage to calm my anxiety by that point.
Right now, not being able to even take care of myself, I don't think being a parent is on my eventual to-do list considering my situation....
I think it's something you can't just walk into just because "you want to" or because everyone around you has done the same. We don't live in some 80's TV drama--or at least, I don't.
Maybe I don't get to say that and the reality will be that no couple is every truly prepared for everything (nor has good reason for wanting kids), but I feel you need something good going for you to wind up truly able to have kids.
For me, it's not having SA. I cannot confidently say I'll be able to raise my child properly and be there for them when they need me. There's countless situations I recall not being attentive to my relatives and situations where I suppose I behaved inappropriately. Unless I accrue enough experience by that point, I don't think my current track record of failed social attempts and limited understanding of relationships/emotions/psyche will prepare me enough even at a basic/human level.
A child needs a good role-model. Not someone perfect, but someone who will show them how to do things properly, someone to guide them, and someone to lean on. I don't posses traits that would be good for any of that. I'm caring and thoughtful, but that only goes so far. I still can't handle confrontations. I lack fundamental understanding of societal norms. I would be likely to pass on those traits/conditions to my kids if they saw me fail more than once (which is likely).
This is why I say that I would need to concur or settle with my SA in some form. I don't want to run the risk of having my kid go through the crap I did. I would want them to live a normal life (no offense).
In short, I don't believe in having kids on a whim and then figuring out the hard stuff later. I like to make sure I'm somewhat secure and ready enough to dive into that lifestyle (both mentally and otherwise).
“Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ...
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human