Would you have formal wedding? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 05:17 PM Thread Starter
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Would you have formal wedding?


If you were getting married would you have a formal wedding? For me, I'd rather just elope somewhere or get married at a courthouse! Weddings to me are just stressful, and a waste of money. It's amazing to me how much money a wedding costs for the short amount of time it lasts. The money could be spent on a vacation, buying or renovating a home to live in together or even on future children (if you decided to have children or adopt)!

I've only been to about 6 weddings, surprisingly.

To me a lot of weddings these days are just done to show off how many friends or how affluent or well connected somebody is by who they invite or how many bridesmaids or guests they have. There would be no point to me to have a wedding, I don't have that many friends or people to invite, unlike these big weddings you see pictures of on Facebook.

Also I had two friends that got married. There was a very long wedding ceremony (probably an hour!) and then it was almost another hour to the reception, and they had it catered and had a limo, a honeymoon and a brand new house to come home to. But the wedding ended up with a divorce about 2 years later.

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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 05:26 PM
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One word. NO.

NO WEDDINGS, NO GIRLFRIEND, NO SEX, NO KIDS... NOTHING OF THAT CRAP I WILL EVER HAVE IN MY LIFE. IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR ME TO HAVE IT. EXCEPT FOR SEX I DON'T EVEN WANT ANYTHING OF THAT... JUST NO. I WON'T EVER NEED THAT...

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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 05:33 PM
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Nope. **** our awful families. We're going to file the papers on my 18th birthday and tell our parents after.
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 05:36 PM
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No, the thought of trying to talk in front of all those people makes me ill. Plus seems like an enormous waste of money. I'd rather spend it on something real and permanent rather than something that lasts a few hours.
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 01:39 AM
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Yes, but I would want it to be small, and I wouldn’t want to have to say much.

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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 01:44 AM
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I don't plan to ever wed, but would definitely want a huge celebration if I changed my mind

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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 01:45 AM
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Originally Posted by ShotInTheDark View Post
One word. NO.

NO WEDDINGS, NO GIRLFRIEND, NO SEX, NO KIDS... NOTHING OF THAT CRAP I WILL EVER HAVE IN MY LIFE. IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR ME TO HAVE IT. EXCEPT FOR SEX I DON'T EVEN WANT ANYTHING OF THAT... JUST NO. I WON'T EVER NEED THAT...
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 02:04 AM
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I agree that weddings are a colossal waste of time and money. Plus they're basically big social events which I absolutely hate.

I'm actually kind of diametrically opposed to weddings on several levels other than just never wanting to be married and hating social events. I'm a very casual person, so formal occasions just irritate me. I really dislike the frilly decorations they typically use for weddings, with all the white and pink, ribbons and lace and stuff. Ick. And those tacky white lights everywhere too. I hate emotional speeches and I hate dancing. Even the food is typically too fancy for my tastes. Plus I hate having to wear a monkey suit for ANYTHING, or even just a shirt and tie -- if I'm going to have to be somewhere for hours then I damned well better be able to wear a T-shirt and jeans! Especially at an event that is thrown at least in part for me!

I've only ever been to four receptions that I can recall -- because Mormons have these weird private wedding ceremonies that most people can't actually attend. But I can't imagine that more "normal" weddings are much better. I'm glad that I'm well past the age that people I know have gotten married; if I never attend another wedding it'll be too soon.

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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 02:11 AM
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If it ever happened for me, reality probably would be out in nature with chairs, tables, few people.

Yeah, copying a wedding of someone I know. But was simple, beautiful.


But if an ideal scenario, Palace of Versailles and with this dress at 1:38+.

 


I feel weird even thinking about things like this, but yeah.
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 03:48 AM
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We had a fairly formal wedding. My wife's Italian so it was sort of expected - although we didn't have to have a church one, which was something. We still had the big white cars and flowers and everything else though - it scared the living daylights out of me.

I'd taken enough medication to knock out half the people there - and I was still scared stiff. Not something I'd recommend for someone with anxiety issues. I would have much preferred a very small one in a garden somewhere with just a few people.
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 03:54 AM
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Small themed wedding at halloween, corpse bride & I'd have a shovel to pretend I just dug her up.






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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 04:03 AM
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I can't see myself ever getting married. Since it is a fairly pointless ritual that involves making promises that you could just as easily make without it. I don't imagine I will ever actually be in a relationship again either. And I would probably only be in a relationship with someone who also isn't interested in the whole marriage concept. So one way or another, I don't think so.

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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 05:19 AM
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It's fun attending other people's weddings, but I don't think I'd want one for myself. I don't plan to marry - in the off chance that I do, I'd probably just have a small courthouse wedding with the necessary witnesses to process the paperwork, and avoid the whole song and dance. As the would-be bride, it's just way too much pressure, work, attention, and money.
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 05:26 AM
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I don't really like marriage from a legal perspective, but regardless I'd probably prefer to do something free/cheap and weird. Not sure what, some esoteric/creative peculiar thing. Rituals are fun to me but only if they're weird. Really don't like family get togethers, very awkward and that whole thing just seems stressful and an obligation, which isn't exactly what I want to be doing/thinking about at that time. I don't see it as joining two families or any of that archaic stuff anyway.
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 08:40 AM
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Small themed wedding at halloween, corpse bride & I'd have a shovel to pretend I just dug her up.

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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 09:00 AM
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Being the centre of attention at a big formal wedding would just be horrific.
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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 10:48 AM
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Yes because I always wanted one but then no because I wouldn’t want to be the center of attention..when I was little I couldn’t even do public speeches in class I would literally cry lol and even one time when I used to go to college I had to do a speech and my voice was breaking and almost near crying and the professor had to stop me and take me outside lmao I can’t even make phone calls I start to panic ..I’m a mess.
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 10:55 AM
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As long as I'm able to wear my robe and lightsaber.


So, probably not.
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 11:12 AM
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Yes because I always wanted one but then no because I wouldn’t want to be the center of attention..when I was little I couldn’t even do public speeches in class I would literally cry lol and even one time when I used to go to college I had to do a speech and my voice was breaking and almost near crying and the professor had to stop me and take me outside lmao I can’t even make phone calls I start to panic ..I’m a mess.
Well on the plus side everyone's nervous and panicky on their wedding day. So you don't have to feel embarrassed, it's an expected and socially acceptable time to be a mess.
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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 12:05 PM
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hm possibly but only for my future-wife if she wants it. I'd want to have people I'm comfortable with there, so that would be maybe 10 people. possibly including my dad, but I'd rather not have any other family there. but yeah I guess future-wife would want her big family and many friends there which would be a bit overwhelming. I'd go along with it for her and because her family is nice. or maybe shes like me and her family isn't coming, just close friends, thatd be cool. and we can arrive on hover bikes, while fleeing from the climate conflict, zooming past the looters and derelict buildings.

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