Why aren't there many parents on here? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 05:56 PM Thread Starter
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Why aren't there many parents on here?


I'm a mom. I have anxiety. Coming from a community where people suffer from social anxiety, as do I, it feels like sorry we can't relate, so f off. Really guys?
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 06:01 PM
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This forum is pretty inactive now but for most of the forum history the main demographic were people in their late teens and 20s and also people with mental health issues. Many posters here have never had relationships or serious relationships as well and people with anxiety issues are probably less likely to have kids on average as well. There have been a few parents here though.

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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 07:29 PM
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I'm a mom. I have anxiety. Coming from a community where people suffer from social anxiety, as do I, it feels like sorry we can't relate, so f off. Really guys?
I'm a parent - my son is 27. There are one or two others but very few.

If I'm honest I'd say this forum isn't really all that great for parents or people that like children in general - or even other people for that matter. It's sort of complicated but it seems to largely be a coping mechanism for many here to account for their lack of life experience/life skills.

I'm sorry that that's a bit rude - but I'd say it's a fairly realistic appraisal of the situation, from what I've seen over the years anyway.

Edit: not always the case obviously, but it's fairly prevalent here.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 01:12 AM
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Becoming a parent requires a degree of interpersonal skills most of us lack (for finding a mate, navigating the adoption system, or finding the nerve to go to the doctor for IVF... and also being willing to tolerate all the social challenges that raising a child entails).

Welcome, though.

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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
for most of the forum history the main demographic were people in their late teens and 20s
I think the remnants of those people make up most of the forum today, but are in their late 20s to 40s now. The average age feels much older than it used to.

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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 02:52 AM
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Quote:
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Becoming a parent requires a degree of interpersonal skills most of us lack (for finding a mate, navigating the adoption system, or finding the nerve to go to the doctor for IVF... and also being willing to tolerate all the social challenges that raising a child entails).

Welcome, though.



I think the remnants of those people make up most of the forum today, but are in their late 20s to 40s now. The average age feels much older than it used to.
Yeah I just meant historically at this point I think there are too few people to really make comments.

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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 03:20 AM
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Quote:
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I think the remnants of those people make up most of the forum today, but are in their late 20s to 40s now. The average age feels much older than it used to.

My guess is the demography if late teens and 20s nowadays are more so interacting on twitter or community texting apps. Forums are mostly an obsoleting outlet for Millennials or older.

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Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 10:00 AM
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maybe parents dont have time to mope about on SAS.

they're all probably on howtonotkillmychild.com. priorities!

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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 10:53 AM
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Well people with children have probably had to be consistently sociable at some point in their lives to even become a parent, most here aren't at that level.

That's not to say mental health conditions can't worsen over time or that the suffering is any less of someone that is a parent.






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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 03:02 PM
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That would involve me having sex with someone, which is an idea so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 03:26 PM
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 04:32 PM
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I'm a step parent of an adult who's far far surpassed anything I've ever accomplished. It's an odd sort of existence parenting when you have social anxiety and panic attacks etc. You learn to compartmentalize and internalize and persevere and if all else fails, fake your way through. It's doable and fulfilling. It feels good to be close to someone and in many instances feel comfortable with them. It gets really hard when the obligatory responsibilities of socializing with your child's circle of friends and acquaintances and friends' parents etc become a common part of your day. Feel free to reach out if you're so inclined. Sorry, I didn't exactly address the question. Just wanted you to know that there are a few of us out here.

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 05:50 PM
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You’re still welcome here if people can’t relate because they’re not parents.

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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 06:29 AM
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We exist, but on this forum the threads specifically discussing parenting children have at times been met with antinatalism which in general, only makes those of us that do have kids not likely to discuss them. It only makes sense, we are on a mental health forum and many people here feel miserable and feel that creating any form of life is unethical. It is unfortunate though, because having kids and SA brings about a host of issues that I'm sure many parents would like to discuss and receive advice for. As for me, I bring mine up every now and then, but avoid these threads most of the time.

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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
This forum is pretty inactive now but for most of the forum history the main demographic were people in their late teens and 20s and also people with mental health issues. Many posters here have never had relationships or serious relationships as well and people with anxiety issues are probably less likely to have kids on average as well. There have been a few parents here though.
Is the forum dead now? Bummer...I just registered recently but I'll have to look for another one i guess. I'd been on this forum many years ago and expected to resume with the same level of activity. oh well.
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 08:56 PM
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Is the forum dead now? Bummer...I just registered recently but I'll have to look for another one i guess. I'd been on this forum many years ago and expected to resume with the same level of activity. oh well.
I don't think there are really any active equivalent forums for social anxiety now, this was previously the most active and now they're all kind of inactive. Social media is just more popular now.

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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 08:59 AM
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I'm not a parent but my late father had severe anxiety also and I've recently found out he fathered several other kids that were given up for adoption.

Phew.

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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 01:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
I'm a parent - my son is 27. There are one or two others but very few.

If I'm honest I'd say this forum isn't really all that great for parents or people that like children in general - or even other people for that matter. It's sort of complicated but it seems to largely be a coping mechanism for many here to account for their lack of life experience/life skills.

I'm sorry that that's a bit rude - but I'd say it's a fairly realistic appraisal of the situation, from what I've seen over the years anyway.

Edit: not always the case obviously, but it's fairly prevalent here.
Yep, in general It seems like most people here hate people. Posters on here tend to be the kind that wants to limit childbirths to no more than 1 per woman if that

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Is the forum dead now? Bummer...I just registered recently but I'll have to look for another one i guess. I'd been on this forum many years ago and expected to resume with the same level of activity. oh well.
Sad!

The world is quiet here.

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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 01:42 PM
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Yep, in general It seems like most people here hate people. Posters on here tend to be the kind that wants to limit childbirths to no more than 1 per woman if that



Sad!
Hi mate - hope you're doing okay.

I've noticed the same thing on one other mental health place - it was a Facebook group, an Avoidant Personality Disorder group. They did the same thing.

The way I interpret it is that they've turned the fear into rage and anger - it's probably easier to hate people and group them all together than to address their own shortcomings and fear.

I could be wrong though, I'm no shrink. (I've spoken to quite a few though)

I've never seen it on other places like bipolar forums or groups. Their lives most likely have been impacted very differently by their mental health issues though and they have still often been able to have relationships, jobs etc. So the resentment isn't there as much.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 07:19 PM
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I never said I hated anyone, nor do I have rage or anger issues ....only logical thought preside's over my psyche.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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