When You Feel at Your Best Do You have the Urge to Self Destruct? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-23-2020, 08:23 PM Thread Starter
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When You Feel at Your Best Do You have the Urge to Self Destruct?

I find that when I feel great--when I've had a good day and my mood is relatively stable and I'm......ok, I have an overwhelming urge to sabotage myself by drinking or drugging or....finding anything that will tear the good feeling apart. It makes no sense.

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

~bad baby

"Daisy, may I ask why you're holding Miss Sybil's biscuit jar?"
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-23-2020, 09:21 PM
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I don't have that. If I've had a "good" day, I'll start thinking things like: "This is just the calm before the storm, something terrible is going to happen," and I'll start getting increasingly anxious, because I know that if something good does happen, it usually means something awful is going to come along to wipe it out. And since something bad always does happen, because more bad things happen to me than good things, no self-sabotage is required, lol.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-23-2020, 11:13 PM
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Do you feel you don't deserve a good day? Or that you're somehow betraying your normal miserable self by being happy?

I guess I'm pretty good at enjoying good days for what they are, unless they involve potential future commitments to worry about.

Play The Social Anxiety Game

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-24-2020, 03:36 AM
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Humans make no sense. Everything we do is weird.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-24-2020, 07:12 AM
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Yeah if we're not destroying each other we're generally low key destroying ourselves anyway, maybe that's why people stay in abusive or bad relationships, damned if you do damned if you don't : /

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-24-2020, 10:42 AM
Not like the other ducks
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'when you feel at your best'

I'll let you know if that ever happens

Originally Posted by YouTube comment
Yet another man lost to irony poisoning, cynicism, hyper-self awareness and the inability to be sincere.

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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-24-2020, 07:04 PM
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I'm the opposite - when my anxiety is so bad its literally tearing a hole in my ****ing chest and I can't deal I'm just like **** it what's the point of anything and I just want to self destruct. I usually don't have booze around and don't have access to drugs so it manifests itself in other ways, i.e. isolating myself, anger, not being a good friend / coworker / son etc. It just overpowers me.

too scared to live; too scared to die
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-25-2020, 01:17 AM
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I'm at my best right now, and unfortunately this is where I get complacent and eat/slack too much. Enjoy the lull before the next calamity hits.
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