What was your favourite age? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 04:48 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Maslow View Post
I had a brief window in my early 40s where I felt good about myself and had high expectations and hopes for my future, including my career and social life... I guess it was ages 40-42. It just didn't work out.
I think even in my 40's I sort of sensed that that wasn't going anywhere. After I finished my degree I got a job with Australian Customs because I could speak a fair bit of Indonesian but I couldn't handle it at all. I was still taking quite a high dose of Xanax just to get there, get through the training etc.

I joke that I must have been the worst Custom's Officer they ever had but I'm not really joking. I was hopeless at it. I don't think I'm too good with jobs where you have to do something very serious like that - like finding drugs. It was a shame though because I met some nice people there.

I think I just look back at that time very fondly because of my family life mainly - it was nice to be living with my wife and son - and also because you're not yet considered "old" and you don't look it yet. So part of it is vanity.

Of course in reality things were actually hard back then - it's very different looking back on something to how it was when we actually went through it at the time.
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post #22 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 04:53 PM Thread Starter
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I'm surprised at the answers. Mine is probably between 7 and 12 or so. Not a worry in the world. The few memories I have of this period are all heavenly. At that age the world is still full of magic and adventure.
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Childhood before I turned 8. Back before the move that made me bitter and jaded, before I ever had to make "new" friends. Specifically 6-7 when a girl and I played at "boyfriend and girlfriend" at school. Probably rose-colored glasses but I'm okay with that.
Yes I thought a number of people would say their childhood. I'm 60 so my childhood seems so long ago it feels like a few lifetimes tbh. It was a lovely time though if I think back to it.
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post #23 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 05:12 PM Thread Starter
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Probably before school started, but I don't remember that time. It's hard to pick an entire year tbh, more like specific events or maybe days or weeks. I guess I'll go with 7. After that probably 18/19.

Edit: actually 6/7 the thing is I remember things more in terms of academic years, and my birthday is about half way through that.
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Probably around 8-9? At least looking back. It's hard to remember but I played soccer then and I was awesome at it (because I wasn't the smallest and weakest on the team yet) and I had some fun times with teammates. I got to have a short haircut which I liked a lot better than my shoulder length hair. I still went to summer camp which was fun, although it was maybe better around 7-8. (By 9-11 things change. Kids start telling you that you can't have friends of the opposite sex without liking them romantically and stuff and I never coped well with that.) I was the near perfect daughter, student, etc. I was quiet but people were willing to let that slide, back then.
I really loved that time for my son - when kids are that age there's not much sense of themselves yet. There's no self-consciousness. At least there wasn't for the kids I saw around my son. It's a lovely time - and it's a shame in a sense that has to change.
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post #24 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 05:25 PM
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Childhood before I turned 8. Back before the move that made me bitter and jaded, before I ever had to make "new" friends. Specifically 6-7 when a girl and I played at "boyfriend and girlfriend" at school. Probably rose-colored glasses but I'm okay with that.
Yeah I can relate. I have a fond memory in Grade 1 when I was playing boyfriend and girlfriend with a girl. I remember getting kissed on the back of my jumper because I was too shy and wanted to run away. That was at a time before my family fell apart. I think I moved about 8-9 times after that. Making friends was really hard and if I ever started to get close, we usually ended up moving.
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post #25 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 08:30 PM
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I really peaked as a 1 year old
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post #26 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 09:45 PM
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My age now, 26.
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post #27 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 01:28 AM
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I really peaked as a 1 year old

No you didn't I saw that picture of you as a child

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post #28 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 01:34 AM
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5 or 6 maybe.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #29 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 01:42 AM
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I really peaked as a 1 year old
....A year earlier than me, impressive, I had my mid-life crisis when I was 5, stole my sister's pink bike & wrecked it over a ramp, was all washed up by 8, was hitting the Kool aid pretty hard, I don't know how I survived this long, tough SOB is all : /






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #30 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 01:49 AM
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I really loved that time for my son - when kids are that age there's not much sense of themselves yet. There's no self-consciousness. At least there wasn't for the kids I saw around my son. It's a lovely time - and it's a shame in a sense that has to change.
Unfortunately I've been somewhat mentally ill my whole life, and school was very anxiety inducing and I was mentally (and occasionally mildly physically,) abused by a student I went to school with for most of my life (though she got worse with age,) but I don't have as many memories of that during that time, and I didn't have much anxiety outside of school (and none at home.) And I had a bunch of good memories that year (going to France for the first time, getting a playstation and playing that,) and I remember experiencing more intense excitement/happiness then I have in my adult life. Even though I was experiencing some unpleasant stuff it hadn't destroyed me yet.
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post #31 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:53 AM Thread Starter
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....A year earlier than me, impressive, I had my mid-life crisis when I was 5, stole my sister's pink bike & wrecked it over a ramp, was all washed up by 8, was hitting the Kool aid pretty hard, I don't know how I survived this long, tough SOB is all : /
Cute story.
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post #32 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:57 AM Thread Starter
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21-24 were pretty good years, despite a lot of the crap I went through, the majority of it was when it feels like I had more I could've done/look forward to. It's just been downhill ever since, it feels like.
Hopefully things will pick up again.
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post #33 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 03:52 AM
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Unfortunately I've been somewhat mentally ill my whole life, and school was very anxiety inducing and I was mentally (and occasionally mildly physically,) abused by a student I went to school with for most of my life
....It's ridiculous how much influence ignorant idiots, bullies can have over the whole of peoples lives, be it at home, school wherever, scars people can carry forever, I know on the extreme end it drives some to suicide but even sadder I think is some that end up as the walking wounded with invisible scars, especially more sensitive people or people with often misunderstood or ignored underlying mental health issues.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #34 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 03:57 AM
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....It's ridiculous how much influence ignorant idiots, bullies can have over the whole of peoples lives, be it at home, school wherever, scars people can carry forever, I know on the extreme end it drives some to suicide but even sadder I think is some that end up as the walking wounded with invisible scars, especially more sensitive people or people with often misunderstood or ignored underlying mental health issues.
Yeah it would have been nice if someone had tried to get me treatment at a young age as well, but I was born a bit too soon for support and maybe it still is too soon. Seems like you have to start bothering/hurting people before people take notice and even then only if you make what you're doing obvious.
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post #35 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 04:28 AM
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Yeah it would have been nice if someone had tried to get me treatment at a young age as well, but I was born a bit too soon for support and maybe it still is too soon.
.....Yes I grew up in a family who's definition of mental health issues was to be locked up in the nuthouse forever, of which a few family members were back 40-50 years ago, so I mostly kept quiet about my problems because I didn't want to end up there.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #36 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 04:33 AM
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I don't know. If I could lay out a timeline for each year, I could examine them and work out which year was the best, my memory can't do that.

Early childhood created a lot of nostalgia, so maybe it was great? Or maybe because it's so far away. There was a lot of excitement about starting school and getting a best friend. Early teens were nice in that adults everywhere thought I was the dog's bollocks and I first experienced what really getting into music was like. Late teens had some great times shooting the breeze with friends, drinking was never boring, we'd come up with all sorts of adventures. Early 20s was where I set out exploring and put myself through some interesting trials with drugs and homelessness. During late 20s I moved from interesting living situations and chopping firewood in bleak midwinter to housing and job security, and made some strides in developing my emotional intelligence. Now I'm starting my 30s and it's nice too. No idea where it's going.

Then again, all those years were also full of misery and pain, and I wouldn't want to live them all over again. So I don't know. Now is good, now is always good. But retirement, oh, that's going to be splendid.

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post #37 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 05:58 AM
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Probably around 10-15. everything's been a mess after 16

more issues than vogue
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post #38 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 06:07 AM
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post #39 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 07:03 AM Thread Starter
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Unfortunately I've been somewhat mentally ill my whole life, and school was very anxiety inducing and I was mentally (and occasionally mildly physically,) abused by a student I went to school with for most of my life (though she got worse with age,) but I don't have as many memories of that during that time, and I didn't have much anxiety outside of school (and none at home.) And I had a bunch of good memories that year (going to France for the first time, getting a playstation and playing that,) and I remember experiencing more intense excitement/happiness then I have in my adult life. Even though I was experiencing some unpleasant stuff it hadn't destroyed me yet.
My son was bullied a little bit at primary school when he was about 10. It's an incredibly hard thing to see as a parent - this boy you love more than anything in the world - and he's being called names and made upset by a group of little kids, some of whom were little girls. They'd call him gay and silly things like that - not actually meaning gay in the sense we think of now I don't think. I just remember a time when they all would call each other that.

Either way he was very upset. I told him I was going to fix it - and my way of doing that was to remove him completely from that school. I still remember the look on the teacher's face when I went in with him one morning and told them we were moving to the school up the road. We went to see a school psychologist together for a while at the new school and he settled in okay and made new friends.

I'll never forget the look on his little face going off to school in the mornings - he'd have his hair done the way they did back then and this sort of defiant, blank look on his face. I always thought he was very brave to be able to adapt to the new place. It was really horrible to see him go through all that.
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post #40 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 07:31 AM
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My son was bullied a little bit at primary school when he was about 10. It's an incredibly hard thing to see as a parent - this boy you love more than anything in the world - and he's being called names and made upset by a group of little kids, some of whom were little girls. They'd call him gay and silly things like that - not actually meaning gay in the sense we think of now I don't think. I just remember a time when they all would call each other that.

Either way he was very upset. I told him I was going to fix it - and my way of doing that was to remove him completely from that school. I still remember the look on the teacher's face when I went in with him one morning and told them we were moving to the school up the road. We went to see a school psychologist together for a while at the new school and he settled in okay and made new friends.

I'll never forget the look on his little face going off to school in the mornings - he'd have his hair done the way they did back then and this sort of defiant, blank look on his face. I always thought he was very brave to be able to adapt to the new place. It was really horrible to see him go through all that.
You sound like a good parent, I can see why your son turned out well.

Before I went to secondary school (aged 11,) I remember asking my mum to let me go to a different secondary school to avoid my abuser but she didn't listen. I think she wanted me to go to that school so then there would be more chance that my brother would get in later, because they had decent support for dyslexia and such or something (my brother was diagnosed with dyslexia.) A few times other students tried to help out though because they noticed what she was doing, also at a younger age I vaguely remember a childminder who took me and my brother to school for a bit intervening but nothing seemed to come of that, and later on I sort of downplayed stuff because I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself or seem weak (and some people did notice, and implied I was weak.) I wasn't really strong enough to get away from her properly, I did yell at her a few times. Honestly school was a lot more like a prison sentence.

My mum once called her on her mobile phone asking her to call her back very angrily after hearing from my brother about something she did or said to me (I can't even remember what it was now.) She gave me a lot of **** for that afterwards and just what a dumb thing to do like don't talk to the school, don't talk to her mum just call her angrily on her phone. Yeah that'll work and not make things even worse.. I mean I love my parents because they're my parents so it's hard because I know they always meant well, it's just they ****ed up a lot in parenting.


I wouldn't relive it, because I swear if I could go back with the way I feel now I would shoot up the school. I wasn't as angry then because I was in survival mode, but now that's what I'd do. And if I failed to get a gun (likely living in the UK and all,) I'd build an explosive device, stab people. Something. Probably stab people then I could be more specific.
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