What’s the worst bit of advice you’ve ever received? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-21-2020, 02:25 PM Thread Starter
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What’s the worst bit of advice you’ve ever received?


What’s the worst bit of advice you’ve ever received?

Did you know it was bad advice at the time or did you have to try it and learn this was not going to work for you?
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post #2 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-21-2020, 02:31 PM
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"You are better than the people who reject you," as a solution for feeling worse than the people who reject you.
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post #3 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-21-2020, 07:07 PM
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Probably everyone pushing me to go to college. Not worth the loans. Everyone and everything is being offshored now. Death of the middle-class and whatnot. So it goes. No reason to pay me to do something my counterpart in India can do for a third of the cost. He'll work from 11 PM to 7 AM, he don't mind. Wish I had chosen a different path. Like maybe plumbing? Union plumbers make bank. Can't offshore those ****ers.

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post #4 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-21-2020, 08:45 PM
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post #5 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 12:59 AM
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"Exposure to your fear is how you overcome it." And then they blame me when the situation gets much worse, not better, as a result of following their advice. I don't listen to anyone anymore when it comes to psychology, I'm on my own. That's the advice everyone should get growing up, no one is more qualified to decide on such matters than you.
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post #6 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 01:47 AM
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I could make this post really long, because I have lots of opinions about advice, but my all-time least-favorite piece of advice is: "Instead of focusing on your own problems, why don't you try helping other people?"

First of all, I do help other people as much as I'm able to. Second, I'm completely dysfunctional. If I don't even have the resources to help myself, where am I going to get the resources to help other people? I'm literally drowning in my own problems; adding other people's problems to that list is just going to make my life harder, not easier. Basic math, kids!

"Look, I know you're bleeding out from a gut wound, but why not help Jimmy over here with his math homework? It might make you feel better. "

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post #7 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 01:53 AM
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post #8 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 05:12 AM
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I really think that people who give that advice are secretly sadists.
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post #9 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 07:48 AM
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post #10 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 08:17 AM
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Most of the stuff other people have mentioned like in regards to career/academic advice and being yourself. I think the entire education system is pretty much ****ed really (and outdated.) Cannot remember getting much advice period though in all honesty, at least not individualised/personalised advice that wasn't aimed at a group of people and often a poor fit for me personally. In order to give decent advice people have to know you, and most people don't know me.

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post #11 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 08:23 AM
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And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #12 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 08:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Blue Dino View Post
"Don't think, just do it!"
Right, the moment someone tells you to stop thinking is when you know they're full of ****.
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post #13 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 08:39 AM Thread Starter
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Probably everyone pushing me to go to college. Not worth the loans. Everyone and everything is being offshored now. Death of the middle-class and whatnot. So it goes. No reason to pay me to do something my counterpart in India can do for a third of the cost. He'll work from 11 PM to 7 AM, he don't mind. Wish I had chosen a different path. Like maybe plumbing? Union plumbers make bank. Can't offshore those ****ers.
Wish in some ways I had chosen a skilled trade like plumbing as well. You can always find a job doing it and make good money with that skill. Dont know how old you are but perhaps you can skill learn a skill like plumbing. Not to late to change direction
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post #14 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 08:48 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by ScorchedEarth View Post
"Exposure to your fear is how you overcome it." And then they blame me when the situation gets much worse, not better, as a result of following their advice. I don't listen to anyone anymore when it comes to psychology, I'm on my own. That's the advice everyone should get growing up, no one is more qualified to decide on such matters than you.

Yea I agree the just expose yourself to what you fear advice is way to simplistic and dosent work as well as people say it does.

I was considering joining a toastmaster group to expose myself to public speaking in hopes of getting over that fear. I exposure dosent work then how do you conquer your fears in your opinion?
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post #15 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 09:07 AM
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Yea I agree the just expose yourself to what you fear advice is way to simplistic and dosent work as well as people say it does.

I was considering joining a toastmaster group to expose myself to public speaking in hopes of getting over that fear. I exposure dosent work then how do you conquer your fears in your opinion?
That's the thing, there's no catch-all approach, it depends on all sorts of factors, both internal and external. I think the only rule is: if you're not genuinely convinced that exposure will improve your condition, then it won't. It's a placebo. Which can also fail if the process is worse than expected.

Also, some fears are not worth confronting. Thankfully, no one is forcing me to do public speaking so I can safely ignore that phobia. Same for singing and dancing.
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post #16 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 09:28 AM
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"Why don't you try praying to God"

It always breaks my heart when mom tries to slip that in when I'm really down.
She tries to give as much 'pragmatic' advice as she can, and when she sees how nothing seems to work her mind just goes to the magical thingie.
She's very religious, so I'm sure she believes some kind of effect for belief and prayer. I'm pretty sure from her perspective I'm being completely irrational not using that 'very obvious way out of pain'

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post #17 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 12:41 PM
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post #18 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 01:05 PM
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post #19 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 07:09 PM
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That I should be more social back when I was younger. People are bad enough however that it makes me happy now that I’m a loner and don’t feel a need to socialize.
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post #20 of 62 (permalink) Old 10-22-2020, 07:21 PM
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