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-   -   What period of life was the most joyful / happy for you? (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f24/what-period-of-life-was-the-most-joyful-happy-for-2226915/)

chrisinmd 09-06-2019 10:39 PM

What period of life was the most joyful / happy for you?
 
What period of life was the most joyful / happy for you? Do you think take any lessons from that time period to be more happier today?

harrison 09-06-2019 11:19 PM

Without a doubt the time I lived with my wife and son - probably especially right through my 40's etc. It was a lovely time even though it wasn't always easy obviously.

I'd take from that that it's better to be married than not and definitely have kids. (plus probably a labrador and another dog) :)

zonebox 09-06-2019 11:37 PM

Nostalgia can be a pain, thankfully I have been keeping a journal for over twenty years now, and can see all of those good times I recall were often filled with turmoil :) There were no periods that I can think of, that superseded others. The entirety of my life has been a mishmash of good and bad, chaotically mixed up. Overall, I think it has been pretty decent though, I definitely complain a lot less now than I did in my earlier twenties, but that is probably because I have come to realize that complaining about things doesn't do anything for me, it doesn't solve whatever problems I am having.

I have moments where I am feeling at my best, like a couple of days ago - I woke up and just felt this awe inspiring sensation wash over me, it was as though everything was going to be okay. It was temporary, lasting on for a few minutes, but I did experience it. I get those every now and then, I also have moments where I feel depressed. Usually, I just feel somewhere in the middle. I can drone on and on about it, because I find emotions to be so absolutely fascinating. I'll spare you and others though :p

When I look back to my past, I have these little pockets of happy moments that stick out beyond others. But I don't think I have ever had a period in my life, where it had stayed consistent for a long period of time, not over any other period of time in my life. I would have to say, right now, I am probably feeling better than I have throughout my life, but that is just because I understand my emotions better now, I know how to manipulate them, I have become accustomed to them, and know how to avoid the pitfalls of prolonged agony. Who is to say that won't change though? I still keep up with my journal, perhaps in another twenty years I will have another outlook on it all.

chrisinmd 09-07-2019 07:46 PM

Well I am in a better situation money wise and that makes things a lot more stable for me now. Very tough to be happy and joyful when the bill collectors and creditors and pounding on your door and your worried about how to put food on the table.

On the other hand there is something to be said for when you are in your early 20's and carefree and don't have the job responsibilities and family responsibilities as well. Your free to try different things and be adventurous and that can bring a lot of joy as well. Just wish I had a better control over my anxiety and I would have been able to enjoy a lot more things back then.

andy1984 09-07-2019 07:49 PM

the periods where I was in love and having sex

lessons = get in love, have sex

WillYouStopDave 09-07-2019 09:25 PM

1987 - 1996 - Ages 14 - 23. Could probably extend it a bit to maybe age 30. Although 1998 was a really rough year for reasons. That was the year when adulthood finally hit me. I knew I was screwed all along but I pretended I wasn't and my circumstances cooperated with my delusions.

1998 was the year my mother threatened to kick me out for the first time and forced me to get a job. I figured any job would do and would be enough to get her off my back for awhile so I put in an application at McDonald's and they hired me like a week later. That was the beginning of a long, meandering spiral that involved me smoking lots more cigarettes and getting involved with pot and eating lots more junk food than ever before and eventually, quitting the job after like 5 years had taken it's toll on my sanity. I was terrified to quit because I still hadn't forgotten my mother threatening to kick me out and I knew I couldn't do anything else making better money.

When I finally did quit, it wasn't a planned thing. I wanted to keep working there but I was not getting along with the boss and he finally pushed me to the breaking point and I couldn't take it anymore. So I walked out. And whether it was coincidence or what, my epilepsy suddenly got much worse just a couple of months later after many years of being reasonably well controlled. That threw me for another loop because it was completely unexpected. I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was about 16. I was about 32 when that happened. Between the time when I was 16 and the time I was 32, I just took my pills and everything was fine. Did not have seizures unless I missed a dose. Suddenly, they were back with a vengeance for no reason whatsoever. I was still taking the pills exactly as I always had but they just weren't working as well.

So I think the lesson that I learned was that you just don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. The last thing you expected to screw you can screw you right now, tomorrow, next week, next year, five years from now in your sleep. Right now is all there is for sure.

Not that it's a lesson that does me much good now. As I've pretty much blown it. But maybe it's somewhat revealing to someone reading. Lesson - Do what you can to make this not happen to you. If you can. Sometimes what you have to do is not gonna be what everyone else would do or what everyone else thinks you should do. They will not be there to help you when you're me.

komorikun 09-08-2019 12:20 AM

That's hard to say since I've never had a "golden period" where everything was going great- good social life, stable job, decent apartment, etc. Always had one big problem or another. Lots of instability in my life due to my dad being unsupportive and because I have trouble making friends/getting relationships/getting work.

Various Problems:
no friends at school
teased by other kids at school
parents angry at me
couldn't deal with school/dropped out
mother got cancer and became disabled
money problems
crappy housing
sharing a living room with my sister (no bedroom)'
cats euthanized by my dad and the Evil Old Bag
no boyfriend/no men interested
no visa/illegal alien
living with roommates I couldn't stand (many, many years)
living in an apartment with boyfriend where the toilet was not inside the apartment
no friends
fighting all the time with boyfriend/crappy relationship
job problems
fired repeatedly
long periods of unemployment
numerous failed interviews
low salary
run-down crappy apartment

twitchy666 09-08-2019 12:32 AM

when no experience gained
 
all always gleeful perpetually
chirpy
as small child
life so simple
everyone loves a child
everyone loves everyone
when anyone's at school
watching TV
laugh & giggle
sing
as a wild animal
no punishment til later when all the hatred seeps into yer veins
realising the world is sour, cruel
LAWS to make all miserable
to keep everyone else much happier

Greenmacaron 09-08-2019 03:45 AM

I think I’m still waiting for the most joyful and happy time of my life. Although I have fond memories of being 17. It was the time when I was most ‘normal’ actually meeting people, having friends, first dates, first job. I was hopeful for the future.

The lesson I learned from that time was to be true to myself and not change myself to fit in with other people.

blue2 09-08-2019 07:44 AM

I think the best time in anyone's life is before innocence is lost & you realise you've been wading through a cesspool all along.

AllGlad 09-08-2019 08:45 AM

I don't think have a long period of joyful or happy moments in my life.


Most of my life I feel, as tho it's been a very mundane experience.

Citrine79 09-08-2019 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blue2 (Post 1093799711)
I think the best time in anyone's life is before innocence is lost & you realise you've been wading through a cesspool all along.

^This!!! I would also add life was better before social media.

shyguy07 09-08-2019 02:24 PM

Generally, I tend to look back on times in the past and feel like times were better then. First time I remember doing this was around the second grade and we'd moved when I was in first grade. I remember wanting to go back "home" to my hometown and old house.

Elementary and middle school years were pretty good. But late elementary/early middle school years I discovered my parents were alcoholics and that wasn't too good, not to mention I didn't have any social interactions with people my age out of school. School was overall pretty good though and I hung out with family pretty often.

My mid high school years sucked. Freshman year was good, sophomore started out ok, but after that and going into junior year I was super depressed. Lots of stuff happening at once. I came out of junior year and senior year was better. I'd say happiest I can remember most recently were my college years. Especially starting college, going out on my own, new college and making some friends. Classes could be stressful but overall it was a fun time and exciting as far as doing new things. Earlier working years after college were pretty good also. Then I started a new job and things kinda went downhill, stressed out at work and didn't get to do much anymore. I'd say 2016 to now has been pretty good. Part of this is as some others have said, I've learned a bit of what makes me up and down and have gotten stronger, so certain things don't bother me like they used to. Working environment is better overall now though, and have tried to get back into socializing.

What gets me lately is how fast time seems to go. When I look back when I turned 20 I lamented the loss of being a teen and I thought 30 was getting old and far off. But now that I'm 30 it doesn't seem old. And I'm sure people that are in their 40s-90s don't feel like it's been that long either. I don't have the motivation I used to though, and I've gotten lazy. It's like half my mind wants to do something, but I can't get the other half to follow through.

I agree though, I wish social media hadn't gotten so big. MySpace was ok and kind of cool, but Facebook got way overblown and now I don't even pay that much attention to it anymore. But I think in ways we'd have been better off without it.

Paul 09-08-2019 05:04 PM

Recent years. My very happiest time was probably the summer of 2014, but except for being single now would be better. Now is definitely my lowest-stress period.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blue2 (Post 1093799711)
I think the best time in anyone's life is before innocence is lost & you realise you've been wading through a cesspool all along.

Not all of us were innocent. I distrusted everyone as a baby and was cynical throughout childhood. It's only in my 30s I started to like and trust people.

CNikki 09-08-2019 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blue2 (Post 1093799711)
I think the best time in anyone's life is before innocence is lost & you realise you've been wading through a cesspool all along.

I think innocence is a bit more complex since I know for sure that there were some aspects that I hated as well as some I liked. One example I can think of was when 9/11 happened and I didn't fully have an idea what went on during that time (began primary school not that long before it.) With that came some pretty nasty side(s) which I had been socially exposed to after.

leaf in the wind 09-08-2019 08:04 PM

When I was 14-15 was a nice time. I had friends and a boyfriend I hung out with regularly, at school and outside it. I was entirely alone and friendless the rest of grade school. My parents also weren't fighting as much that year, from what I recall. I had a part-time job and was doing pretty okay.

When I was 21-24 was also a pretty good time. It had its low moments that were horrendously bad, but I see them now as periods of growth. (i.e. spending 6 months crying in bed, unemployed, after a really bad breakup... now I no longer feel that deeply for anyone). I dated a lot, worked a lot of different jobs, traveled more than I ever had, and my confidence grew the most during this period.

I don't remember enough from my younger years, or the ones in between. It was a lot of trauma, loneliness, depression, and feelings I rather block out of my head.

I'd say I'm over the hill now. I'm in an unhappy relationship of 3.5 years, strained relationship with family, a faltering career with stunted salary, and few friends. I don't have youth to fall back on anymore. I'm also insidiously turning into an alcoholic.

thomasjune 09-08-2019 09:29 PM

I don't remember. My life sucks but I've had plenty of joyful and happy times here and there.
Posted via Mobile Device

truant 09-08-2019 09:33 PM

When I was fairly young. Probably about 8-10. Once puberty hit, it was all downhill. The last 5 years have been the worst years of my life. Even worse than hs. And that was hell.

WillYouStopDave 09-08-2019 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truant (Post 1093800181)
When I was fairly young. Probably about 8-10. Once puberty hit, it was all downhill. The last 5 years have been the worst years of my life. Even worse than hs. And that was hell.

Sorry to hear that.

Yeah. My really young years were OK. Not the greatest but relatively uneventful. I mean the world always seems brighter and the future seems more filled with potential when your health is (or seems) perfect. I guess that period doesn't stand out to me as great because I found more meaning and purpose later on.

chrisinmd 09-09-2019 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shyguy07 (Post 1093799945)
What gets me lately is how fast time seems to go. When I look back when I turned 20 I lamented the loss of being a teen and I thought 30 was getting old and far off. But now that I'm 30 it doesn't seem old. And I'm sure people that are in their 40s-90s don't feel like it's been that long either. I don't have the motivation I used to though, and I've gotten lazy. It's like half my mind wants to do something, but I can't get the other half to follow through.

Im 41 now and yes it seems time does fly. You don't have that same perspective when you are 20 something. Do I feel old? Sometimes. I drove through a college campus near me last week and that made me feel old and wishing I could go back and relive and redo my college age experiences. Now that I have my anxiety in check a bit more it would have been a much more positive experience I am sure.


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