What is the biggest red flag about you? - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 08:31 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 29

What is the biggest red flag about you?


Just for fun

I will say I am quite quiet and like my own space.
Reecedouglas1 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 10:53 AM
monk
 
andy1984's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: chch
Language: english, silence
Gender: Non-binary
Age: 35
Posts: 6,613
My Mood: Amazed
quiet

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
andy1984 is online now  
post #3 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 11:38 AM
Pandora’s Birthright
 
Phel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: the Neverlands
Age: 21
Posts: 3,640
My Mood: Pensive
Uncomfortably silent; says awkward things; patchy social skills.. but biggest red flag? Probably the lack of sustained irl relationships.

Some people will always need help. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth helping
– Meera Reed
Phel is offline  
post #4 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 11:40 AM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13,682
Probably when I start to become delusional/and or angry. That's more like a freight train hitting you than a red flag though.
harrison is offline  
post #5 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 12:29 PM
Not A Low Calorie Food
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 28,301
My Mood: Relaxed
Immediately obvious? I have no idea. I try to keep up appearances just to spare other people from the discomfort of knowing without saying. Sometimes I go for awhile without shaving but I usually shave before I go somewhere.

/WYSD
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #6 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 02:33 PM
butterball
 
Musicfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,043
My Mood: Mellow
Laziness. Also the inability to hold a conversation.

"It's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that."
Stephen Colbert
Musicfan is online now  
post #7 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 04:13 PM
Merry Effing Christmas
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 47
Posts: 8,950
My Mood: Brooding
I'm a walking red flag. I look weird and dress like a bum. Most people avoid me on sight. On the plus side, no one ever talks to me unless they have to for some reason. Like a service provider.

For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?
truant is offline  
post #8 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 04:26 PM
...
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 17,480
The one the bull runs at olay.
Mondo_Fernando is offline  
post #9 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 05:09 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13,682
Day to day with me it's more the way I isolate myself, and then will go out and start talking too much or getting over-excited about things. It's sort of one extreme to another - although the extreme gets much worse later.
harrison is offline  
post #10 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 06:56 PM
SAS Member
 
Reverie101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Language: English
Gender: Female
Posts: 686
My Mood: Breezy
Im a sweet and nice person but after some slight relationship experience -- I feel I have a wild card factor about me. When Im back into a corner or hurt and Im not strong enough to let go I do things that surprise myself. Which is my I'm waiting a long periolollically time before I get into another relationship.

I need to build my self esteem.

Friendship wise-- there are no flags. Im pretty cool.

We are in a reverie/ And everything you thought you knew isn't what it seems/ Only truth will set you free/ And I would never lie to you
Reverie101 is offline  
post #11 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 08:13 PM
On An Indefinante Hiatus
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 11,753
Lack of a real social life and a lack of IRL relationships.
iAmCodeMonkey is offline  
post #12 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 11:23 PM
SAS Member
 
komorikun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Language: 英語と日本語
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,372
Well, here is a list.

https://www.lifehack.org/375731/50-r...r-relationship

Lets see which flags I have:

6. They keep score about things you’ve said a long time ago.

7. They are upset when you go and hang out with your friends or family over them.

15. They refuse to get close to your family.

17. They password protect all of their devices.

25. They don’t pay compliments or thanks.

27. They have a history of drinking too much.
komorikun is offline  
post #13 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-11-2019, 05:41 AM
occasionally lesbian NRx
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I've come to burn your kingdom down one ****post at a time
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 36,710
^ hmm interesting

4. When they don’t text you back quick, but are always on their phone.


(probably some equivalent of that where I'm always on some electronic device with messaging but don't always respond back straight away.)

6. They keep score about things you’ve said a long time ago.

Haven't done this in a relationship specifically, but I do tend to remember things when they become relevant. But I don't know that that's what this means.

10. They don’t get along with many other people.

15. They refuse to get close to your family.

17. They password protect all of their devices.

(don't do this on phone but probably should, do on PC because that's just how I was raised technologically.... How is this even a redflag what if someone steals your stuff)

18. They don’t comfort you in times of need.

I would try, but I'm bad at that.

21. When they make a negative comment about everything.

Probably, I'm a negative person.

23. All of their friends are of the opposite sex.

This sort of thing is why I don't want to date straight/cis people (guys really,) now though because you're weird. To me it's a red flag if you think this is a red flag.

Quote:
This is a key when it comes to girls especially. This is a textbook red flag that has been told time and time again. If most of her friends are guys, she probably loves the attention from males and is an attention *****. The worst part about this is most of these guys secretly have a crush on her or want to get in her pants, so they hate you as a result. She may not see any of their intentions, either out of pure ignorance or she’s lying. She also may cause too much drama with female friends, which causes them to not want to be with her.
Guess what gender and sexuality the person who created this list is. I'll tell you what if she has a lot of male friends she's still more likely to makeout with female friends at parties source: real life experience watching this happen with a woman who was in a relationship with a guy who wasn't present. But you don't care about that do you?

28. They are extremely moody.


Probably would be these days.
Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #14 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-11-2019, 07:30 AM
ssɐlƃ ƃuᴉʞool ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥ┴
 
zonebox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, Oosa
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,618
My Mood: Inspired
I'm like that one gear, in a well oiled machine, that is warped and only functions on occasion, which in turn throws off the rest of the machine into utter chaos. I just don't fit very well into a group setting, and what is worst, I don't want to fit in because I don't like being part of that machine, I would rather do my own thing.

That is my ultimate red flag, and it is not the cool loner type red flag, where I aim to get the admiration of others and be looked up upon as some creative genius, I really do just want to be left alone by most people.. I think that scares some people, because they can't relate on a fundamental level, as far as they are concerned we all need to be part of some system. I imagine, to people who do function well in that sociological machine, or aspire to one day function within it, it is assumed I would rather see it all fall apart which is untrue. If anything, I feel kind of guilty whenever I am in a social setting, because I feel like I am causing it harm. I don't think many people can understand, a few of us, just don't want to be part of it all. We don't hate it, we don't want to see the whole of society fall apart, we don't feel cheated or vindictive, we just don't want to be part of it.

The concept is so alien, that it is bound to set off a ton of red flags.

Live and let live
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Whoever fights monsters should
see to it that in the process he does not become a
monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

http://zbox.neocities.org/
zonebox is offline  
post #15 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-11-2019, 12:56 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13,682
Quote:
Originally Posted by zonebox View Post
I'm like that one gear, in a well oiled machine, that is warped and only functions on occasion, which in turn throws off the rest of the machine into utter chaos. I just don't fit very well into a group setting, and what is worst, I don't want to fit in because I don't like being part of that machine, I would rather do my own thing.

That is my ultimate red flag, and it is not the cool loner type red flag, where I aim to get the admiration of others and be looked up upon as some creative genius, I really do just want to be left alone by most people.. I think that scares some people, because they can't relate on a fundamental level, as far as they are concerned we all need to be part of some system. I imagine, to people who do function well in that sociological machine, or aspire to one day function within it, it is assumed I would rather see it all fall apart which is untrue. If anything, I feel kind of guilty whenever I am in a social setting, because I feel like I am causing it harm. I don't think many people can understand, a few of us, just don't want to be part of it all. We don't hate it, we don't want to see the whole of society fall apart, we don't feel cheated or vindictive, we just don't want to be part of it.

The concept is so alien, that it is bound to set off a ton of red flags.
That's a very interesting answer overall mate. I can't honestly say I can relate - with me I think I just know I am part of it, regardless of whether I hide myself away for a while or not. I used to be much more involved - plenty of friends when I was younger, I worked etc - although because of the anxiety I couldn't do anything particularly challenging. All pretty brain-dead stuff really.

Then my mental health became much worse - or more complicated shall we say. I know for the last few years it's like I've been waiting, until I feel stronger again. I'm going to go and do something again soon because I'm getting bored out of my brain. PLus I really need social stimulation - I'll probably contact some old mates and find some new people too.

With me I sort of need to reach a certain point and then I say screw this and I go and do something to change it.
harrison is offline  
post #16 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-11-2019, 02:36 PM
ssɐlƃ ƃuᴉʞool ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥ┴
 
zonebox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, Oosa
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,618
My Mood: Inspired
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
That's a very interesting answer overall mate. I can't honestly say I can relate - with me I think I just know I am part of it, regardless of whether I hide myself away for a while or not. I used to be much more involved - plenty of friends when I was younger, I worked etc - although because of the anxiety I couldn't do anything particularly challenging. All pretty brain-dead stuff really.

Then my mental health became much worse - or more complicated shall we say. I know for the last few years it's like I've been waiting, until I feel stronger again. I'm going to go and do something again soon because I'm getting bored out of my brain. PLus I really need social stimulation - I'll probably contact some old mates and find some new people too.

With me I sort of need to reach a certain point and then I say screw this and I go and do something to change it.
I'm kind of weird like that If there is a hell out there, my version of it would be living in a house under the rules of a home association, forced group participation, and mandatory house guests Even without any anxiety, all of those things, seem horrific for me.

Now put on an island, with a internet connection, but no one outside of family and I would be in heaven. I mean, so long as there is still good food, A/C, internet access, video games, all that fun stuff. I would be miserable on just an island with only coconuts to eat.

Live and let live
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Whoever fights monsters should
see to it that in the process he does not become a
monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

http://zbox.neocities.org/
zonebox is offline  
post #17 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-11-2019, 07:02 PM
SAS Member
 
RelinquishedHell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Vantucky, Washington
Gender: Other
Age: 29
Posts: 16,185
My Mood: Mellow
I'm very unresponsive and unexpressive around people I don't know or don't really trust much, and it makes emotionally unintelligent people think I'm creepy.
RelinquishedHell is offline  
post #18 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 02:25 AM
Born Of Blotmonađ
 
Canadian Brotha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Over Yonder
Language: South Martian, North Terran, & Lunarian
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Posts: 17,784
My Mood: Cynical
Canadian Brotha is online now  
post #19 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 02:34 AM
In Liquidation
 
Blue Dino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6,095
I am oddly much less talkative and boring to be around with once a person gets to know me a bit. Past the introductory stage. This is so bad to the point where it makes others always be very suspicious of me eventually to the point where they want to distance from me out of discomfort and unsettled. I am sure they all must think I am some sort of secret spy or a contract killer or something.

When in reality, it's because I am just a very boring and uninteresting person. Underneath my outer shell, I have really nothing interesting inside to share. Come to think of it, I guess this might be a pretty cool gimmick for me to play along with.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
Blue Dino is offline  
post #20 of 45 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 02:38 AM
Not A Low Calorie Food
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 28,301
My Mood: Relaxed
Quote:
Originally Posted by RelinquishedHell View Post
I'm very unresponsive and unexpressive around people I don't know or don't really trust much, and it makes emotionally unintelligent people think I'm creepy.
I don't think it's necessarily that they're unintelligent. It's smart to blend if you're able to. Many people just don't want to be socially demoted by association. If you're a type of personality that has been stigmatized as being creepy, that's how people are supposed to treat you. And anyone who doesn't will get put in the same category. Or at least, that is probably what they fear will happen to them. Which it often does.

There's so much going on that nuance is lost. Weird, crazy, unusual and sensational stories always rule the news. That quiet guy that murdered a bunch of people is always "on the front page". Which, unfortunately, journalists are not unintelligent people. They're just vultures exploiting sensational stories. For whatever reasons. 300 plus million people in this country and a good portion of them are at least a little bit socially awkward deep down. But if you can pretend not to be, you have to do that because "the quiet ones" seem to be the modern day witch. And anyone who knows better knows better than to disagree.

/WYSD
WillYouStopDave is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome