What do you seek in a mate? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 07:50 PM Thread Starter
 
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What do you seek in a mate?


What traits and beliefs do you prefer for your romantic partner to have?

Here is my preferences:

a) She is a Secular Humanist.

b) She is a materialist.

c) She judges people's actions and beliefs without judging their character.

d) She has an interest in either Literature, Art, Music, Linguistics, or Psychology.

That's it for now!
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post #2 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 08:34 PM
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I found applying specifics really doesn't work at all. All it does is limit you. You might find the issues you thought were important really aren't because you like something else even more about the person. It's the person themselves that's important. Everything about them adds to their impression and how you get along with them. Their overall personality can make some things much more or less bothersome than they might be in someone else. You never can tell until you get to know them.

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post #3 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 08:37 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akane View Post
I found applying specifics really doesn't work at all. All it does is limit you. You might find the issues you thought were important really aren't because you like something else even more about the person. It's the person themselves that's important. Everything about them adds to their impression and how you get along with them. Their overall personality can make some things much more or less bothersome than they might be in someone else. You never can tell until you get to know them.
Right, which is why I stated they are preferences and not obligations. Therefore, I'm not limiting myself one bit. Even when I wrote that post, I believed that if I found someone who was a Liberal Christian but still loved her, I would date her.
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post #4 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 09:04 PM
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Preferences huh?
....Well;

-He has the ability to make me laugh (This is actually a must, not a preference. Humor's big with me...I can't be with someone who's stone-faced...)

-He's protective (Clich'e, yes. But it's sweet.)

-He has a respect and eye (or ear) for the arts. (I'm a artist. I'd ADORE this.)

-Maybe a bookworm

-Christian or at least believes in God.

-Nice voice

-Doesn't get aggravated easily and doesn't judge others.

This whole thread makes me want to daydream...

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
~Fields of Innocence by Evanescence

I reject your reality and substitute my own! ~Adam of Mythbusters
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post #5 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 10:23 PM
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Well given my circumstances I would be happy just having a gf.
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post #6 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 10:25 PM
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Kindness, sense of humour, patience, and passion.

- I'mma be the syrup she can be my waffle.
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post #7 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 10:36 PM
 
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slamin bod
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post #8 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 11:03 PM
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Someone alot like me. Clingy, inexperienced, sensitive, shy in groups but really good at 1-1 convo, has an interest in the paranormal, likes board and video games
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post #9 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-28-2009, 11:37 PM
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Funny, goofy, doesnt take himself too seriously.
Passionate about something
Affectionate
Kind


I also find muscular guys rather un-attractive so someone who
is constantly at the gym bulking up probably isnt going to work for me.
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post #10 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 06:02 AM
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My ideal mate....

isn't afraid to express feelings
understands about depression/SA
doesn't hit me
doesn't shout at me
doesn't belittle me
is responsible and mature
has a good/twisted sense of humour
has a nice bottom
will never cheat on me
makes me feel like living

No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness. - Aristotle
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post #11 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 06:18 AM
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I got banned from SAS the last time I made a post about the type of mate I was looking for, so I will exercise my right to remain silent.
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post #12 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 07:22 AM
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I have no real criteria, but someone once told me I needed to find a guy "who would punch Jesus in the face for me."

That made a lot of sense to me, so that's what I'm looking for: a guy who would punch Jesus in the face for me, if need be.

Have a nice day,
Kelly

Carefully, but full of might.
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post #13 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 07:31 AM
wtf
 
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Specifically, a Y chromosome.
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post #14 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 08:11 AM
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I like people with stories to tell. Spoiled, rich kids who have never had a worry in their lives don't interest me.

They can't act like a 13 year old and should be able to hold a conversation. I wouldn't want them to be too shallow either.


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post #15 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 09:52 AM
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I wouldn't date, but if I did:

Someone who understood my parents rules. No sleeping in the same bed together. (Rolling my eyes) It's a respect thing.
Has anyone's boyfriend had to sleep on the floor when he came over? We need to talk.

I would want to be with someone who cares about others aka me. lol! I'm not too high maintenance. It's been 4 months since I went to a mall to buy clothes. It was my birthday.

I only pursue relationships when I have a job.

Oddly enough, I think that I would want him to be a country boy.

I would want to be someone who's cute, but honestly has no idea that they are.

I used to like shy guys, but now I like confident guys who aren't afraid to grab opportunities and conquer the world. (I probably don't like shyness so much since I see my SA as a really negative thing in my eyes). Plus, I reallly admire confident people and aspire to be like them. I don't want to be stuck inside this shell forever.

Someone who has a deep love for Alt Rock music.

Someone who smells good. I love it when a guy passes by and I can smell his cologne. I'm like wow!

Huge Turn offs:

Someone who has mantrums all the time (man tantrums). I was with a guy once that anytime he got pissed off about something he would yell *****. Let's just say he sucked as a boyfriend.

Someone who's controlling. Doesn't let you have any choices. That's annoying!
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post #16 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 10:14 AM
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My ideal girl

Kind
Affectionate
Loves the outdoors
Adventurous
Not close-minded
Not overly materialistic
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post #17 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 10:34 AM
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1. ...honesty. I'm generally an honest person and would like to have the same in return from other people.
2. ...someone who treats me and other living things (including animals) with the respect we deserve. For example I will NOT tolerate a mate who is a male chauvinist, animal abuser, extreme racist...
3. ...sense of humor. In life it is very important to be able to laugh.
4. ...NOT an extreme pessimist

They must have those 4 qualities listed above to some degree. For example, I don't have to have the funniest guy in the world. But he needs to be able to laugh at some things. If I don't find anyone with those 4 qualities, I'd rather be alone. I've accepted that and I'm okay with being alone. Life is difficult enough. One doesn't need anyone who will make it more difficult. I don't think I'm asking for too much.
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post #18 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 10:36 AM
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My ideal girl:

-accepts me for who I truly am with no plans or agenda to change me. I'm not some renovation project.
-accepts that I'm deeply flawed.
-Isn't into what I can spend on her or buy her, because I'm cheap and it won't be much.
-Hates cat, because I hate these cute furballs that make my eyes swell shut. Doesn't really matter how cute you are when I can't see you if my eyes are swollen shut, now does it?
-Doesn't demand that I love everything she likes and agree with her on everything. I'm not going to demand that she agree with me on all things. She can read a bible and listen to rap music for all I care (as long as I don't have to discuss the bible with her or hear that stuff that passes for music).
-Must be fiscally responsible. I would run as fast as possible away from a woman who runs up a $100,000 of credit card debt and says "Wanna marry me?" which I'd take to mean "Wanna marry my huge load of debt and drown in the sea of red ink with me?"
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post #19 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadsurvivor View Post

1. ...honesty. I'm generally an honest person and would like to have the same in return from other people.
2. ...someone who treats me and other living things (including animals) with the respect we deserve. For example I will NOT tolerate a mate who is a male chauvinist, animal abuser, extreme racist...
3. ...sense of humor. In life it is very important to be able to laugh.
4. ...NOT an extreme pessimist
That is pretty much my qualities also. Very well said.
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post #20 of 70 (permalink) Old 04-29-2009, 10:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alohomora View Post
Specifically, a Y chromosome.
If that's all it takes why don't I have a GF? So many guys on SAS can't find GFs and that's all the requirement is!?!

I'm genetically male. This is all original factory equipment.
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