Was it inappropriate to contact a nurse via social media? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 11:13 AM Thread Starter
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Was it inappropriate to contact a nurse via social media?


I went to A&E in July for what I thought was coronavirus but just turned out to be the regular flu after they tested me. They kept me there for a week and I got infatuated with an attractive nurse that mainly looked after me.

After getting discharged, I decided to ask for my medical records under the FOI request, knowing that all the names of the nurses/psychiatrists is mandated to appear on them (I got similar records from a mental health clinic).

Well I found her first and last name and sent her an Instagram/Facebook friend request along with a Snapchat message. I don't think she took it to well cause she blocked me..lol

I asked two of my friends and one says that's very weird but the other one says that I have to be confident and pursue the women I'm attracted to in an way possible.

Is it appropriate or not?
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 12:24 PM
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Of course it's highly inappropriate. She must've been scared that you managed to track down her personal life and try to insert yourself into it.

The friend who equates stalking professional acquaintances with confidence is going to end up with restraining orders or in jail.

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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 12:49 PM
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Next time ask in person rather than sneak approach, because that can come off as creepy. Obviously easier said than done though.
Plus contacting her on 3 different social media platforms at once is quite unusual, given that you clearly never discussed it with her.

**** you and your mandatory custom signature.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 07:45 PM
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Would probably have been best to ask in person. Messaging on one platform with an explanation might be okay I guess but attempting to reach out on multiple platforms comes across as desperate and creepy.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 08:51 AM
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You probably should have gone back to the hospital/doctor's office and asked for her. She probably would have been a bit confused, but now that you are no longer a patient, you can profess your attraction and feelings towards her. I just love big romantic gestures. The guys I've dated never once did anything romantic for me. I just wish someone could just sweep me off my feet. A girl can dream, can't she? Haha
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 09:54 AM
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I wouldn't think it would ever be a good idea to do that with someone who is required to interact with you professionally as part of their job. Whether your interest in them is romantic or otherwise. They are there to earn a living and they cannot choose not to have their name be known to random strangers. I'd say that's very inappropriate.
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 01:50 PM
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Agreed with the above, not a good idea!

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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 03:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by finolamartin1999 View Post
Is it appropriate or not?
If you have to ask the question you should already know the answer.

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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 03:57 PM
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a bit stalkerish. though relationships tend to happen inappropriately? kind of as your other friend said. when an inappropriate action is welcomed that is what makes something romantic, if there wasn't any risk then its not romantic. that's how it works. so you have to do inappropriate things. and as far as inappropriate things go, friending someone on facebook is very harmless. maybe face to face would be better or maybe it would be way more awkward for everyone lol. so there was probably an appropriate level of distance between you for the 99.9% likelihood of rejection. its fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. you're not a harvey weinstein or anything lol.


love at first site is a romantic cliche. you like them but the opportunity passes so you do whatever you can to find them again. how romantic. unless its unwanted, then its kind of disgusting. lol. so yeah the risk is built in. its pretty disney.

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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 05:56 PM
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She was just following orders !! Nothing personal.






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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 06:06 PM
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Totally, utterly inappropriate! You should've asked her to her face. If you couldn't manage that, you certainly don't use a back channel to get her information that she hasn't freely shared with you. Absolutely not ok! Please never do anything like that again!

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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 07:12 PM
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No, it's not appropriate bro. And you say you got similar records for a similar thing as well, so, is it more than once? I get the feeling you're a young guy so it's good that you've asked the question - I commend you on that. So, all of the reply's to your question will give you the right answer.

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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 01:32 PM
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I don't think that contacting a nurse via ONE social media platform is inappropriate, but doing so on several platforms at once can come across as creepy and desperate.
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 05:15 PM
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Nope, if it had been one platform maybe it would have been okay, but three is borderline stalkerish.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 06:28 PM
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You made another thread about having a girlfriend in October in 18+ section <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/lol.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>...,Sir do you take me for an idiot ?






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 04:11 AM
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No it's definitely not appropriate just because something is easy and new in Human culture (the internet,) doesn't mean it's OK.

Also contacting anyone on three separate websites simultaneously is never a good idea.

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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 04:27 AM
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You couldn't have just talked to this girl while you were in the hospital?
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 05:02 AM
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I can understand why you did it. But I can also understand why she might have been uncomfortable with it.

As others have said, maybe just one social media request would have been better. Sending three ... you really wanted to make sure she saw it lol

I can't say whether or not it was inappropriate ... others have suggested it would have been better to say stuff in person at the hospital, but that's easier said than done. So I don't judge you.

Better luck next time bro &#x1f609;
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 05:57 AM
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You couldn't have just talked to this girl while you were in the hospital?
Well this is an anxiety website, low self esteem & lack of confidence is high & we must always do everything the most awkward creepy way possible, he was in a hospital though maybe a little morphine would have loosened his tongue.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 07:59 AM
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... though maybe a little morphine would have loosened his tongue.
Morphine &#x1f602;&#x1f602;&#x1f602; He'd definitely have been relaxed lol
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