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post #19501 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 02:15 AM
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I've been wondering lately if perhaps the lack of a need for actual, physical life-or-death survival for many humans might not be at least part of the cause behind the rise in mental illnesses and such. Since many of us never need to actually worry about being killed by predators, foraging for our own food or water or finding/making our own shelter... Do we just have too much time to worry about other, less urgent concerns? Or is it the fact that we've basically spat in the face of natural selection, allowing individuals who should die off naturally to grow, thrive and reproduce? And where does this vicious cycle end?

More to the point, why am I so weak and useless? Specifically, why do I have all of these traits that would make me a prime candidate for early death in "the wild" -- except I've never actually had to experience "the wild" because I'm so sheltered, both by my family and by society at large? Are we basically causing our own slow burn to extinction by being so coddling of defective individuals?

"Here we may reign secure, and in my choyce / To reign is worth ambition though in Hell: / Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav'n" - "Satan", Paradise Lost
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post #19502 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 07:35 AM
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post #19503 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 02:17 PM
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It happened again. I finished breakfast and got dressed up for work only to be so anxiety-ridden that I ended up calling out.

The place has become more toxic than usual. Our group no longer feels like a team.

"Did you really have a bad day or did you have a bad 10 minutes and dwelled on it the entire day?"
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post #19504 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 02:33 PM
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post #19505 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 03:31 PM
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Lost all of my focus and motivation to do my work now.

And 6 new voicemails within 20 mins, I don't even wanna know and look forward to hearing them.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #19506 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 03:38 PM
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On a slightly happier note - ever since I woke up I want to call my wife. When will this ****ing end. It's mostly mania - and the poor woman's probably still asleep.
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post #19507 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 05:13 PM
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Deleted post

I use to do that, it won't work. Turmoil and fights will only feed her, it's what she wants. Not giving her an reaction starves her, though it also only makes her more hungry and antagonistic. Always a lose-lose situation and reality with people like that.
It's fine . I only post there as a way to not seem like I'm asking for attention to further annoy others than I already have, but needed to vent.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #19508 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 05:24 PM
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I need to get my trash can back in. I wonder what happens if I just leave the trash can on the sidewalk the whole week. Would I get fined? What if someone steals my trash can and I have no trash can anymore? Do people just steal trash cans like that? I feel like going outside is so dirty and I don't want to get my shirt or feet dirty because I don't want to wear socks to go outside. I want my mom to come over to put my trash can in for me. I feel bad about it but yeah
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post #19509 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 06:51 PM
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I use to do that, it won't work. Turmoil and fights will only feed her, it's what she wants. Not giving her an reaction starves her, though it also only makes her more hungry and antagonistic. Always a lose-lose situation and reality with people like that.
It's fine . I only post there as a way to not seem like I'm asking for attention to further annoy others than I already have, but needed to vent.
That's a horrible situation to be in - it must be very hard when it's your Mum. My older sister used to be very rude and antagonistic - I didn't really bother fighting with her, I just deleted her from my life entirely. I realise it's not always that simple though.

My wife and I used to have terrible fights sometimes - her fury was really something to see. Pretty impressive actually. She's calmed down a lot with age thank God. It's stressful having to fight - a horrible way to live.

I hope you're feeling better anyway.
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post #19510 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 07:09 PM
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i got a friend and im happy bout it


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post #19511 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 08:01 PM
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That's a horrible situation to be in - it must be very hard when it's your Mum. My older sister used to be very rude and antagonistic - I didn't really bother fighting with her, I just deleted her from my life entirely. I realise it's not always that simple though.

My wife and I used to have terrible fights sometimes - her fury was really something to see. Pretty impressive actually. She's calmed down a lot with age thank God. It's stressful having to fight - a horrible way to live.

I hope you're feeling better anyway.

Yeah, absence is always the one and only true solution to people like that. In my case and life situation I got myself into, this is difficult unfortunately. I use to think she will calm down more with age, but seems to be opposite. A retired high energy workaholic, that pent up energy will have to go somewhere. With her, unfortunately she unleashes through abusing a selection of people.

Many I have vented to have told me, it's also on my end to actually learn to be more emotionally numb and less sensitive after all of these years. Some go through abuse and they don't go around unloading to others in their life. Yet I do, which only bothers them and finally pushes them away.

Thanks

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #19512 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 08:21 PM
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The smoke reached Ontario. The sun is orange behind all the haze.
Is that what it is? I thought I was just seeing and imagining smoky sky if only wishful thinking. Hm..

Edit: Its hard to live with someone with values different than your own.. or just different. We may as well be two political factions at war yet with a complex shared history.
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post #19513 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 08:35 PM
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poo poo pee pee?

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post #19514 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 09:09 PM
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Why is it so hard to find cranberry sauce outside of the holiday season...

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #19515 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-17-2020, 12:21 AM
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Depression and anxiety are hitting me really hard right now.

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post #19516 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-17-2020, 01:39 AM
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I don’t ****ing get it. Why would she ask for my help when she knows not only do I not care enough about all her finicky things about her interior design or home care, I also don’t agree with her half the time...and then she gets mad at me...and in the end she does what she wants after fussing forever and it looks fine...you asked for my help knowing full well that I would I annoy you doing these tasks, I agreed to be polite...I guess I’m at fault too because I knew what was coming and still went, all the same, all this could have been avoided, and I’m still left feeling like an *** for simply being myself in that situation...I mean she called me a misogynist because I said “you can’t do that”, meaning “I wouldn’t do that” not “it’s forbidden”...I get it in some ways, if she as a non musician walked into my place and told me how I should play or record I’d be pissed too(potentially), but perhaps less so if I asked her for her help initially... Staff edit

Last edited by Silent Memory; 09-17-2020 at 01:55 AM. Reason: One paragraph was removed - Bigotry.
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post #19517 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-17-2020, 02:05 AM
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I'm convinced that everyone on YT and active in social media exists in an alternate dimension that has nothing to do with the dimension I inhabit. I literally can't relate to anyone. None of the experiences they have are remotely similar to the experiences I have.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #19518 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-17-2020, 04:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Dino View Post
Yeah, absence is always the one and only true solution to people like that. In my case and life situation I got myself into, this is difficult unfortunately. I use to think she will calm down more with age, but seems to be opposite. A retired high energy workaholic, that pent up energy will have to go somewhere. With her, unfortunately she unleashes through abusing a selection of people.

Many I have vented to have told me, it's also on my end to actually learn to be more emotionally numb and less sensitive after all of these years. Some go through abuse and they don't go around unloading to others in their life. Yet I do, which only bothers them and finally pushes them away.

Thanks
Well, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself if I were you - we don't pick our parents. You shouldn't blame yourself - she's the horrible one, not you.

And it's very hard to become less sensitive. All I'd say is being a sensitive person is something to be cherished, it's a nice way to be. Its just hard to live when you're like that because everything hurts. I'm the same way.

Hopefully though as you get older and you maybe get a family of your own all her nonsense will become less important and will affect you less.
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post #19519 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-17-2020, 05:52 AM
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post #19520 of 19628 (permalink) Old 09-17-2020, 10:05 AM
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Autumn is almost here.
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