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post #11441 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 01:06 PM
Tired
 
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So fkin lonely and hopeless. I had forgotten how much this stings. Lived with it for so long too. Got used to some taste of normality, and had it ripped away from me. Don't know if I have the strength to go onwards, but I can't regress back, its too painful now.

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post #11442 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 01:06 PM
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Maybe will make some vlogs again, though don't think anyone watches those here any more?

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post #11443 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 01:53 PM
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I hung out with an online friend that I haven't seen IRL recently, but she started being on the phone talking with other people multiple times, while we were out walking around. Is that a bad sign..Was I being too boring or lame? To be honest, I always find it rude and annoying when people do that, but I don't know if I could have said anything. Now I'm self-conscious if this wasn't because of me not talking enough and creating an awkwardness. She had ran into someone else she knew when she took me to a particular shop, who seemed quite talkative and they got into an energetic talk but I froze up so bad I didn't say pretty much anything the entire time she was around and started feeling third-wheeled.

Other than that, I enjoyed our time together, and she even brought me a present and treated me at a Korean place. I just feel like I end up disappointing her more everytime we meet up IRL, though, that maybe she's acting nice out of some sort of necessity. She has this punk/goth kind of vibe (has alot of tattoos, smokes, dresses in dark clothes) and has always seemed super popular, so I feel I'm someone too lame and bland to hang out with for her.



"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."



"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."


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post #11444 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
Maybe will make some vlogs again, though don't think anyone watches those here any more?
I may have watched, commented.

Zera.
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post #11445 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 03:58 PM
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This sounds so 80's.


@Crisigv

I think found your younger twin with hairstyle, makeup, brown eyes, etc.

Can see the hairstyle, makeup, etc better in this music videoclip.



Do you see what I mean by how pretty the Italian look is?

Zera.
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post #11446 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 04:15 PM
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^ Uh, we look nothing alike and she's much prettier. But thanks.
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post #11447 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 04:29 PM
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^ Uh, we look nothing alike and she's much prettier. But thanks.
Based on what I have seen of both of you, I think you both are pretty.

Was thinking how that hair dying look, little fringe thing would look on you.

Personal preference I guess.

You're welcome.

Zera.
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post #11448 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 05:05 PM
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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
So fkin lonely and hopeless. I had forgotten how much this stings. Lived with it for so long too. Got used to some taste of normality, and had it ripped away from me. Don't know if I have the strength to go onwards, but I can't regress back, its too painful now.
Sorry to hear Bob - hope you're feeling a bit better soon. Things will pick up again mate.
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post #11449 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 05:42 PM
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I finally got a job interview. Even if it doesn't work out, this means a lot to me. There were so many places I applied that instantly rejected me and I couldn't even reach the interview stage. I really hope this works out, but even if it doesn't this is a step for me. I'm happy, but anxious. And if I get rejected again, I need to able to not be too down on myself and just stop looking.

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post #11450 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 05:48 PM
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That energy drink helped me to do 100 situps. I feel refreshed. Might do some more tonight.
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post #11451 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 05:54 PM
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That energy drink helped me to do 100 situps. I feel refreshed. Might do some more tonight.
Be careful with situps. I think that might have been one of the things that contributed to messing up my back. I used to force myself to do a lot of them (and probably did them wrong on top of that). It never really helped and I have had bad back pain for most of my adult life as a result of whatever I did that made that happen (I can't say for sure that it was any one thing though).

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post #11452 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 06:27 PM
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That energy drink helped me to do 100 situps. I feel refreshed. Might do some more tonight.
Would need to do back exercises too to match, otherwise can slip a disc in the back due to weak back muscles. Usually won't happen until later in life, but any age above 20 is when it can happen. Just be aware of it and exercise accordingly to help prevent it happening.

Zera.
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post #11453 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 06:31 PM
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post #11454 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 06:31 PM
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no matter how inspiring a hairstyle picture i see on the internet, i'm not going to grow my hair long ever. mentally i'm comfortable this way + i don't care that much whether it looked better off long or not. also this:

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since i developed this new stimming habit, i didn't look back.
by touching my new-grown hair with my hand back and forth.
it feels like electricity in a good way + i like the sound. xD
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post #11455 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 06:37 PM
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Would need to do back exercises too to match, otherwise can slip a disc in the back due to weak back muscles. Usually won't happen until later in life, but any age above 20 is when it can happen. Just be aware of it and exercise accordingly to help prevent it happening.
Yea, that's a good idea. What back exercises do you recommend?
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post #11456 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 06:42 PM
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Yea, that's a good idea. What back exercises do you recommend?
I just make sure back is straightish and tighten, release the muscles next to spine at same time.

I think in a gym, usually you sit over edge of a workout bench (midway) and lift yourself upwards using back muscles. Feet are locked in place by the feet part of the bench.

Zera.
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post #11457 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 06:57 PM
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@PurplePeopleEater

Here is how to do back exercises from I think is a physio.


Zera.
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post #11458 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 07:38 PM
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That description of trying to socialize with Autism on this week’s BBC Health Check Podcast is me to the letter. I probably have some sort of high functioning version of it but I can’t be bothered to go through the process of getting diagnosed as an adult. So many things people react intuitively or instinctively to I’m trying to map out as if it’s a mathematical formula and even if it works some of the time it never works all of the time
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post #11459 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 09:26 PM
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pple with tongue piercing and PTSD

fk that sht. FUKK YOU
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post #11460 of 11947 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 10:09 PM
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pple with tongue piercing and PTSD

fk that sht. FUKK YOU
hey plz don't misunderstand me.
i'm only being judgmental..

all i'm saying is.. i believe there's a link between that kind of piercings obsessions/heavy tattoos and PTSD.

so if you have your tongue pierced, then fukk you kindly. xD
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